Listen to the Love

“Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer.”   Psalm 61:1

Happy New Year!  Each new year, many people make resolutions that are broken a few days into the year.  I do not make resolutions or even set goals for the year.  Over the past eight years, I have chosen a word for the year to be my focus.  Some of the words have been – “Different, Focus, Hope, Adventure, Courage and Light.”  My word for 2024 is “Listen.”  I always look up the definition of the word to help be my guide.  Listen is to give one’s attention to a sound, to pay attention to, to be attentive, to take in.

Ever talk with someone who you think is paying attention and listening to you only to have them respond at the end of your conversation, “What did you say.  I wasn’t listening?”  It is frustrating.  We feel unimportant and not worth their time.  To listen to someone is to want to hear their thoughts and feelings.  It is listening to their heart.

My dog Annie listened most of the time to my voice and commands.  She recognized my voice and came to me when I called her.  But there were times she got distracted by the smells and noises around her.  She heard my voice, but the distractions pulled her in the wrong direction.  As we begin a new year, whose voice are you going to listen to?  The world has so many distractions.  The voices of our past regrets, mistakes, mess ups, and hurts will continue to fill our thoughts if we let them. 

We may also listen to the anxiety and worry that builds within us.  We let the voice of worry and fear into our thoughts.  We live in the “what if’s” – “What if something bad happens?” “What if I had done more?”  So the worry and fear tells us we have to fix and control life on our own.  Worry and anxiety happen when we leave God out of our thoughts and do not listen to God’s whisper of love.

Listen to the gentle whisper of God.  Jesus came down at Christmas as the “whisper of God’s love” to us.  God loves us and gives to us His unconditional love and grace.  Emmanuel means “God is with us.”  The only way to hear and listen to God is to recognize God is with us.  God is constantly present in each of our lives.  It is our awareness of God’s presence that changes.

Love never ends.  I continue to hear and listen to the whisper of love that is now part of my foundation of life.  I hear my mom and my dad, my grandma, my husband, Dave, my dear friend, Ray, my friend, Ruth, and the list goes on and on.  I listen to their love that remains always in my heart.  God blessed my life with this love.  I need to continue to listen to their love.  They loved me for me and when I remember their love and how they lived that out in their own lives, that gives me guidance and direction.  Love continues to speak to me.

Listen to the love of God in this new year.  God promises to be with you through the pain, the struggles, the grief, the sadness, the uncertainty of life.  God does not always take us out of it.  Listen to God even in your darkness.  Be still and listen to the gentle whisper in your heart.  God is speaking to you.  It is up to you to be quiet, to be present, and listen to His love.

In 2024, I am focusing on listening.  Listen.

Check out my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Check out my latest books on Amazon

                             Living In the Different

                             Life Lessons of A Lone Trooper

                             Live Different Moments

Available to share with your group or organization about grief, life changes, how to live in the present and so much more.  Just message me!

Happy New Year!

Just Because It's Christmas

“While they were in Bethlehem, the time came for Mary to have the baby, and she gave birth to her first-born son.”  Luke 2:6-7

It is Christmas.  It comes every year whether you plan for it or not.  It comes whether you decorate and have a Christmas tree or not.  It comes whether you buy presents or not.  Christmas comes each year.  So what is Christmas?  Christmas is more than all these outward expressions of the season.  Christmas is the day we celebrate God breaking through into our world and becoming like us so that He could save us from our sins.  God comes to earth in the form of a baby – Emmanuel – God is with us.

Just because it is Christmas does not mean life is joyful and you want to celebrate with dinners, presents, and family.  You may be alone this Christmas or at least feel lonely in the gatherings of family and friends.  Your family may not bring you peace or be peaceful.

Anne Wilson wrote the song – “Just Because It’s Christmas.”  A few of the lyrics states –

“Just because it’s Christmas, doesn’t mean your heart don’t hurt

Just because it’s Christmas, doesn’t mean there’s peace on earth 

Bring your wounded heart to the manger

Fall down at the feet of the King

When thrills of hope don’t find you

He loves you just the same

You don’t have to be OK

Just because it’s Christmas. 

Just because it’s Christmas does not mean your day becomes a magical Hallmark Christmas moment.  Your circumstances may not change because of the outward display of the season and the date on the calendar. Your heart may still hurt.  Peace is no place to be found, and hope is only a glimmer.  Christmas is so much more than what we see around us or even more than what we feel.  It is bringing your hurt and broken heart to the manger and giving it to Jesus.  Jesus comes to be like us so that He could understand our hurts, brokenness, and bring peace and hope into our hearts and into this broken world.  Jesus came to earth to be the Savior of the world and of our lives.

Just because it is Christmas, your daily life may not change but who is with you in your daily life changes.  God is with you right now.  Christmas reminds us of God’s presence.  You are not alone.  Just because it is Christmas reminds you and me that God loves us so much that He came to be with us.  To live among us.  To die for our sins.  To be resurrected and give us the gift of eternal life.

Just because it is Christmas.  Receive the gift of Jesus.  Mingle your sadness with the hope that God is with you in your sadness.  You are not alone.  Just because it is Christmas, do not throw away the day because of how you feel.  Remind yourself that Jesus came today to understand and bring comfort to my heart.  Jesus came to be your Redeemer.  Jesus came as Emmanuel – “God is with us.”

Just because it is Christmas!!

Merry Christmas to each of you! God is with you!

Moments of Christmas

“The virgin will be pregnant.  She will have a son, and they will name him “Immanuel” which means God is with us.”  Matthew 1:23

I have accepted that Hallmark Christmas movies have some truth but not much reality.  It is more fiction than daily life.  There are Hallmark moments we experience in the season of Christmas.  Some light displays and cozy warm fires bring that feeling of the magic of the Christmas season.  But most of the time we live in unrealistic expectations that we can create the perfect moment.  Nothing is perfect all the time nor does every plan develop into a masterpiece.  Every family has some dysfunction and disagreement.  We all mess up from time to time, make mistakes, and our words sometimes hurt or offend.  Not an excuse but reality.

This time of year becomes more stressful and emotional.  Some of the reason is because of loss and not having our loved one to share the special moments.  For others, we desire the connection with family that is disconnected.  For those who try to create the perfect holiday celebration, something always goes wrong.  So, we focus on what we think we can control – the gifts, the decorations, the parties, the meals and all the other details that create a picture-perfect Hallmark Christmas.  But we still experience an emptiness and miss Christmas.

Christmas is Christ Jesus coming into our world.  Emmanuel is the name given to Jesus which means “God is with us.”  Christmas is about God loving you and me so much that He created a way to save us by his Son, Jesus being born in human form to be the sacrifice for our sins.  God came to be like us so He could redeem us.

So, Christmas to me is when I recognize the moments that God is with me.  Christmas comes in moments.  For example, Christmas came as I worshiped God with the Gaither’s at their Christmas Homecoming Concert.  I was surrounded by people singing and praising God as together we sang and listened to the songs of Christmas.  God’s Spirit was in that place and in our hearts.

Christmas came in the moment I listened to those grieving their loved ones but who also spoke of God’s comfort and presence on the journey.  God came through the words He gave me to share with the group.  Christmas came as a widow shared that she had read my book three times, and God gave her hope and encouragement through the words.  God was with her.

Christmas came as I sat with a friend and his wife as they face his decline and imminent death.  We talked about His faith in Jesus, and God being present with Him.  We talked not about the future but the present moment.  God was right in front of him and helping him find moments of peace.  God was and is with them in their goodbye.

I had moments of Christmas as I met with my friend, and we shared our lives and heart.  God was with us and always has been in our lives and friendship.  I am coming to understand that Christmas comes in moments when I recognize God’s presence with me.  God is with me in relationships when I acknowledge His presence and welcome Him into the relationship.

