Your Modus Operandi

You may be left-handed and complete tasks and do things a little differently than the majority of people who are right-handed.  For example, you may tie your shoestrings differently, hang towels with the open side on the left not the right side or place cups in the cabinet with the handle on the left.  You may also have ways of doing tasks that are unique and have nothing to do with which hand is dominant.  For instance, shoes need to be straight and together on the floor or on a shoe rack.  Laundry needs to be done and put away before going to work or leaving the house in the morning.

Each person has certain quirks or ways of doing something.  It is your modus operandi. It is a particular way or special method of doing something that is characteristic of you and well established.  It is who you are.  You have probably said and heard others say, “That’s just who I am.”  Some of the methods are learned behaviors from the environment while other things are just unique to the individual.  It is the way God makes each person – unique with different qualities.

So, what is your modus operandi when life changes unexpectantly?  When bad things happen to you or those around you?  When conflict happens? When someone is negative and wrongs you?  What is your established behavior and way of responding when life is not what you want or desire?  Do you blow up, fall apart, blame others, retreat, or deal with it differently?

For some people, it is a take charge attitude and an attempt to control the situation.  They try to fix it and become angry that it happened.  They cannot trust anyone, so they take control to protect themselves from being hurt again.  They have defined life so that they need to be vigilant and dominate the situation or life will fall apart, wound, or treat you badly.  Nobody is going to take care of you, so you have to do it yourself.

For others, your modus operandi is to be afraid and worry when life changes.  Fear is in control.  Your anxiety escalates with every change.  You attempt to plan for everything that could happen and feel overwhelmed with all the possibilities.  You live in this heightened state most days assuming you are just an anxious person. 

Others of you operate out of an escape concept.  When life gets difficult and changes occur, you shut down and escape to what is familiar and comfortable.  It may be a habit of zoning out with TV, social media, games, food, drinking, or sleeping.  You do not like change, and therefore you do not want to face it.  You let someone else take charge and you just try to live oblivious to life.

You may be one that when faced with hurt and hardship and the tragedies of life, you just stay busy.  You will just work your way through it.  Not think about it but stay busy with work and the details of daily life.  If you work hard enough, you can avoid it, or it will just go away.

Most of the modus operandi concepts mentioned are well established but never really satisfy or create a sense of peace about the changes in life.  All the ones mentioned are based on trying to fix, work or do it on your own.  Others just keep you stuck, afraid, and going in circles.

It is recognizing how you were made and embrace who you are.  Nobody is perfect nor will you handle every situation correctly or with grace.  It is establishing a healthy modus operandi.  It is releasing anxiety, fear and the need to control.  It is depending on One greater than yourself and praying each day for guidance.  It is seeking peace and contentment in life and not allowing the world to define you.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In the Different

Elaine will be leading a seminar – “Living Life Forward” on Saturday, March 21st from 9 AM to 12 pm at Trinity Evangelical Church on Malabar Drive in Upper Sandusky.  Everyone is welcome.

Living Intentionally

“I was going to eat healthier this year, but…” “I was going to keep the house clean and organized, but….”  You had good intentions, but no follow through.  The concept was good and you were motivated when you made the decision, but it is difficult to change the rut you are in.  To be intentional is to be deliberate with purpose and to have a plan.  You make choices that follow your values, beliefs, and goals when you are intentional.  You put thought into what you are doing and are mindful of your triggers and stumbling blocks. 

When you are living intentionally, you have focus and take action.  You create meaning and purpose to your life.  You are proactive instead of just letting things happen by accident.  When you lack focus, things that are not a priority or of importance tend to grab your attention and occupy your time.  You get lost and let life just happen around you.  Things pile up and overwhelm you because you did not intentionally decide your priorities and set a schedule and routine to complete these priorities.  You did not take ownership of your life but let society and circumstances create your life.

Let’s be intentional.  First, with your time.  You check your phone or watch mindless TV or scroll social media and get lost for hours without realizing it.  You lost those hours on something that brought no fulfillment or purpose, and guilt takes over.  It is beginning to set limits on things that are not essential and choosing where you spend your time.  What is important to you?  Choose to invest your time and energy in what matters most to you – what you value.

Be intentional in relationships.  When you say a person is important to you, make time for that person.  Be proactive and set a time to be together.  When you say, “I’m busy and don’t have time to get together” you have made stuff and tasks more important than relationships.

Life will pull you in all directions and influence you.  You need to make choices for yourself based on what you want in life, where your priorities are, who is important to you, and where you place your loyalties and values.  Be intentional in what you put in your head.  Set boundaries in movies, social media, what you read and listen to. 

If you want to live a healthier lifestyle, you need to be intentional in your choices.  It is choosing healthier food to bring into your home, healthier choices on the menu at a restaurant.  It is choosing daily movement and including it in your daily routine.  It is not deciding if you will, but just accepting movement and exercise as part of who you are daily.

Be intentional in your faith.  If you want to grow spiritually, you need to live your faith daily and be intentional in trusting God daily and not worrying about what might happen.  If you just let things happen, you will not focus on what will bring peace and contentment in your life.  You will only do what gets your attention – which is usually what is loudest and easiest.

If you want to acquire a new hobby or talent, you need to be intentional in setting aside time to learn and do it.  Make it a priority to write, draw, paint, play a sport or whatever will bring you enjoyment otherwise you will fill the time with things that eat up your time but have no value.

In being intentional, you will need discipline and accountability.  Be intentional – think before you speak, follow through on your commitments, be present in the moment, be intentional in your choices.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

Elaine will be leading a seminar – “Living Life Forward” on Saturday, March 21st from 9 AM to 12 pm at Trinity Evangelical Church on Malabar Drive in Upper Sandusky.  Everyone is welcome.

Are You Emotionally Well Hydrated?

You may be constantly reminded to stay hydrated and drink plenty of water daily.  Pop and alcohol do not count.  This will help maintain a healthy body and keep you from passing out and becoming dehydrated.  It is good to listen to your body and keep it well hydrated.  Water helps to purify your system and cleanse your body.  Water washes the outward part of your body and also cleanses the organs and hydrates your system. 

You can become emotionally depleted, too.  You try to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and feel it is your responsibility to fix and make everyone happy within your circle.  You stuff down your feelings and never share what is going on with anyone else because you think nobody will listen to you.  You accept the negativity around you as normal and live in a constant state of chaos and turmoil.  You are exhausted.  You feel that nobody cares.  You believe nobody knows you exist until you forget to do something they expected you to do.  You are drained, anxious, and feel unfulfilled in your life.

It is time to emotionally hydrate.  It is not as simple as drinking a glass or two of water, but it is as intentional.  It is recognizing what you need, what will fill you up and help you maintain a healthy emotional system.

Everyone needs words of affirmation.  Words that build up and validate you as a person.  The words need to be authentic and genuine.  It is surrounding yourself with people who are affirming and not tearing your down with a negative attitude.  To be validated means you have a sense of worth and purpose.  It is being listened to and accepted for your opinion, beliefs and values.

To listen is one of the highest forms of intimacy and respect.  When someone listens to you, they want to know you and have chosen you in that moment.  You become the most important person in the moment and all their attention is on you.  Listening is more than hearing words.  It is listening to body language, paying attention to movement, listening to the emotion of the words and truly seeing you. 

Real listening is choosing the other person and drawing them closer into your thoughts and reflections.  It is feeling heard and feeling loved.  When you feel loved, heard, and accepted you are being emotionally hydrated and then can share your emotions and feelings without judgment. 

To be emotionally hydrated involves self-care.  It is being proactive in replenishing your emotional energy.  It is taking time for yourself and giving yourself permission to rest and engaging in activities that restore and revive your soul.  It is finding balance in your life.  Remember, it is not selfish to take care of yourself.  You are the only one who makes yourself a priority.  You cannot care for others if you do not first take care of yourself.  Put good things into your mind and spirit.  Fill your thoughts with positive words.

Emotionally hydrating yourself includes rest.  Yes, physical rest is where you begin, but it is resting your thoughts.  Give yourself a break from reminding yourself all that you need to do and complete the day.  Be grateful for what you did but do not put guilt on yourself for not finishing every task on your list.  It was not meant to be completed today.  Give yourself grace.  Acknowledge your feelings, but do not absorb everyone else’s feelings and emotions.  Let go of assumptions.  Release the anxiety, and breathe in peace and rest. 

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In the Different

Elaine will be leading a seminar – “Living Life Forward” on Saturday, March 21st from 9 AM to 12 pm at Trinity Evangelical Church on Malabar Drive in Upper Sandusky.  Everyone is welcome.

Focused On Performance

Life is to be lived with purpose and simply with your focus on today.  Within each day you complete tasks, execute plans, and achieve successes.  Some days you just survive and function minimally.  Life has its ups and downs.  Where is your focus?  Who are you living and doing life for?

Some people focus on how their life looks to others.  Life becomes a performance – an act to demonstrate to others you have it all together and you look good.  Basically, you stage an act to prove to people who are not focused on you that you are strong, blessed, and can handle whatever happens in life.  Your life is like a TV show where you never see behind the scenes of what is really going on.

When you live in performance mode – you are pretending and existing in a fake life.  You appear to do everything the right way, follow all the rules, and look good on the outside.  But within, you are exhausted from the work of pretending to be OK when you are not.  Life is not fulfilling and relationships are shallow and empty.

Performance is not all negative.  You want to perform well in your work, school, sports, music, and complete tasks and achieve goals.  Sometimes though performance becomes so focused on tasks, goals, the next level of achievement that you never celebrate and enjoy what you are currently doing.  It is always future focused – how to get better – and you never fully celebrate the present and enjoy the moments of life.

This concept gets translated into your faith and relationships.  You have to achieve more and be the best or you will not be loved and accepted.  This is an untruth that creates a false narrative in your head.  You keep serving and doing more and more in hopes you will be accepted.  You never know when you have done enough to receive what you desire the most – the words of affirmation. You become exhausted and burned out.

Performance mode is overwhelming.  It is being able to find the balance.  It is doing your very best because of who you are, not to prove to someone else that you are worthy.  It is enjoying what you are doing so that it brings meaning and fulfillment to your life.  If you are doing something just because you think it will look good to others or because someone else wants you to do it, you will resent the relationship eventually.

Affirm yourself.  Believe in who you are and who you are becoming.  Learn to forgive yourself and let go of your past failures and mess ups.  Give yourself grace.  You are your own unique self.  Your life’s meaning and purpose is not defined by other people so what you do cannot be defined by them either.  Perform for an audience of One.  Be your genuine self but continue to grow and mature into all you were created to be.

Meeting the expectations of others all the time is exhausting.  You want to be liked and considered a person others enjoy being around.  Release the exhaustion of trying to do things that are not your skills and you do not enjoy.  Find enjoyment in life by being all God made you to be.  Do not allow others to define you.  Learn to enjoy your own company and like who you are.  Live in the now and find fulfillment in today.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

Elaine will be leading a seminar – “Living Life Forward” – Saturday, March 22nd from 9 am to 12 pm at Trinity Evangelical Church.  All are invited.  Just call the church to reserve your spot – 419-294-1535.

Are You Talking To Me?

Conversation is a two-way talk in which news, ideas, and care is shared.  It can be informal and just a chitchat or a deep heart-to-heart connection. Sometimes one person vents to another just to have someone to listen and not fix.  The person just wants a listening ear and a place of acceptance without judgment.  Other times the conversation can be an intense sharing or brainstorming session.  Conversations can be on the surface about the weather or the latest headlines in the news.  The most meaningful talks are ones where there is mutual respect with sharing of thoughts, feelings, and personal life.

Mutual dialogue is the key to a healthy conversation.  It is talking and listening to understand each other.  It is not just waiting for the other person to pause or take a breath so you can jump in and talk.  Communication is accepting some days you listen more than talk because of the needs of another person or the situation. 