Are you welcoming God into your moments of Christmas?  No matter how sad, lonely, or different this season of Christmas may feel right now, invite God’s presence into it.  God comes to us in our moments when we quiet our souls and receive Him.  Christmas comes in the quietness of God’s whisper – “I am with you.”

Books and Blog

Each week I write a blog and post on Facebook and my website –

            www.livinginthedifferent.com

My last 3 books are available on Amazon or directly through me -

Living In The Different

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Live Different Moments 

If you purchase on Amazon, please write a review!  Thank You!

Books make great gifts any time of the year! 

I am available to lead seminars, talks, retreats, or speak on variety of topics, for example -

Grief

Living in this different life

How to take steps into life

Hope and Faith

Counseling and mental health topics

And many more… 

My purpose is to help others through the process of grief and find ways to live in this different life.  My hope is that through God, others find the strength and courage to live this different life by focusing on what is in front of them and live in the present moment.

You can message me for books and to schedule talks.

Blessings,

Elaine

LIVE DIFFERENT MOMENTS

By Elaine J. Clinger Sturtz

Is it possible to live differently in your current life with all the changes that have occurred?

Elaine J. Sturtz says “Yes” in this book.  “Yes, this is the life you now have.  You are free to live boldly and abundantly.  Be present in today.  Focus on what is in front of you.  Draw closer to God.  Embrace the change and enjoy each adventure.  Live in the different moments.”

Drawing from her own journey through grief and transformation, Elaine J. Clinger Sturtz offers a poignant exploration of the emotions, changes, and memories that accompany loss. Live Different Moments delves into the complex tapestry of grief, where sorrow and joy intermingle, and tears and hope coexist. Through personal anecdotes, the author shares how love, a constant presence even in the face of loss, becomes an integral part of one's foundation. As readers navigate the chapters of their own lives altered by loss, they'll find solace in the author's experiences and insights.

The book introduces a unique companion on the journey—Annie, the author's faithful beagle. Annie's unwavering presence served as a source of strength and understanding, illuminating the path toward a fuller life amid grief. Through Annie's story, readers will discover valuable lessons on embracing change and living differently. Live Different Moments invites you to change your focus and experience life differently, finding contentment and peace in the process. Join the author in this transformative adventure, hand in hand with God, as you turn the pages of your own new book of life. May you discover the peace and contentment that God has in store for you.

Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different &

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Elaine Sturtz, shares in Living In The Different, that grief is messy, hard, painful, filled with tears and loneliness, but also includes faith, hope and love.  She walks through the journey, the emotions, the changes and hurts.  Each grief is different, and grief changes our lives.  We are different, and how we live and interact with others is different.  The journey of grief takes different forms as we learn to live and mingle joy and sorrow together.  Elaine offers hope, a hope of hope, through these passages of sorrow and loss.  Hope is found in our faith in God who is love, and love never ends.

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper.  The full meaning of a person’s life is revealed in how they live on in the hearts of others.  It is their legacy and influence that bears fruit.  David D. Sturtz made a difference in this world and leaves a legacy through his work – in the Ohio State Highway Patrol, as the first Inspector General of the State of Ohio and as a friend.  Dave was a story teller and giver of life lessons.  The book shares his stories and the fruit of his labor.

Available on Amazon.com

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Also Available in E-Books.

Comfort and Joy

“You will teach me how to live a holy life.  Being with you will fill me with joy; at your right hand I will find pleasure forever.”  Psalm 16:11

I enjoy listening to the songs of Christmas. Songs that share the story of the birth of Jesus are the only songs that fill me with joy.  I love the music which makes me sway back and forth and fills my heart with memories.  The words express the coming of Jesus into our dark world to bring hope and salvation.  What was it like for Mary and Joseph to know that their child was the Son of God?  What did Mary really know?  The songs fill me with wonder and pull me into the reason for Christmas.

As I listen to the songs of Christmas, certain songs remind me of people who either sang them or loved them.  “O Holy Night” reminds me of my dear friend, Nancy Welshon, who sang this song every Christmas Eve until she was 91 years old.  “Go, Tell It On the Mountain” reminds me of Walter Fox who was in the church I grew up in, and Walter always requested the song the Sunday after Christmas.  “Away In a Manger” is the first song I remember singing as a child. “Silent Night” brings the image of candles and the darkness of the sanctuary being illuminated by all the candles as they are slowly lit throughout the sanctuary.

The music and the words go deep within my soul.  While I enjoy the lights of Christmas and the trees looks beautiful, my soul is not deeply touched by the décor of the season.  This year is the first of many Christmas seasons where I am seeking joy.  Joy has been mingled with grief for so long.  I feel the grief and sadness this year with the loss of my dear companion dog, Annie.  The words of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” seem to resound in my heart this year-” Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy, oh tidings of comfort and joy.”  I seek God’s comfort and His joy.

I recently had lunch with my almost 90-year-old dear friend whose wife went to Heaven this year.  He found comfort knowing his wife was healed in Heaven and with Jesus whom she loved.  As tears filled his eyes as we talked about his dear wife, I felt the joy of God’s presence with us and the comfort of God’s hand upon us.  In that moment, my soul was filled with comfort and joy.  Christmas had come to me in that moment.

What is comfort and joy?  Comfort is a state of ease from pain and grief.  It is a relief from the burden of carrying the sadness and sorrow alone. Comfort comes when we allow God to help carry the burden.  Joy is an inner contentment.  We cannot sustain joy and comfort on our own.  God provides the joy.  Nehemiah 8:10 states – “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” The only way we have true joy is by living close to Jesus and receiving His joy and comfort.

Happiness is different from joy.  I find happiness in external possessions and events and circumstances.  Happiness only lasts for that one moment. I have noticed that the secular songs are about happiness – “Happy Holidays” and “Home for the Holidays.”  This year, I find that the songs that do not share Jesus make me sad not happy.  Joy is found only in Jesus.  Joy is within us and is not based on external circumstances.  Joy is lasting even when it mingles with sorrow and grief. 

This Christmas I am seeking joy.  Joy that is found only in Jesus when we choose to walk with Jesus even in our sadness and sorrow knowing we can find contentment in His presence.  Seek the presence of Jesus this Christmas.

Listen to the Whisper

“And these are only a small part of God’s works.   We only hear a small whisper of him.
    Who could understand God’s thundering power?”  Job 26:14

She said whenever I could stop by, she would love to see me.  I heard the whisper in her heart.  She needed to talk with me. He whispered, “I still love her.”  I heard the loneliness in his heart.  She asked for prayers for her son.  I heard the whisper of her heart and the fear inside of her.  We may all have whispered, “God, I believe you are here.  I just need to hear you whisper to me.”

A whisper.  It is to speak softly using one’s breath without one’s vocal cords.  It is to softly speak without wanting someone else to hear.  God whispers to us so that we will move closer to Him to hear Him speak.  God appeared to Elijah in a “still gentle voice” or in a “soft whisper” or “the sound of a gentle blowing” found in I Kings 19:12. Are you listening for the whisper of God in your heart?

The world is a loud place, and even the holidays can be loud and overwhelming.  Some of you had a noisy Thanksgiving dinner with lots of people with the football game blaring in the background on the TV.  The stores are loud with Christmas music, bright decorations, and signs of sales and way too much stuff to buy. Others of you experienced quiet in these past days.  You were alone, but your thoughts may have been loud with worries and fears.  You hear the noises of the season and just want to escape it and want it to be over.  You hear the loneliness shout at you.  The quiet is deafening and it is difficult to hear the whisper of God over the shouts of pain, loneliness, and the emptiness of your heart.  The noise and the quiet can both be loud.