It is not just asking questions to gain information or prying into the other person's personal life.  You gain information in every dialogue, but it is not to be shared with others unless given permission or requested.  When someone tells you a story about their life and struggles, it is their story to tell not yours.

When a person asks you a question in your conversation and it is not something you want to share, you can politely decline to answer.  Set boundaries in what you share and the topics you want to discuss, especially in public.  You may not want to share in a group setting what you would in private with a person.  Respect the privacy of others.  If you are the person asking the questions, it may feel like you are interrogating to be in the know and not really caring about the individual.  Ask because you care and express concern and compassion.

Remember, conversation is mutual caring about each other and wanting to share with another person.  For your mental health, learn to set boundaries in your sharing.  Know who does not keep things private and do not share with them what you do not want broadcasted to others.  Remind yourself that being a private person is who you are and that is fine.  Choose carefully who you vent your feelings and thoughts to because not everyone will abide by your boundaries. 

When sharing a story, give the short version with the facts.  Then if the person you are talking with asks you questions and is interested in the details, then share the total story.  You have been in conversations with people who go on and on with the details of a story and you just want them to get to the point.  So do not be that person to other people.  If it bothers you, it will irritate someone else when you do it.

Relationships are about having conversations.  You cannot be in relationship with people if you do not talk together and are interested in each other’s lives.  There will be certain people who you share the depth of your heart with and others with whom you only share day-to-day experiences.  Choose wisely.  Recognize not everyone wants a dialogue, some people just want an audience.  Sit with them and listen but don’t share your heart because it will not be respected.  Share your heart in prayer with the One who listens and responds.  Find people who want to share and listen and challenge you while respecting your values and views.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In the Different

Check out Elaine’s weekly blog on her website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

So What Are Your Fears?

Many children are afraid of the dark and need a night light to help deal with what lurks in the darkness.  Some people are afraid of heights, elevators, bridges, animals, water, needles, flying, spiders, public speaking and the list is endless of what people fear.  These are commonly known as phobias with each having its own name.  Some phobias may seem strange to you, but they bring intense fear to others.

Many of these phobias can be addressed by facing them if you choose or by just choosing not to do them or be around the things that cause fear.  If you want to overcome a fear, it is taking small steps of exposure to achieve the goal.

There are also fears within people that are difficult to admit even to themselves.  You may have some outward fears that you talk about and even laugh about with other people.  When you say you are afraid of spiders, people laugh and others relate to those feelings.  But the fears that are deep within you are intense and leave you feeling negative about yourself.  You are even afraid to share them with others out of fear of being rejected and made to feel your fears are not valid.

You may have the fear of failure.  You are afraid to try new experiences, jobs, relationships or anything that may cause you to look like a failure.  To you failure is fatal, and it is better not to try. You feel like you messed up and let other people down and can never face them.  But failure just means it did not work that time and next time you will try it differently.  In failure, you learn what not to do and what did not work for you.  Failure is only fatal when you stop trying and do not learn from it. 

Some of you fear not being enough.  You fear you do not matter.  You fear that no matter how hard you try and no matter how much you do, it is never enough.  Your sense of self-worth is based on doing enough and if you fail to meet those expectations, you do not receive acceptance.  You fear rejection.

Some people fear being abandoned – not just left alongside the road – but not being loved by those who mean the most to them.  You fear they will leave you if you do not meet their every need.  You wear yourself out to the point of exhaustion, but they still are not satisfied and criticize you.  You fear you will never be good enough and never be loved.

Fears create all types of thoughts in your head and negative views of yourself.  When your focus is the fear, it controls you.  So, how can you overcome these fears?  First, it is admitting the fear and naming it and how it controls your thoughts and behaviors.  Once you name it and not try to hide it, you can start loosening the grip of control.  Next, it is facing the fear and beginning to recognize why you have this fear.  Then you begin to desensitize yourself to the fear.  It is slowly taking steps of accepting yourself for who you are.  It is believing you have value and worth.  It is not conditioned on what you do or how others perceive you.

Fear loses it control when faith enters.  Faith is a trust that Someone greater than yourself is with you and watching over you.  Fear loses control when you face it and do not believe it is bigger than your faith.  Release your fear and take steps to trust.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

Elaine will be leading a seminar, “Living Life Forward” on Saturday, March 21st from 9 am to 12 pm at Trinity Evangelical Church in Upper Sandusky.  Everyone is welcome. No fee. Register by calling the church office 419-294-1535.

Gaining Control of Anger

Anger is a quick reactive emotion.  It is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility.  Anger can be milder and described as irritation or being displeased, but it can become intense with rage, temper, and wrath.  There are a wide range of emotions categorized under the name of anger.  You can be irked, exasperated, infuriated, peeved, ticked off.

Anger is usually triggered by feeling you were treated unfairly, wronged, threatened, insulted, or not recognized nor heard.  Anger is a physical emotion that is usually expressed in a loud voice, racing heart, elevated blood pressure and a flushed face.  It is recognizable in a person.  Your body becomes tense and is prepared to fight.  Mentally, a person is hyper-focused on what or who has caused the feelings of anger.  You react and want to immediately do something about the cause of the anger.

Anger is not always wrong.  Anger can be a response to injustice or someone being wronged.   It is channeling anger for good, that is, to make a difference in the unjust situation.  Underlying anger are other emotions like fear, hurt, shame, and frustration.  One can become angry when you feel helpless to change a situation.  Anger comes out in relationships when you feel disappointed, used, or ignored.  Sometimes a person reacts with anger to project their own guilt and shame onto another person.  Anger comes out when needs and expectations are not met.  For some people, anger is a result of grief and sadness.

Now that some aspects of anger have been defined, how do you control anger and not allow anger to control you and your relationships?  Anger can alienate you because of your explosiveness.  People choose not to be around others who are always angry and never know when the anger will come out. 

Anger is a physical emotion, so it needs to be released physically.  It is trying to walk away from a situation before the anger takes control.  It is also not stuffing it down inside which will cause other physical problems and not knowing when you will blow up because you have stuffed so much down inside.  Usually, you blow up at the simplest of things which do not merit the intensity of the explosion.

Take time to speak out loud your anger – talk it out or pray it out.  Name it.  Once you name it, the power of the cause of anger is defused.  When you walk away, the situation does not control your thoughts and attention.  Take some deep breaths and calm your body and mind.  Focus on what caused your anger and why you felt angry.  Name anything that may have triggered it.

Next ask yourself, “Will it matter tomorrow?”  “Am I being selfish?”  “Do I have any control or power to change it?”  “What is my role and responsibility?”  If you need to have a conversation with a person that caused or triggered your anger, first write down what you want to say.  This will slow you down and help you choose the words so as not to make the other person defensive or you becoming accusatory. Write down how the person and situation made you feel and possible solutions.

Then let it go.  You may need to punch a pillow or punching bag, run, workout or do something physical to release the built-up anger inside of you.  Do not hold on to anger because it will turn into bitterness and hatred and lead to destructive behaviors.  Deal with the cause and release it. 

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

www.livinginthedifferent.com

Don't Believe Everything You Think

This phrase – “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” was on a sign beside a church in town.  Your thoughts can be all over the place.  Some are true while others are based on your fears, anxieties, what ifs, and what you create in your head from what you have seen and heard.  Thoughts can be quick, or they can linger in your head.  You can ruminate on them or quickly dismiss them as meaningless.  It is your choice.

It is learning to process your thoughts and discern what is true and what has wondered into your head that is just random.  Some thoughts are fleeting thoughts that need to just run right out of your head and never return.  Some thoughts are wild and crazy so just laugh at them and release them.

Sometimes your thoughts are focused on what you did wrong in the past and are filled with shame, guilt, and regret.  Your thoughts keep telling you that you are worthless, not good enough, and nobody wants to be around you or even cares about you.  The thoughts of what you did in the past may be true, but do not believe that your thoughts have to stay there.  Forgive yourself and change your thought focus to who you are becoming.  Yes, that was you, but do not believe your thoughts that you cannot change and move forward.  Do not define yourself by your negative thoughts.

You think nobody cares.  You think nobody likes you, and everybody is talking about you.  The reality is people are more focused on themselves than on you.  Your thoughts are miscommunicating with reality.  When you see someone and they give you a strange look, your thoughts assume they are judging you.  Your thoughts can create quite a story and make you believe it is true.

Learn to stop your thoughts before they start to control your actions and behaviors.  When a thought comes into your mind, quickly evaluate it.  Does it have purpose and value and is it positive, or is it negative and pulls you down?  Release the negative thoughts by telling yourself there is no room in your head for negativity and give them to God.  Center yourself on what is good and healthy not just in your eating, reading, watching but in your thinking.

When your thoughts go down the “rabbit hole” of fear and create scenarios of what could happen, you begin to believe the thoughts and work yourself up with anxiety and fear.  Stop blocking is a way to stop your thoughts.  Picture in your head an actual “road closed” sign.  You cannot go down this thought road.  So, you stop your thoughts before you begin to develop them into a full situation that has not and probably will not actually happen.

Begin your day with positive words that comes from Scripture, a book, or positive statements you found on Facebook or Pinterest.  When those negative thoughts come into your head – speak these positive words to dispel and stop the direction of your thoughts.

Remind yourself what is true.  You are forgiven and loved.  Remind yourself what you are assuming in your head has no evidence of being true.  Learn to stop your thoughts by bringing yourself into the present moment and not letting your thoughts run free down an unknown road.  Talk to yourself.  Do a physical task to change your focus.  Sing or listen to a song to give your thoughts a different beat.

Thoughts can come randomly into your head.  You have control on where you linger and what you dismiss and release.  Your thoughts control your behavior and attitude.  Think about what is good, right and true.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

Elaine will be leading a seminar “Living Life Forward” at Trinity Evangelical Church on Saturday, March 21st from 9 am to 12 pm. Mark your calendars now.  It is free.  Just call the church to register.

Are You Feeling Mentally Exhausted?

The holidays are over, and a new year has begun.  Are you beginning the year exhausted, not just physically but mentally as well?  Exhaustion comes physically from using your body past its limits and not resting or taking breaks from your vigorous schedule.  The body will tell you that you have overworked it, and if you do not rest, the body will make you physically sick to force the rest.

But mental exhaustion is not seen nor easily recognized.  It will make your body tired, too.  Mental exhaustion is caused by a variety of factors.  One of the reasons is taking on responsibilities and roles that are not yours nor having the gifts or abilities to do them.  You use more mental energy trying to figure things out.  The way to deal with this type of exhaustion is to ask for help and find people who have the ability to walk with you through it.

When you live in the expectations of others and always try to please everyone you will become mentally exhausted.  The expectations will be impossible to meet, and you live your life how others want you to live.  You are never yourself nor do you take care of yourself and your needs.  In this new year, begin to release other people’s control on your mental health.  Accept people for who they are and set boundaries of what you will do and not do.  Do not assume you have to make everyone else happy at your own expense.  Be realistic about what you can do.  You are not defined by someone’s perspective or view.  You are defined by who you were created to be. 

Be you.  Live your life with boundaries.  You do not need to absorb other people and their emotions.  You were not created to fix other people.  Do not allow others to control you with their expectations.

Another way to release mental exhaustion is letting go of making excuses and trying to explain.  Your thoughts are in overdrive trying to create these excuses and explain why you cannot do something.  You become exhausted going over and over in your head whether the excuse will be accepted and does it sound valid.  Just state the facts and simplify your thoughts.  If you do not want to do something, you do not need to make an excuse or come up with an acceptable excuse.  Just say “no.”  Then release yourself from any guilt.

You may be exhausted from the guilt you have placed on yourself for not doing everything you expect yourself to do.  You are putting a load on yourself you were never meant to carry.  Ask for help when you need it.  Release things out of your control.  It is not your job to save the world.