Before I begin my morning devotions, I pray, “Lord, help me hear your word to me today.”  Recently, I have changed my prayer – “Lord, may I listen to your whisper to me today.”  I not only want to hear but to listen.  My desire is to listen to God speak His Word to my heart each day.  To hear is an involuntary response to sound.  We may hear a sound but not take it within or process it.  It is like someone who hears you talk but does not listen or comprehend what you actually said.  To listen is to actively pay attention.  To listen is to receive, respond, and have the desire to understand and take the sound or words within the heart.

My desire is to listen with my heart and to take in God’s word for me each day.  To me Christmas is God’s whisper to a hurting and broken world.  Jesus, the Savior of the world and the Son of God, comes quietly into this world as a baby.  He is born in a small village in a place where animals live.  Born to an unknown couple – Mary and Jospeh.  God had whispered to Mary and Joseph, and they listened to Him. 

So, how do you hear the whisper of Jesus this Christmas?  It is not in the media and the loudness of society’s clamor to buy.  It begins with your heart.  Listen with your broken and anxious heart.  Jesus came just for you.  Step out of the craziness of the season.  Do not get lost in the busyness and all the tasks.  Enjoy the simple things of the season that are right in front of you – holiday lights and parades, family time, hot chocolate, reading the Gospels, worship, fellowship, and singing the Christmas songs.

My focus in December is experiencing adventures and pulling closer to people I choose.  My desire is to listen to God whisper through His Word and through the people God puts on my path.  It is listening to God and embracing the God appointments He has for me this season.

God whispers His joy through the eyes and smiles of a child.  Be childlike this Christmas.  Find that inner joy that no sorrow or pain can take away.  I see God’s whisper in His creation through the sunrise and the sunset.  I hear God’s whisper in the wind and the rustle of the remaining leaves.  I listen and the moon whispers, “I reflect God’s light.”  That is my desire – reflect the light of Jesus this Christmas.

We cannot hear God’s whisper if we do not take the time to be still.  To sit and quiet our thoughts and to listen to our souls.  Allow your soul to sigh – to release the worry, the fears, the hurts, and the loneliness.  Listen to God’s whisper of love and compassion.  God whispers – “Jesus – Emmanuel – God is with us.”

Recognize Reality

“This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: every spirit that acknowledges Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God.”  I John 4:2-3 NIV

Each generation has terminology that expresses agreement and acknowledgement that something is good, real, and accepted.  For example, the 1960’s used “groovy,” the 1970’s use “hip”, the 1980’s used words like “rad” or “radical.”  Then came the 1990’s with “da bomb.”  You may have then used words similar to “like”, “awesome”, “cool”, “outrageous”, or even “gnarly”.  There were so many terms of expression that were used in almost every sentence.

Recently, I noticed my word has been “recognize.”  I caught myself using it continuously in my counseling sessions.  I affirmed clients in recognizing a distorted behavior or how they perceived someone else’s actions and words.  They recognized the false impression and how they were trying to please others at the expense of themselves.

To recognize.  We may recognize someone in a store but forget their name or when we met them.  We may acknowledge them and greet them.  It is in conversation that we remember who they are and our past connection.  To recognize is to acknowledge.  It is to identify someone as having a previous encounter.  To recognize is also to accept and realize who we are and who someone else really is based on behaviors and events in life.  We may also recognize distortions and misconceptions.

In this season of life, you may recognize you are different because of the changes that have occurred in your life.  Your world has changed.  You look in the mirror and remember who you used to be because of your past encounter with your previous self in your past life.  But you now look in the mirror and realize you have changed because life has dramatically changed.

The Holiday season is upon us, and family gatherings are all around.  It is at these gatherings that your thoughts and perceptions become intertwined with all these changes.  You are looking through some different lenses and seeking authenticity and what is real.  Your views of life and priorities are different and stronger to some extent.  You begin to see people for who they really are. Sometimes it is healthy to sit back and listen and ask God to give you an understanding of the people with whom you share life.  You recognize the person who always talks about himself and what he has done and has no interest in hearing the stories of others.  You recognize the one who serves and needs the approval of others.  You recognize the one who is shy or lonely or always happy.  You begin to see what is in the hearts of your family because you are looking at life more from your heart.

You are beginning to recognize the reality of your world and accept people for who they are.  You cannot change them nor fix them or their world.  You are learning to enter into their life box or world, enjoy the moments with them, validate them as a child of God and valuable, and now you recognize you can leave their box and let them live the life they choose.  Your daily life and decisions do not have to be influenced by your past interactions with them or your present interactions.  You are privileged to live in moments with them, and then release them to God.

Do you recognize who you are becoming?  Acknowledge and accept your past mistakes and hurts.  Learn from your past.  Release your old life and take the foundation of what you have learned and the love into your present.  Recognize life has changed.  Recognize that it is perfectly natural to have a plethora of emotions.  Name them, feel them, release them.  Emotions do not need to be in control.

Recognize who loves you and who never changes.  Recognize who is always with you and is your foundation of life.  Recognize God’s presence through His Spirit never leaves you.  Recognize that you are always in God’s presence. Recognize God loves you for who you are right now.  The reality of life is that God is always with you even in the storms of life.  Recognize God is the one who comforts and holds us.  God is with you right now.  Acknowledge God’s presence.  Recognize God with you is your reality.  Live in these moments with God.

Signature of the Heart

“You show that you are a letter from Christ sent through us.  This letter is not written with ink but with the Spirit of the living God.  It is not written on stone tablets but on human hearts.” 

2 Corinthians 3:3 NCV

Recently, my friend posted a picture on social media of her son, Zak, who plays for a college football team signing his autograph for young fans at an event.  Zak’s autograph will have value in a few years.  Athletes, entertainers, and government officials sign autographs because society sees their signatures as valuable.  They are well known and having their signature elevates our status that for a brief moment, we were with them.

Our signatures.  We sign our name on checks, letters, official documents, agreements, loan papers, forms, and lots of other paperwork.  When I counsel, I take notes and at the end of the session I sign my name as my official witness to what I wrote was true.  We sign our names on paperwork to show that we agree with what is written on the form or document.  Our name represents who we are.

I have been signing my recently published book – Live Different Moments – at book signings in the area.  My signature represents that this is my book, I wrote every word, and I believe it is true.  I agree with the words in the book.  Other people request that I sign the book with my full name and write something to them so that they can claim ownership of the book and a relationship with the author.

I have a box filled with special cards and letters from family and friends.  Each is signed with love and are treasured possessions.  I have letters from my Grandma which are signed – “Love, Grandma” and letters from my mom signed “Love, Mom.” They did not need to sign their full names but signed their relationship name.  While the letters are written with ink and on paper, the words express the love and connection of our hearts and our relationship.

My signature represents who I am – my name.  It is my family name and my relationship name.  Society knows me by my name.  Our name is more than letters on a page.  Each signature is unique.  Some are impossible to decipher like a doctor’s signature and others have beautiful penmanship. Our signature represents our character, our foundation, and even our heart.  When you see someone’s name you know, you immediately have an opinion and view of the person and define them by your relationship with them.

So, what does your name say about you?  Who are you?  What’s your character and foundation? When someone sees your signature, what comes to their minds?  Is your signature legible?  Is it distinctive?

When I read the Bible, I see the words as God’s signature on our hearts.  God’s Word is true and reflects the nature and character of God.  God loves us so much that He gave His Son, Jesus, as the sacrifice for our sins.  Jesus’ signature is His blood shed for you and me.  We can claim relationship with the Author of the Bible.

God’s signature is also in nature.  I see God’s signature in the sky with sunrises and sunsets.  I see God’s signature in the beauty of the fall leaves and the crisp blue sky.  God’s signature is in the animals who bring us joy.  God’s signature is all around us.

I believe God writes His love on our hearts.  We are God’s signature in this world.  We have value and worth because we are children of God. The Holy Spirit is God’s signature within you.  Allow the signature of your heart to have value and worth.  Allow it to reflect the depth of God’s love to others.  Allow the signature of God’s love to give your life purpose and meaning.

Consistent in Strength and Need

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 NIV

Every morning after my run, I create a protein shake for my breakfast.  The ingredients are the same – banana, blueberries, water, protein powder, spinach, and ice.  It is all blended together and the color varies between purple and green.  The protein powder brand may vary, and some powders taste better than others.  I try new ones to see if I like them better.  The main ingredients stay the same but some days I may put a little more of one in it.  Some days it is creamy and smooth, and other days icy and lumpy.  Some days, I spill the shake pouring it into my cup, and other days I get the powder all over my hands and counter trying to get it out of the container.  The ingredients are similar, but the results are different.

My friend, Mikey, called my shakes “green slime.”  The last time I saw him, he asked if I was still drinking those awful green shakes.  Mikey never tasted the shake, but the look of them was not appetizing to him.  He would prefer a pastry or a drink instead.  Yes, it does not always look good to others, but to me it tastes good and provides the needed nourishment for my body.  It is a healthy way for me to give my body protein.

My protein shake has similarities to daily life.  Each day has the same basic ingredients – our routine, work and tasks, relationships, our environment and nature, and God.  Some days are smooth and enjoyable, and life seems to flow naturally and provide what we need.  We are filled with good.  Other days are filled with bumps and lumps where nothing seems to work or go right, and you make messes on the counter of your life.

Daily life does not always look good or turn out the way you had planned or expected.  There is a main ingredient to life just like my protein shakes.  When I do not use quality protein, my shakes do not taste as good nor are they as creamy and smooth.  What is your main ingredient in your life – yourself? Other people?  Possessions? The world?  I am striving to make God the main focus of my life each and every day.

I, like, Mikey, always thought protein shakes were nasty, and I did not want to try them.  Once I did and found out how good they taste and how healthy they are for my body, my perspective changed.  When we change the view that God only punishes us and causes all this pain and hurt in life and see God as the one who loves us the most and is always with us no matter what life brings, we begin to grow in our relationship with God.

Some of what happens in life, challenges us and makes us question God.  It feels messed up and nasty.  You wonder how you are to trust God in the mess.  It is through the mess and uncertainty that we become more dependent on God and trust Him even when we do not understand. 

I have found that the main ingredient in my shakes – protein – helps my body function better without all the sugar and carbs in my previous morning breakfast.  When I am consistent, I feel better.  Some days I do add a little more protein powder knowing I might need a little extra for my day.  When we make God the main focus in our lives, we find that God is consistent in our lives.  God will meet our needs according to the riches of Jesus.  That is, God will give us strength to face each day.  Some days, we may need a little extra patience to deal with a person.  Other days, we may need a little extra hope when the situation feels hopeless.  Another day we may need more peace to deal with the worry and anxiety that fills us.  God will supply all our needs.  It is relying on God’s strength, not just your own. 

I need to drink my shakes every day and eat other healthy meals to nourish my body. I need to renew my commitment to following Jesus every day and focus each day on God’s strength and presence.  It is reminding yourself of God’s consistent presence not just in certain times or places, but all the time and in every situation.  God is consistent in His love, strength, power, presence.  Be consistent in bringing every need to Him every day to strengthen and guide you.

Begin each day filling your body with good food.  Begin each day filling your soul with the Presence of God.  By living consistently in God’s presence, you have the strength you need each day – God’s strength in you.  God will supply your need.

Check out my new book -

Live Different Moments - on Amazon

Conflicted In The Heart

“His anger lasts only a moment, but his kindness lasts for a lifetime. Crying may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning. You changed my sorrow into dancing. You took away my clothes of sadness and clothed me in happiness.”  Psalm 30:5, 11

As I sit in my sunroom writing this blog, the sun is shining, and the room is warm from the sun. I look outside and the sky is blue. There is a slight breeze moving the few remaining leaves on the trees. The humidity is low, so the air is crisp and clear. I am comfortable inside and need to complete this blog, but the beauty of creation invites me outside. I am torn between writing, resting, and enjoying this perfect fall day inside or going outside. There is a conflict within me.

The fall has been beautiful this year with all the fall foliage and crisp refreshing air. I so enjoy the changing seasons. As the calendar changed to November and the clocks are turned back an hour, I am reminded the holiday season is now upon us. The stores finished the Halloween candy and décor and immediately began November with the full press of the Christmas season. I walked into my neighbor’s home this week and it looked like Hobby Lobby blew up in her place. She is preparing for an early Christmas with her family. I love Christmas decorations but not so early in November. There is conflict within me.

In the past two weeks, I have participated in several grief groups with the topic being how to survive the holidays. Holidays are filled with all types of emotions naturally and then you add grief to it, there will be conflict within. One young lady when asked what her emotion was for this holiday season said, “I am conflicted.”  She went on to explain she wanted to celebrate the season with her children, but the pain and hurt from her loss brought overwhelming grief and sadness.

Conflicted feelings and emotions. We all experience this in our hearts. We do not know what to believe or feel. It is confusing. One moment you feel excited about the coming of the holidays and being with family and friends, and the next minute you are overwhelmed and scared. You feel alone, but you are surrounded by family and friends.

The conflict is not just connected to the holiday season. It comes in almost all aspects of life.  I heard this statement recently – “It’s in my head but not my heart yet.”  She was trying to accept the change in her life and release the past. She knew what to do but her emotions were not willing to embrace the different. She was conflicted inside. She knows the reality of her life, but emotionally does not want to accept and believe that she needs to move forward. The old life is completed, but it is difficult to accept when the love is so strong in her heart.

I am not talking about conflict with other people. This is a conflict within our hearts. I feel conflicted emotionally. I sigh and accept that this is now my life. It is what it is and this is now my reality. I sigh and accept changes. I sigh and realize that is who that person is or that I cannot control the situation. Then the next moment I cry out of frustration, anger, and hurt. Then I laugh at myself because I took the situation so seriously. Life is filled with conflicted emotions. We feel different emotions almost simultaneously.

God created us with such a wide range of emotions, and we feel a variety of them at the same time and in the same situation. We cry at night, and then joy comes in the morning. We laugh in the midst of our sorrow and tears. Give yourself permission to mix all those emotions together.

I have learned on this journey to take an emotional step back in situations where I am feeling conflicted. To sigh and release even when I cannot put words to all the emotions of the situation. I am learning to release to God by saying, “OK, God, keep me focused on your plan not mine. Your timing not mine. Help me to trust you in this moment.” Tears may come to cleanse my soul. I surrender to God. I give myself permission to feel all these feelings.

Sighing and crying release the emotions inside, and joy and laughter fill us up. The scripture tells us “Joy comes in the morning.” After we release, God brings joy and contentment in the midst of the situation. God tells us that all of these emotions can exist together when we allow God to be in the midst of them.

My new book – Live Different Moments – is available on Amazon or directly through me.

Angel Appointment

“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.”  Hebrews 13:2 NIV

Last year when we came back from Key West, our flight was delayed over an hour leaving Key West.  We arrived in Charlotte fifteen minutes before our connecting flight was to leave.  We literally ran through the airport and made the flight just before the doors were closed.  So this year, we decided to schedule a later flight and enjoy a leisurely dinner at the airport.  Our flight had no delays, and we arrived at Charlotte with a three-hour wait for the next flight.  We checked the airlines to see if we could get on the earlier flight that had not boarded yet.  We were placed on standby and then received boarding passes for this flight.  Yeah! We would now arrive home over two hours earlier!