Another cause for exhaustion is your anxiety and fear.  You worry about what could happen, how others perceive you, if you did enough, what you should have said, and a million other worries.  Your thoughts never stop, and you wake up in the night wondering if you did enough.  You may not be sleeping well, which adds to the physical and mental exhaustion.  Your brain needs rest.

Make yourself and your mental health a priority in this new year.  Release what is not your responsibility.  Live within realistic expectations of yourself.  Ask for help when the load becomes too heavy.  Pray and discern what is really important.  Your value is not in doing more.  Your value and worth is being the best you that you were created to be.  Give yourself rest physically and mentally.  Find ways to relax your thoughts. 

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

www.livinginthedifferent.com

Choose Your Attitude

“Do you need an attitude adjustment?”  “You sure have an attitude today.”  “Watch that attitude.”  You may have said these statements, or someone may have spoken them to you.  Attitude is a way of thinking or feeling that reflects a person’s behavior.  Your attitude is expressed in how you react to a situation and what you are inclined to do.  It is based on how you see life, your values, and your point of view.

Attitudes are either negative or positive and are usually expressed in some type of body language or non-verbal movement such as eye rolling or a laugh and smile.  Attitude is a choice.  You choose how you view life and how you react to situations and people.

Attitude reflects your outlook on life.  Some people see themselves as victims and life is out to get them.  Nothing goes right or is ever good, and everyone is against them.  If this is you, then your predominate attitude will be negative, reactive, and you see no joy or hope in life.  While the circumstances in life may not have been entirely your choice, it is a choice how you act and behave.

If your attitude is more positive and upbeat, you do not let the circumstances of life control you.  You choose joy and look for the good in life and in other people.  You do not live in a fantasy world or ignore reality; it is that you just choose how you react and deal with what life gives you.  You choose joy as an attitude and do not let situations and people control you.

As the new year begins, this is a good time to make different choices.  Yes, resolutions and goals are usually made and quickly broken in the new year.  What if this year, you choose to adjust your attitude and outlook toward life?  You decide to choose not to be reactive but more proactive in dealing with situations.  Reactive is usually a quick response to something that frustrated you and triggered a negative response in words or actions.  To be proactive is to first admit that there are people and situations you allow to affect your attitude and behavior.  You acknowledge it and not deny your feelings.  And then you make a plan to change how you deal with the inevitable situations.

Learn to pause, take a deep breath, and say a short prayer before responding.  When dealing with people, it is accepting people for who they are and not giving them power and control over your attitude.  Do not throw more negativity on an already negative person.  When you choose to respond differently, you change the only thing you can change – your attitude and behavior.  You may not change the other person, but you did not add to the drama.

When you find yourself in a situation not of your own choosing or have to interact with people you prefer not to be with but are required to, be proactive and decide to change your mood, grumbling, and resentment.  Choose to find something good.  Choose to interact with joy.  Choose a person to talk with and ask them questions about things the person is interested in.  Give yourself a purpose and focus other than having an attitude and being miserable.

You have power to change how you react and interact.  Choose to find good in situations and keep your attitude in check.  Being positive and finding good makes life much more pleasant for you and those around you.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

Elaine will be leading a seminar “Living Life Forward” on Saturday, March 21st at Trinity Evangelical Church in Upper beginning at 9 AM.  Mark your calendars now.  More information to follow.

Word for the Year

As the new year approaches, take time to reflect on this year – vacations, accomplishments, family additions, loss of loved ones, difficulties, and challenges.  It is good to pause and think about the year and even write down some of the highlights and changes.  It is being grateful for the blessings and to give thanks you have made it through another year.  The year has mingled joys and sorrows and has been filled with days of struggles and days of growth and laughter.  You are also filled with a mixture of emotions and anticipation of what the new year will bring.

For those of you who have lost a loved one this year, I am so sorry for your loss.  The new year brings another intense moment of grief as you realize this will be the first year without your loved one.  Life is different, and the new year will come with loneliness, sadness, and emptiness without your loved one.  It is knowing life will be different and learning how to live in this different life, knowing the love from your loved one is part of your foundation.

The new year is usually a time of setting goals and resolutions to be accomplished in the year.  This can be overwhelming when you attempt to make changes that you know should happen, but you also know how difficult it is to follow through with the resolutions.  In the past you may have failed within days of the new year and quit trying.  Anxiety and depression therefore can be related to writing resolutions and failing so quickly.

How about a new approach this year?  Choose a word for 2026.  A word that will keep you focused on your goals and direction for life.  It is a word that can challenge you to grow and develop in your personal life and in your faith.  Your word can help guide you in making decisions and choices in the year.  It also can assist you in choosing what you read, listen to and what you put into your life because your choices focus on your word.  For example, over the past few years, here are some of the words I have chosen – Different, Light, Simplify, Adventure, Surrender, Peace, Listen, Discern. 

You are now thinking, “How do I find my word?”  Ask yourself, “What am I seeking in my life?”  “What do I need in my life?”  When you sit and ponder life, where is your focus?  It is seeking peace and contentment in life and working toward fulfilling that goal.  Choosing a word also simplifies your focus.  Just one word.  Pray about the direction for your life and a word that will guide you.

Once you choose your word, look up the definition.  You can even google the definition or actually use a dictionary.  Then find Bible verses and positive statements written using your word.  You could keep a journal of your findings and write how the word is helping you define your life and growth forward in life.

While resolutions and goals are great, they can also overwhelm and cause guilt when you fail to meet your own expectations.  Simplify your life with a word or phrase that can be your guide.  Allow your faith to guide you in your choice and how you live out your word.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

www.livinginthedifferent.com

The Tune of Your Spirit

Music is the universal language, and it touches your soul.  You hear a tune, and you immediately know the song even if it is sung in a different language.  Christmas music has a spirit all its own.  It brings back memories and events from your past.  It touches deep within the heart and reaches the inner child.  You sing with the music either out loud or in your head sometimes without realizing it.

You may be tired of the Christmas carols that have been playing since November 1st.  Sometimes you just tune them out without truly listening to the words of hope, joy, peace, and love found in the songs of Christmas that tell the meaning of the season.  God so loved the world, that He came in the form of a baby to be the Savior of the world.

What is the tune of your spirit this Christmas?  A tune is a melody or theme – it is what is inside of you that guides you.  To be in tune is to make an adjustment.  Is your attitude and outlook one of negativity with a “humbug” spirit for Christmas?  You just want the season to be over and have no desire to celebrate with family.  These feelings may come from loss and sadness in your life.  It may come from not enjoying life, or you financially do not have the ability to give what you think is required of you or even what you want to give.  You see the joy of others and feel none of it within you.  You feel out of tune with your own spirit.

This may mean you have lost focus.  The Christmas season has lost focus in society.  Christmas is about giving – not all the material stuff – Christmas is about God giving His Son, Jesus, to be the Savior of the world.  God comes among us to be the perfect sacrifice for the redemption of sin.  The Spirit of Christmas is in the songs that share this story of love and grace.

So how does your Christmas spirit get in tune?  It is adjusting what Christmas means to you.  It is time to simplify not compete and fall into the trap of overspending and believing you can buy happiness.  By the end of the day, no Christmas present really satisfies and fills your spirit with lasting joy.

The joy comes not in circumstances and possessions or anything tangible, but it comes in being content and loved.  Joy comes in the simple pleasures of life like being with those you love and receiving the love that comes down at Christmas in Jesus.

Maybe it is time to really listen to the words of those Christmas songs that are in your head – “Joy to the word, the Lord is come!”  “Hark! The herald angels sing, “Glory to the new born King.” “Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright round yon virgin mother and child.” “O come, let us adore him, Christ the Lord.”

Adjust your focus and simplify your spirit.  Focus on enjoying the moments.  Sing the Christmas songs and listen to the words.  Turn off the TV and sit with your loved ones around the tree and read the Christmas story and share memories.  Look at the lights around town.  Go to Christmas Eve worship.  Your focus need not be on all the stuff and tasks and expectations that get your spirit out of tune.  Tune your spirit to the love that came down at Christmas. Merry Christmas!

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

www.livinginthedifferent.com

Hallmark or Christmas Vacation Family?

There are no perfect families.  Even Hallmark movies have a conflict written into the script, but it is resolved by the end of the movie.  Not all situations work out that quickly.  It is not living in unrealistic expectations but an acceptance for who your family is.  You cannot change people.  You can only encourage and sometimes challenge them to try something different.  You can also pray for them.

As a family, focus on your common ground - you have gathered to celebrate the season and to acknowledge you are family.  When you get together, you admit that you are related.  You have differences, but you have a connection.  It is learning to communicate and not just assuming someone will be negative or reactive.  Get to know your family for who they are, not who you think they are or want them to be.

Acceptance is key.  It is loving a person for who they are and encouraging them to be all God created them to be.  It is forgiving and not living in the past mistakes and hurts.  You cannot change what happened, but you can choose not to keep bringing it up.  Sometimes it is also accepting that a family member has not changed or even wants to change and putting a healthy boundary for yourself.

You may not like the tattoo, the haircut, or the clothes.  You may disagree politically or spiritually and have different tastes in music and cars.  But you are family and are attempting to be together during this holiday season.  It is being willing to listen without judgment, ask questions to learn more about why your family member has the tattoo and believes what they believe.  It is being willing to share and listen and to even agree to disagree.

It is finding things to enjoy together.  Focus on the simple things of life.  Play a game, put together a puzzle, take a walk, look at the clouds, and hundreds of other simple things that will connect you and help you enjoy the present moment with a family member.

Don’t compare your family to other families.  Your family will be different.  You only see the outward appearance of other families, and you know the depth of your family and what is hidden from the public. 

Enjoy the moments with your family.  Find family members that you connect with and spend time with them.  Be grateful for the gift of family.  They may not be who you want them to be, but they are yours.  Family does not have to be blood related either.  Family are the people you choose to share life with and who love you for who you are and accept your faults and forgive you when you mess up.

Merry Christmas!  Celebrate! Jesus Christ is born.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

www.livinginthedifferent.com

Step In Step Out

In the holiday season, there are more social events and times to be with people from the community, your co-workers, and family.  People tend to come together to celebrate the season who usually do not interact socially.  Some of you enjoy these gatherings and thrive on conversation and crowds.  Others of you dread this time of year and would prefer the comfort of your home and a good Hallmark movie.

Either way, this time of year brings people together to celebrate.  Let’s refine our communication skills and our purpose in our interactions.  First, for all the extroverts – it is not all about you nor is it your role to fix everyone and share your words of wisdom on every subject.  For you introverts, to prevent people from asking you questions, ask the questions first.  Prepare in your head a few questions and let the extroverts talk.  You get to listen and smile.

 Both social and not so social people can use the “step in step out” way of being involved.  You “step in” to the event or gathering and be totally present in the moment.  You do not bring with you past experiences or fears.  You accept people for who they are in the moment with no agenda to fix them or avoid them.  You listen, share if you desire.  Participate in the activities as an adventure.  Then you “step out.”  You release the people and complete the event.  You give thanks for the moment.

For those of you in the midst of grief and loss, this is a tool to assist you in situations that seem too difficult to maneuver at this time.  You know you need to participate, but it seems too overwhelming.  First, you tell yourself that you will step in for a period of time and you set the time frame - maybe a half hour or an hour.  You observe, listen, respond with brief statements and then step out.  You need not share how you are doing with people who care but your grief is not their focus.  You do not need to absorb their lives or lack of understanding.

Anxiety may tell you that this is impossible to do.  Anxiety focuses on what could happen or go wrong and builds as it works through all the possibilities.  Step in is only focused on the moment and you are not responsible for anyone else or how they react.  That is just who they are today. When you step in, your focus is where you currently are, and you do not need to bring anything with you emotionally.  You pause those feelings and fears, and you experience the present moment.  Step out gives you permission to leave so your anxiety has no fear of what to do next.  You just step out.