Little did I know that God had an appointment for me on this earlier flight.  My seat was in the middle and there was already a lady seated in the aisle seat when we boarded.  I always speak to whomever I am seated beside. I said, “Hi” and she responded that this was only her second time flying and she was a little nervous.  I told her I enjoy flying and that I would talk with her through the flight.  She showed me a picture of her new granddaughter which was the reason for her travels.    She shared about her job, and she asked me what I did.  I shared that I was a counselor, and my focus was on grief.  Then she shared about her mom who was struggling after the death of her dad.  I shared about my book – Living In The Different and gave her my card with my website.  We talked most of the flight.

When we encountered some turbulence, she was scared.  I touched her arm and assured her that this was normal, and we were going through a storm.  She was anxious until she looked back a row and saw another lady visibly shaken by the turbulence.  My seatmate reached back to her and comforted her and gave her breathing techniques that she had learned from another seatmate on her first flight.  As she gave help and comfort to someone else, her fears calmed.  Her focus was no longer on herself but on how she could help someone else.  God gives to us comfort so that we can give comfort to others.

She turned back and smiled at me.  She said, “I never told you my name – it’s Angel.”  When we landed, we walked Angel to the baggage claim.  I hugged her and we parted knowing we had just had a Divine appointment.

God put me on that flight for Angel and orchestrated the flight change.  I believe God cares for the details of our lives and places people and situations in front of us.  Angel needed someone to comfort her on the flight.  Her mom needed help in her grief.  The other lady needed Angel’s comfort.  I needed to be reminded by God who was in control.

I believe that there are angels all around us.  Angels guide, protect, and are messengers from God.  We are never alone in this world even when we feel lost.  Sometimes we may not be aware of the angels around us, but I believe they are with us.

Alabama sings the song – Angels Among Us

Oh, I believe there are angels among us

Sent down to us from somewhere up above

They come to you and me in our darkest hours

To show us how to live, to teach us how to give

To guide us with the light of love

Yes, I believe God sends angels as His messengers to be with us in our darkest hours and to guide us.  I am being open to the Divine Appointments God has for me.  Trust that God has you where He needs and wants you.  Look around and maybe you are the angel someone else needs in their life.  You just need to be open and available to God’s leading and purpose.

My next book - Live Different Moments - will be released on November 1, 2023 and will be available on Amazon.

Live Different Moments

“We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him.  They are his people he called, because that was his plan.”   Romans 8:28 NCV

I recently returned from a week in Key West, Florida.  We spent time with my cousin. The weather was perfect – sunny, breezy, and warm.  Key West is an adventure that does not usually fit my lifestyle.  I do not drink, party, or enjoy the wild night life that is typical of the island.  But I found God in the different moments in the city.  God’s creation was all around us – the sunshine, the clouds, the sunsets, the ocean, and the quiet rest while star gazing.  I found God in the smiles, the conversations, and the dogs.  I tried to live in the present and not allow the temptations of the world block God’s presence.  I chose to focus on what God prepared for me each day and enjoy the moments.  I was living differently than those around me, and I felt God’s presence and did not have the desire to participate in what others were doing.

I have embraced the changes in my life and am trying to keep my eyes on Jesus.  I am depending more on God to lead and direct me in these different moments.  I am beginning to define who I am in Jesus not other people.  I am allowing the Holy Spirit to be my guide and give me strength for each situation.  It is releasing control to God and trusting God even when I cannot see or feel God’s presence.

I am viewing life as an adventure.  It is doing different activities and changing my attitude toward life.  It is trying new experiences and being true to who I am and not allowing other people to sway or influence me in a direction I do not want to go.  I am learning to live in front of me.  To be present in the moment and aware of what is around me.  It is living fully in the presence of God.  God knows what is best for me, and I trust God.  I find joy in the simple things of life and in the natural beauty that surrounds me.  I do not need to be entertained or sit in front of a box.  I want to enjoy life and be active in nature, the sunshine and the laughter and the joy of life.

As we live in these different moments, we will mess up and go the wrong direction at times.  The mess ups do not need to define your life, just the moment.  It is learning from them, letting go, and moving on.  I am moving closer to Jesus and enjoying the companionship of the One who loves me the most.  I am learning to be content with where I am, who I am, and whose I am.

Do you need help to live different moments?  We all do.  My dog, Annie, has been my inspiration in how to live differently.  Spell dog backward and you will find God.  Both give unconditional love and support.  God blessed me with Annie for almost eleven years.  She left her mark on my heart and life. 

Now Annie will guide you, too, to live fully and abundantly in this life through my next book – Live Different Moments.  It has been published.  The official release date is November 1, 2023.  Each chapter has an Annie story to guide in taking steps to live different moments.  It is a sequel in a sense to Living In The Different.  As you go through the intensity of grief, change, loss, and desire to live into the next chapter of life, you need direction.  This book provides those next steps.  The book reveals steps to take like – embrace change, let go, set boundaries, look up, live in front of you, simplify life, find contentment, and more.

Live Different Moments is available on Amazon and from me at area book signings and seminars that will be posted on my website.  Anyone wanting to host a book signing at your home or business or a seminar at your church or with your life group or organization, just contact me.

You were meant for more in life.  Live forward.  Live in the moment.  Depend on God and take His hand into life.

The Legacy of Mom

“She speaks wise words and teaches others to be kind.  She watches over her family and never wastes her time.  Her children speak well of her.”  Proverbs 31:26-28

Each October, my thoughts and my blog turn to my mom.  She died on October 14, 2006.  I think of her every day, but October brings the reality that she is not physically her on earth.  Many of you have had to release your mom to Heaven, and you miss the physical connection.  Nobody replaces the love and relationship of your mom.  I have learned to live without her present, but her presence remains in my heart forever.

It was because of my mom that I exist.  God created me to grow in my mom’s womb, and the bond from birth never dies.  My mom had a special relationship with each of her children.  I enjoy hearing stories of my mom when I gather with my siblings and hear their perspective.  Recently I talked with one of my mom’s friends, and she shared how much she loved my mom.  She was always touched by her faith and knowledge of the Bible.  My mom made a difference in this world.

My mom was the first person who taught me about Jesus through Sunday School and reading the Bible.  My mom taught with her actions also.  I witnessed my parents reading devotions together every morning at breakfast.  My mom’s Bible was always beside her chair.  She not only read the Scriptures, but she also lived out the words in her daily life.  She was known for her gentle spirit and her prayers.

I know my mom prayed for me daily, and I miss those prayers knowing someone was always praying for me each day.  I have continued to pray for my family each day asking God to watch over them and guide them.  My mom sent birthday cards to everyone in the family, and I have continued that tradition, too.  My mom was a baker and lover of sweets.  I continue to bake cookies and share them with others.

Knowing my mom was just a phone call away or a short drive was always comforting to me.  There are days, you just need your mom.  I miss my mom every day.  I still have the urge to call her and ask how to do something.  She was Google before Google was invented.  When God gives me a Scripture insight, I want to call and share it with her.  I still talk with her each day in my mind and know she is still with me in my heart.

Today, I remember with love my mom.  I am sad she is not physically present with me, but she remains in my heart forever.  I grieve her loss but celebrate that she lived.  I am thankful for her life, her impact and imprint on my life.

Anniversary dates are a time to reflect and remember.  We may cry because our loved one is not present, but we rejoice that they lived and made a difference in our lives.  I am a better person because my mom lived and was my mom.  I give thanks for her life.  Give thanks to God for your loved ones who are now with Jesus.  They made a difference in your life and are part of your foundation of life and faith.  Remember and treasure those memories.