You can do this with conversations too.  You step in and talk and when you do not want to answer questions, you step out of that direction of the conversation and redirect it yourself.  Or you totally step out and defer to someone else.  Do not give people power over what you share.  It is your choice.

Step in Step out gives you permission to enjoy events and celebrations with no long-term commitment both physically and mentally.  You just take in the moment without past fears or future worries.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

How to Listen with Grace

When someone tells you something you already know, how do you respond?  Do you say, “Yes, I already knew that.  You don’t have to tell me again.”  You immediately express your knowledge and are quick to let the other person know your superiority.  Your focus is on yourself and your ability to remember and be in the know.  You do not want someone else to be smarter than you.  You put down the other person or quickly shut them down.

Let’s change the response to being more positive.  “Thank you for telling me.”  Or “Yes, that’s interesting.”  You give the person the joy of sharing their information and knowledge.  You keep to yourself what you already know, and you allow the other person to feel good about sharing with you.

Are you quick to let another person know that they have shared the story with you previously and you do not want to hear it again?  “Yes, you already told me that.”  The person continues telling you even though you have acknowledged that this is repetitive.  You become irritated and annoyed.  You do not want to hear the story again.  Let’s take a different approach.  It is giving the person grace.  Memory issues may be involved, or the person just enjoys the story and the memory.  It may define who the person is and what life used to be.

 When you were younger, you may have been quick to discount your parents and grandparents telling stories from their childhood.  You thought they were old and outdated stories.  Now you wish you would have listened to and remembered those stories.  You have an opportunity to listen differently now.  Look for the value in what a person says.  A person’s words and stories reveal who they are, what is important to them, and the value they place on their past and their relationships.

Let’s go back to how you deal with someone who continually repeats stories and only talks about themselves.  It may be a person in your family, your spouse, a dear friend, someone with whom you share life.  You cannot walk away from them.  The person has not changed in all your interactions with them.  You may have tried to share your similar experience only to have them go back to their story and not acknowledge what you shared.  Before you get angry and upset at them, try a different approach.

Give grace.  Listen and ask them questions about what they are sharing.  Engage yourself into the story.  Then in your head tell your own memory or experience that was triggered by their sharing.  It is a self-talk or God-talk your way through.  This way your story is not discarded by anyone, but you have the joy of remembering it and sharing it with God who always cares.  You can smile and the other person thinks their story brought the happiness. 

This is not a way to ignore the other person but a way to deal with the repetitive stories and the self-centeredness of another person.  You know the person will not listen to your version so why get hurt by them.  Share it within your heart and relive your own memory. 

Check out Elaine’s books on her website – www.livinginthedifferent.com.  Great Christmas gifts.  Also available at Tea Story in Upper.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

Attitude of Gratitude

This is the season of Thanksgiving.  It is a time to give thanks for the blessings of life, and a time to gather with friends and family. Thanksgiving is filled with food, family, and football.  But in reality, it is a time to pause and reflect on your attitude and outlook on life.  Is your attitude one of being grateful for the blessings, the struggles, and the gift of life?

Yes, being grateful is a choice.  It is giving thanks in all circumstances and finding good even in the tough struggles of life.  It is recognizing there is good in life and acknowledging the source of goodness.  Your attitude defines how you see life and if you see the good.  An attitude of gratitude means you have an appreciation for the simple things of life and being kind is your motto. 

Some people have an attitude, right?  They are sarcastic and make comments that put other people down.  They react and get upset at the most trivial things and feel slighted if they are not consulted or the focus.  Their sense of gratitude is having everything given to them whether material possessions or attention.  When asked what they are thankful for, they begin to tell you their problems and are negative with a focus on what they do not have and need.  They are not who you want to sit beside at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

An attitude of gratitude involves your beliefs, your convictions, your perspective and point of view on life.  Your attitude is the way you think and feel which is expressed in your behavior.  Gratitude is a positive outlook on the blessings of life.  It is not just a feeling, but it is how you respond to life. 

The world is negative and focused on worldly possessions, believing the more you have and the more popular you are, the better life will be.  This does not make you grateful but hateful and fearful.  You always are trying to accumulate more to find happiness.  You rarely are grateful because it is never enough.

It is time to retrain the brain to have an attitude of gratitude.  It is being grateful for what you have and not focused on what you do not have.  It is seeing the good in a world of evil and hate and brokenness.  It is daily being thankful that you woke up, you are alive, you have resources to live, you have breath, you are loved, and that God is good and that God cares about you.

Your attitude is known through your behavior.  It is changing how you express yourself and what you do so that being grateful shines through to others.  It is a change of heart and change of focus.  There are ways to live out this attitude of gratitude in your daily life.  Be kind to others.  Kindness goes a long way.  You do not need to say everything you think or condemn another person for their different beliefs or different way of life.  It is being kind and respectful.  It is saying “thank you” to others and to God.  You are blessed.  It is giving to others from these blessings.  Give at your church, to organizations that are helping others, put food in the blessing boxes around town, visit people in nursing homes and who are home alone.  The list is endless in how you can give to others.  When you are grateful for what you have, you will want to share with others.  Being grateful and focusing on giving to others helps your depression and anxiety.  It changes your focus from yourself to others.

Be thankful for the simple things of life too. 

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

It Does Not Really Matter to Me

“What do you want for dinner?”  “I don’t care.”  “What restaurant do you want to go to?”  “It doesn’t matter to me.”  “Do you want to go for a walk now.”  “I don’t know.”

You have had these types of conversations.  It may sound like a person is indecisive and defers to the other person to make the decision.  Deferring can mean that you value and accept the other person's decisions, and you usually agree with them.  It may also mean that you have no preferences and would rather let someone else make the decision.  It may also mean that you do not want to make the other person upset and cause any conflict.

Sometimes it can be frustrating if you never express your preferences and always say it does not matter to you.  Does it really matter?  It may not matter when it comes to food choices, but it may matter in other decisions in life.  If you allow others to decide for you, you cannot complain about their choice.  You were given the opportunity to choose, but you did not take it.