Abundant Generosity

“You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.”  2 Corinthians 9:11 (NIV)

I asked my older couple friends if they would like to take a drive somewhere in the state just to get out of the house.  I knew they had been confined due to health issues.  We would take them wherever they wanted to go.  She chose a State Park, and off we went for an adventure.  The weather was perfect for a drive.  We shared lunch together, explored the country roads, and finished the day with ice cream.  It was a beautiful day viewing God’s creation, sharing in conversation, and being blessed with their friendship.  She thanked us for being so generous with our time and our willingness to spend the day with them. We all received a blessing that day.  They were generous in their friendship and wanted to share life together.  We were all abundantly blessed by God.

What does it mean to be generous?  Generosity is usually associated with financial gifts and material possessions. God wants us to give our tithe to Him and to give to others in need, but generosity is so much more.  It is a simple act of giving oneself to enhance the well being of others.  It is giving of your time, your talents, and your heart with compassion and love.  It is not the size of the gift, but the heart that matters to God.

The Gospels tell the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand with the gift of two fish and five barley loaves of bread from a young boy.  Jesus took the boy’s lunch that he generously gave without regard for its smallness in comparison to the great need of the crowd.  Jesus multiplied the gift.  When we give to God what we have, God will multiply it in abundance.  We focus on how little it is, while God focuses on our heart and our willingness to be generous.

Being generous with our time seems to be difficult as we try to decide our priorities and what really matters now in life.  Time is our most precious possession.  Sometimes we waste time by worrying if it is the right thing to do.  How do you spend your time?  Who do you prioritize with your time?  Are you generous to yourself with your time?  There is so much that can be time stealers.

Jesus tells us in John 10:10 – “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”  Abundance does not just mean having a lot.  Abundance is the appreciation of life in its fullness and joy.  It is a focus in giving thanks for the blessings of life.  I believe Jesus calls us to abundant generosity.  To live fully and generously.

In finding your way into this different life, you may feel you have nothing to give, feeling empty and cannot even grasp that an abundant life is even available or possible.  Yes, healing time is needed.  Then it becomes time to figure out who you are now and how do you live the life you now have.  It is not getting stuck in feeling sorry for yourself and just existing.

Sometimes healing continues when you focus on doing something for someone else.  It is getting out of your head and enjoying time with someone else.  It is being generous with your time even when you feel unsure and do not think your giving will matter.  I guarantee you will feel better about yourself when you give and focus on meeting a need.  It will make you feel good for moments and gain purpose in life.

The fullness of life is given to us as a free gift from God through His Son, Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit.  God so generously gives us life.  It may not be what we planned or expected.  It will look different, but it is abundant and free.  It is an appreciation that you still have a life.  God still loves you, and God still gives you an abundance of grace and mercy.  God is generous and supplies our needs but not always our wants and desires.

Abundant generosity is revealed fully in God’s love for you.  If God only gave you salvation through Jesus’ death on the cross, that would be enough.  But the Creator of the Universe (or as my friend, Mary, refers to God – the CEO of the Universe) desires to be your constant companion. God is so generous that He gives beautiful sunrises and sunsets for your enjoyment, provides for the daily needs of life, walks with you in sorrow and gives peace abundantly.  God generously gives a way to communicate with Him through prayer, and He listens to every word and every heart.  God abundantly cares and is present even in the storms of life.

Abundant Generosity is releasing control of your time, possessions, finances, and everything you are and have to God.  It is appreciating the life you now have and living into this life.  It is giving thanks for what you have and not focusing on what you do not have.  It is being generous to yourself by enjoying time in God’s presence and not focused on trying to figure out life without God.  It is simply caring about the relationships in your life and living fully in them by giving of yourself to enjoy being with them but not to fix, control or being consumed.  Abundant life is living in God’s presence and allowing God to work through you to be generous with who you are.  Receive the abundance of life lived in relationship with Jesus.

Progress Not Perfection

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Romans 12:2 NIV

The sign on the pre-school marquee read – “Progress not Perfection.”  I like that statement.  Progress means you are going forward and working toward something.  You have not arrived, but you are taking steps.  Someone left me a message wanting to talk with me.  The message stated, “I’m ready to move forward with my life, and I don’t want to do it wrong.  I need to talk it through with you.”  Great statement of progress.  Ready to live in his different life but needed guidance.  She wanted to find purpose again to her life she told me, and he needed to make a decision for his future.  Both desiring steps forward.

In life, we desire purpose and meaning, and we want to do it perfectly right.  So what is your standard of measurement?  Is it a comparison to others?  If so, you need to remember God created you as an individual with different gifts, abilities, and purpose than those around you.  When you measure your life, progress and even decisions on those around you, it may seem you are not progressing as quickly or going in the same direction.  They appear to be doing life effortlessly while you are struggling.  Their lives seem perfect, and you do not feel like you are even progressing.  That is your perception.

If your measuring stick is social media, it questions everything you do.  Society tends to be judgmental and demanding while easily pointing out your flaws and lack of thought in decisions.  Your progress is rarely praised.  It just calls attention to where you fall short.  Perfection is defined by social media as doing the standard without flaw like everyone else.  Someone created the standard and does not want you to deviate from it.

So, I am changing the focus from others and social media to God.  God is perfect.  Jesus calls us to be perfect.  “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”  (Matthew 5:48)  One definition of perfection is the state or quality of being free or as free as possible from flaws or defects.  God is free of sin and has no flaws or imperfections.  When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are free from the hold of sin on our lives.  We are forgiven for our sins.  We are free to live without the burden of the past sins and to be released of the guilt of sin.  God looks at our heart which has been cleansed by the blood of Jesus.  We continue to fight against sin and progress toward being perfect.  God knows in this world we will not be perfect.  That happens in Heaven.

What God requires is that we progress toward perfection – to be free from what holds us back from living in relationship with Him. To do this, we need to surrender control of our total being to God.  Is God in charge of your mind, your thoughts, your dreams, your body, your social life, your relationships?  You may worship God and give Him praise and even spend quiet time in devotion and prayer.  All of this is vital to your personal relationship with Jesus but to go toward perfection and be free of the bonds of sin in this world, you need to make progress in all areas of your life.  It is allowing God to permeate every aspect of your life helping you to make progress in living life abundantly for God.

There is no compartmentalization with God.  God wants you and me to give control of our thoughts to Him, what we watch, scroll through, listen to – everything we put into our minds and everything that comes out of our mouth, needs to glorify God.  That needs to be our heart’s desire.  God knows we will mess up and not be perfect, but is it our desire to progress toward this perfection of living in constant communion and awareness of God’s Presence?

In your relationships is God an active participant?  In your social life and family life, can others see Jesus in your words, actions, and love?  It is a process, but are you intentionally progressing toward God being in the center of all of your life?

You may be thinking, “I’m nowhere near perfection.  I’m struggling just to survive.”  Remember, it is a process.  In this different life, I have learned to focus on one day at a time.  That’s how God created us to live in one 24-hour period of time.  So, I begin each day asking God, “What is my purpose today?” What does God want you to do today? It is not about a huge life purpose.  It is about the reason God has for you today.   Our purpose is to glorify God.  It may be through a conversation, a hug or a smile to someone having a tough day.  I ask God to place on my path His “God appointments” for the day.  In making decisions, am I being a good steward of what God has blessed me?  It is waiting on God’s leading.

I desire to keep my focus on the Word of God and allow the Holy Spirit to direct my path.  I may take some wrong turns and mess up.  God knows my heart’s desire is to follow Him on the path to His perfect love.  I ask forgiveness and keep making progress.   Progress not perfection!

Lost in the Mire of the Dire

“Why am I so sad? Why am I so upset? I should put my hope in God and keep praising Him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42:5

He pulled into the garage and scraped his vehicle on the garbage can leaving a scratch on the side of the vehicle.  She told me that if she surrenders her life to God something bad will happen because when she gives up control bad things always happen.  He messed up again and wondered why he could not do everything right.  She tried to take care of all the details but forgot something which would have made the day so much better.  She made the chili and when she put the chili powder in, too much came out.  How do you make it less spicy?  Oh, the bad things that keep happening.  Getting lost in the mire of bad.

Oh, I could go on and on with examples of the bad things that happen in daily life.  Usually not life altering circumstances every time.  Just mess ups and frustrating actions that influence the attitude toward the day.  It is distressing to experience the consequences of the lack of thought and focus that lead to less than perfect days.  We mess up. We make mistakes.  We do things wrong.  Life does not turn out like we had hoped and planned.  Then we focus on all that went wrong and get upset at ourselves for not paying closer attention or not being smart enough to prevent the problem or bad outcome.

We get stuck in the mire – the distress or even embarrassment of what we did or did not do.  We have a difficult time letting go of our mistakes or situations we did not handle well.  We may ask God to forgive us and help us to let it go.  We accept God’s grace and forgiveness, but we do not forgive ourselves for not being perfect.  We develop a view of not being good enough even for God.  We always mess up and wonder why God would even love us?

Other times we focus on the bad and pile up the negative incidents and events.  Soon all we see is the mire of constant distress.  We ask, “Why do bad things keep happening to me?  When will I get a break?”  Stop putting it all together and ruining the entire day.  When something happens that irritates and frustrates or was just bad, tell yourself that was just one incident.  Oh, well, it happened.  I cannot change it, but it does not have to destroy my mood for the day.  Release it to God.

When all we see are the problems, hurts, sadness, and negativity of life, we get pulled into the mire. We are stuck in a place that seems hopeless and impossible to navigate.  We are cast down without someone or something to pull us out of the mud that keeps us going in circles and making no progress.

Begin looking up and changing your focus.  Yes, we mess up.  Make mistakes.  People hurt us and accuse us of wrong.  We are judged unfairly.  We do things without thinking them through and live out the consequences.

Life changes.  Circumstances happen that are out of our control.  Through my journey, I have begun to accept that life happens and how I handle it is up to me.  I can remain stuck in the pain and anger.  Or I can talk with God and get out my anger, frustration, and hurt and release it.  I am learning to wait in God’s presence.  To be still.  Breathe in the Holy Spirit and breathe out my feelings.  To be calm and focus on what is good and count my blessings.

No easy task to change a pattern of life but it sure is worth it.  Situations and people are no longer in control of my life.  Sure it creeps in at times, but then I surrender to God again and again.  I focus on the beauty of God’s creation, and I look up more.  I see God’s angel wings in the clouds. I see the beauty of the blue sky, the trees, and feel the refreshing breeze.  I slow down instead of getting caught up in the things that have no eternal value.  The mire of life is not dire.  Not urgent, awful or terrible.  Not all of it anyway.

Life is different.  Life is good.  Life is living in God’s presence. 

Actively Still

“Be still and know that I am God.”   Psalm 46:10

I recently enjoyed the Wyandot County Fair.  I walked through the buildings.  Ate fair food.  Bought two mums.  Visited with family and friends.  Enjoyed the country feel of my hometown roots.  The evening culminated in watching the chicken scramble.  I have watched it the past two years because I had family participating in it.

The chicken scramble is a noisy, fun, and very active event.  It takes place in a fenced in dirt arena with little children and lots of chickens.  The chickens are in cages and released to waiting children who are anxious to catch them and put them back into the cage.  Every child and every chicken are running in the arena trying to catch or trying not to be caught.  Some chickens even flew over the fence so as not to be caught.

It was a wild time of excited activity everywhere.  Adults were chasing the chickens that flew over the fence.  Little children were running all around the arena.  Chickens not knowing where to run.  And bleachers filled with laughing and cheering fans.  Quite the activity and excitement.  The county fair definitely fulfilled its promise to be fun and lively.  Quiet and stillness came when all the chickens were caught and put in the cage.  It was the completion of one round.  Then it began all over again with the next age group.

Sometimes life feels like a chicken scramble.  You are running around trying to catch up on the workload.  Trying to figure out life.  Trying to find who you are now.  Trying to stay on top of all the activities.  Trying to catch all the chickens for the day.  You are active but not always productive.  Productive but not always content.

You are striving to find peace and contentment in life, but the arena of life is filled with too many daily tasks to do – too many chickens.  You feel overwhelmed and think you need to catch them all.  You would like to escape for a while like some of those chickens who flew over the fence.  You are trying to control your world and those in it.  It feels like everything is your responsibility and you feel like you are doing it all alone.

My nephew, Wyatt, who is five years old was in the chicken scramble.  He is unable to walk on his own, so his stepmom held onto him around the waist and walked him in the arena to catch the chickens.  He caught four of them with the help of volunteers.  Wyatt was active and needed assistance.

God does not intend for you to figure everything out on your own and be in control.  You need assistance just like Wyatt to walk through life.  God does not want you to carry the worries and burdens of life by yourself.  The Psalmist recorded the Lord’s words – “Be still and know that I am God.”  Slowdown.  Take a breath.  Be still.  Be actively still.  This sounds like a contradiction, but it is not.  I found this phrase in a recent Our Daily Bread devotion.

To be actively still means you trust God and in faith give control of each situation of your life to God.  You obey God in what He calls you to do in the situation, but you accept that God is in charge.  You are active doing your part, and still while God does His part.  Your activeness is your obedience and surrender to God.  It is allowing God to carry you, lead you, hold you up just like Wyatt and still enjoy life to the fullest.  You are not alone.  Quit running with all the chickens and trying to do it all.  Be still.  Just do your part.  Catch your chickens and let others catch their own. 

Smack dab in the Memories

“Yet I will remember the covenant I made with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish an everlasting covenant with you.”  Ezekiel 16:60 NIV

Recently I visited Lakeside again and shared the memories of this place with my friend.  Lake Erie was beautiful as we watched the sunset and the sunrise on the pier.  Lakeside was where Annual Conference was held each June for the Methodist Church.  When I was a teenager, I was a youth delegate to the Conference.  It was where I was ordained as a pastor.

As I walked the streets of Lakeside, memories of the past filled my heart and mind. As we walked past where the fountain used to be, I was “smack dab” into the memory of a fifteen-year-old playing frisbee over the fountain with the Bishop.  We walked by the steps that lead into Hoover Auditorium, and I was “smack dab” into the memory of standing on these steps for the photo of my class before we were ordained.  We walked by the house where I had stayed each year, and the memory of my ordination party on that porch flooded my mind.  I was “smack dab” into the past.  I could visualize all the people and relive the moments of that awesome day.

Smack dab means to be exactly in that place.  Right at the moment to be precisely present.  It is to be in the middle of.  Places that we have experienced in the past bring back memories.  These memories become alive and vivid within us when triggered by being in the actual place or a similar experience or feeling.  For me, Lakeside brought back wonderful and very powerful memories of pivotal events of my life.  I remembered people, experiences, and relationships that are now just memories in my heart.  It was a joy to share these stories and to remember God’s blessings on my life.

But what if you find yourself “smack dab” in the middle of a place or situation that triggers a memory of pain or trauma?  You go to the hospital to visit someone, and you are smack dab into the memory of the death of your spouse and those intense emotions.  You go to the nursing home, and you remember your dear friend being in the same place.  Your mind goes back to that moment in the past and you relive the experience and the loss. 

You find yourself smack dab in the midst of the pain, hurt, sadness, and a terrible day.  Do you give in to the emotions and throw the whole day away?  Memory is a gift from God.  We enjoy the happy and pleasant memories and try to let the bad ones fade. It is giving yourself permission to feel the hurt and sadness and pain but not to stay in it.

While I was at Lakeside, I remembered being young and beginning my call into ministry.  I was excited at the time.  I remembered my dreams for ministry and what I thought my ministry career would be.  Now as I walked the streets of Lakeside, I realized my journey has been different than those early dreams.  Different is not bad, it is just different. I took different paths, but God has used me smack dab wherever I was.  I have learned to be smack dab in God’s Presence wherever I am.

So you may be smack dab in emotions you do not want to feel again.  You feel the loss, sadness, grief, changes, and a different chapter of life.  God has you smack dab in the midst of today.  What if you gave today a chance and you focused on the good of today?  The blessings instead of the mess.  You trusted God more and worried less.  You found something that made you smile.  You gave yourself permission to experience the memories and were grateful for the adventures and the relationships.

Sometimes you may prefer being anywhere else than where you currently are physically and emotionally.  The past memories seem to be better and less stressful than your current situation.  Remember, God was with you in the past even if you did not recognize His Presence. And the same God is smack dab in the middle with you in this current day.  He promises to always be with you.  God is right beside you.  God loves you right where you are no matter how you feel.  God allows you to remember because He wants you to be assured, He walked with you as a youth and continues to walk with you now.  God has never let go of your hand.

So, when you find yourself smack dab in the mess of today, focus on God’s presence.  He will comfort you in the sorrow of yesterday, give you hope for tomorrow, and most importantly, fill you with His Holy Spirit who gives you strength and encouragement for today – smack dab where you are!!

Your Modus Operandi

“I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.”  Psalm 139:14

I am left-handed so I complete tasks and do things a little differently than the majority of people who are right-handed.  For example, I tie my shoestrings differently.  I have been told that I make an extra wrap around when I tie.  I also hang towels with the open side on the left not the right side.  I place cups in the cabinet with the handle on the left.  I also have ways of doing tasks that are unique to me which have nothing to do with which hand is dominant.  For instance, shoes need to be straight and together on the floor or on a shoe rack.  Laundry needs to be done and put away before going to work or leaving the house in the morning.

We all have certain quirks about us or our way of doing something.  It is our modus operandi. It is a particular way or method of doing something especially that is characteristic of or well established.  It is who you are.  You have probably said and heard others say, “That’s just who I am.”  Some of our methods are learned behaviors from our environment while other things are just unique to the individual.  It is the way God make each person – unique with different qualities.

So what is your modus operandi when life changes unexpectantly?  When bad things happen to you or those around you?  When conflict happens? When someone is negative and wrongs you?  What is your established behavior and way of responding when life is not what you want or desire?  Do you blow up, fall apart, blame others, or deal with it differently?

For some people, it is a take charge attitude and an attempt to control the situation.  They try to fix it and become angry that God allowed it to happen.  They cannot trust even God to take care of the situation, so they take control to protect themselves from being hurt again.  They have defined life so that they need to be vigilant and dominate the situation or life will fall apart, wound, and treat you badly.  Nobody is going to take care of you, so you have to do it yourself.

For others, your modus operandi is to be afraid and worry when life changes.  Fear is in control.  Your anxiety escalates with every change.  You attempt to plan for everything that could happen and feel overwhelmed with all the possibilities.  You live in this heightened state most days assuming you are just an anxious person. 

Others of you operate out of an escape concept.  When life gets difficult and changes occur, you shut down and escape to what is familiar and comfortable.  It may be a habit of zoning out with TV, social media, games, food, drinking, or sleeping.  You do not like change, and therefore you do not want to face it.  You let someone else take charge and you just try to live oblivious to life.

You may be one that when faced with hurt and hardship and the tragedies of life, you just stay busy.  You will just work your way through it.  Not think about it but stay busy with work and the details of daily life.  If you work hard enough, you can avoid it, or it will just go away.

Most of the modus operandi concepts mentioned are well established but never really satisfy or create a sense of peace about the changes in life.  All the ones I have mentioned are based on trying to fix, work or do it on your own.  Others just keep us stuck, afraid, and going in circles.

I have come to recognize the unique way God created me and have embraced the me that I have become.  It is Ok to be who God created me to be.  I am not perfect and never will handle every situation correctly or with grace.  In this different life, I am establishing my modus operandi as first going to God with everything.  I am surrendering to God each day.  My method of doing anything is to talk with God first.  Oh, this is a process to get to this dependency upon God.  Instead of making plans and then asking God to bless them, I am trying to be intentional of going to God and asking for direction.

It is depending on God’s strength, not my own.  It is releasing anxiety, fear, and my need to control.  My modus operandi is changing and as it changes, my dependency on God increases as does my inner peace and contentment.  Try it!

People On The Path

“So I urge you now to live the life to which God called you.  Always be humble, gentle, and patient, accepting each other in love.”  Ephesians 4:1-2

I recently had lunch with my friend, Pat, and her two children.  Pat’s husband, Bill, died over a year ago, and I had the privilege of officiating at his service.  Pat has embraced trying to live into this different life, and she has used my book – Living In The Different – as her foundation to take steps forward on this grief journey.  Pat says that God keeps putting people on her path that are grieving.  She shares with them, listens to their grief, and recommends or gives them my book.  Pat’s encounters help her in her own grief journey.  God has given her comfort as she comforts others.  Grief equals love to Pat.  She shares Bill’s love that always remains in her heart with people on her path.

I have encountered a variety of people on my path in recent weeks.  I listened to a group of women who were grieving their husbands and felt the loneliness and emptiness of not having their person with them.  They were trying to figure out how to live in this different life.  They were encouraging of each other and shared their struggles and also their laughter.  It was good to be together without judgment knowing everyone in the room could relate and understand.  These are people on the path to draw closer – people who accept you and your grief and place no judgment.  They walk beside you on the path and give you hope and encouragement when you stumble or feel stuck.  They are with you on the path.

Then on the path was a person who complained and assumed rules were being broken.  I realized he was so focused on finding fault with others that he was not living his own life.  He was existing to judge others and complain.   At first, he irritated me, but then I was sad for him.  It is not how God wants us to live.  Some people on the path are not healthy emotionally for us and they do not want to move forward on the path.  These are the people we pray for and release them to God, we set a boundary around them, and let them be who they have chosen to be.  You cannot fix or change them.  You do not let their negativity consume you because they will have control over your thoughts.  I have learned to be kind but also quiet.

On the path, I witnessed the love and support of friends and church family.  They surrounded my friend whose wife had passed with the love of Jesus.  He is loved, and he loves those around him.  They are the body of Christ in action.  My friend states that he is blessed.  It is because of the love he and his wife had shared with others in the past that now he receives the fruit of his labor of love.

Then I experienced the joy of my nieces and nephews at a festival.  My nephew hugged me, and he was soaking wet.  He had been playing in the rain.  The rain delayed the parade and made others irritated, but not my nephew.  He played in it and embraced the rain.  It is a pleasure to encounter people on our path who love the simple things in life and dance in the rain instead of complaining about it.  These are people who make us smile, bring laughter to our hearts, and help us live in the current moment of life. Embrace these people who breathe life into you.

My weeks have been filled with a variety of people with whom I have shared the path of life.  Some were hurting and sad.  Some searching and confused.  Some hopeful and seeking purpose.  Some negative and judgmental.  Some joyful and at peace with life.  God was present in each encounter.  I am learning not to absorb someone else’s mood and attitude and focus more on God’s presence with me. 

We can all go quickly down the complaining, negative path with people, but I believe as we try to live into this different life, our encounters need to be different.  How are we signposts and guides to those we meet on the path?  I want to be a light of hope and joy, not a cloud of gloom and woe.  God calls us to live a life that is filled with gentleness, patience, and love.  Even in our own grief and sadness, we can be patient and kind.