Maybe it is being more concise in your response.  Today you may not have a preference, but you may on another occasion.  So, respond, “Today, I have no preference.  Go ahead and make the decision on this one.”  You are living in the present and expressing that right now you have no preference, but it is not how every future choice will be.

It is being aware of your phrase usage.  The phrase – “I don’t care” – assumes you do not care about the person or being with them.  Yes, someone may take it to this extreme.  What you assume in your head to be a polite way of being nice and letting the other person make the choice, can become a negative put down by the other person.  To promote conversation, you could say, “Let’s talk about some of our options.”

The other phrase – “It doesn’t matter to me” – can be interpreted as you could care less about what the other person wants to do.  What they are suggesting has no value or importance to you.  You are indifferent toward what the other person has placed value upon; you are dismissing it as unimportant.  Sometimes when this is the response, the phrase – “never mind” – is spoken and friction has been created.  A more positive response is, “I have no ideas right now, what are your suggestions?”

Another phrase used “That’s OK” – says that what someone did or said was fine with you when it really was not.  You downplay it because you do not want to cause any conflict.  If someone apologizes and you say, “that’s OK” – was it really?  Say instead, “Thank you.  I accept your apology.”

You speak phrases that may not reflect how you feel.  It is being more direct and paying closer attention to what you say and how you say it.  Everyone hears through their own filters, interpretations and experiences.  Slow yourself down and put thought to your words.  Listen more.  Pray before speaking. What is the person really asking?  What do you want to do?  Define what matters.  If you do not have a preference, then state that you trust the other person’s decision and will enjoy whatever they choose.

If a topic matters to you, learn how to share it directly, honestly, and meaningfully. Life matters.  Live life like it matters to you.

Check out Sturtz’ her books and blog on her website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

Dealing With The Holidays

As you turn the calendar to November, the holiday season becomes the focus of stores and your thoughts.  The Fantasy of Lights displays are starting to be created in the Harrison Smith Park.  Hallmark Christmas movies are beginning, and Christmas music is heard in the distance.  But maybe you are dreading the holiday season this year.  It could be because of the loss of a loved one this past year, a new season of life, or changes that have happened this past year.

You recognize life is different this year.  You cannot re-create past holidays because life is not the same.  Holidays can be a tough time for a variety of reasons.  Memories are good, but memories can also be painful with loss and changes.  Loneliness is more intense during the holidays.  You watch movies where families are together, and the celebrations are picture perfect.  Your friends share their family plans, and you feel more isolated and alone.

If you or people around you have lost a loved one this past year, the holidays will be different from now on.  You will experience sadness and tears.  Do not avoid these feelings or attempt to fake it.  Allow the emotions to come and go.  It will hurt, but you will also have good moments and make new memories.  You still have people around you that love you.

Develop a plan.  You decide now what you want to do and what you cannot do right now.  Be honest with yourself.  Prioritize what is really important.  You do not have to do everything like you did in the past.  Ask for help.  Simplify.  What is really important to you about the holidays?  Be flexible and give yourself time to adjust to this new way of experiencing life.  If you are not ready to be with everyone and do all the traditions, give yourself permission not to this year.

For some of you, the traditions are important, and you want to do them for the sake of the rest of the family.  Know you may cry and that is fine.  There is an emptiness because loved ones are not there to celebrate with you.  But you can still gather and celebrate and remember.

Focus on the true meaning of Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Do not allow the media and social platforms to dictate your holiday.  Thanksgiving is a time to focus on your blessings.  It is a time to remember and give thanks for your loved ones and for those who have come before you.  It is a time to give thanks to those who began our country and persevered through.  It is a time to give thanks to God for the blessings of life.  For you, it is a time to give thanks for your loved one and for God walking with you through the changes of life.  Christmas is the celebration of God coming into the world through the birth of Jesus.  God comes to be with us – Emmanuel.

Simplifying and going back to the true meaning of Thanksgiving and Christmas is a great plan for this year.  It changes the focus from your loss to the purpose of the Holiday Season.  Enjoy the moments and keep your focus.  Even if you have not experienced the loss of a loved one, it may be time to focus on the true meaning of the season and to enjoy a simpler celebration.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

Being In The Know

Is it important to you to be the first person to know and have the knowledge of what someone did or said?  Do you feel angry or upset when someone else knows the scoop before you do?  It makes you feel important and even better than others because you know something about someone else that nobody else knows yet.

Some people are quick to find out and quick to share “the dirt” on others even before knowing all the facts.  This is a form of gossip – sharing rumors that are usually negative and without consent.  A person shares for the purpose of hurting another person’s reputation and making them look bad while trying to elevate one’s status because you know what is going on.

The reality is gossip in any form is hurtful and disrespectful.  Gossip lowers a person’s status and tears down other people.  One becomes arrogant and places a judgment on another person in gossip.  It is basically stating that you would never do what you are sharing and are better than that person.  This is not true.  The one who gossips has just gotten down in the dirt and revealed you are not trustworthy.  You give no grace or forgiveness.

There are two main issues here that can affect who you are and how you deal with life.  First, you think you need to know everybody’s business and have the authority to make a judgment.  Some would call this being snooty, snoopy, or a busy body.  It is making yourself the judge and sharing what has nothing to do with you.  Second, just because you know something does not mean you need to share it.  It is being judgmental and never giving grace and believing you have a right to share everything you hear.  You probably do not want others to share your life, so why do you think you can do it to others?

Some people are spending too much time focused on finding the bad in others and letting everyone else know it.  Change your focus to enjoying your own life and not creating a “soap opera” out of the lives of other people.  Share the good news and accomplishments of others if they want you to do so.  Ask permission to share.  Do not assume it is your responsibility and role to share.

Didn’t your mom teach you – “If you can’t say anything good about someone, don’t say anything.”  Find good in people.  Encourage others and not tear them down.  Give people grace when they mess up.  You are not the evening news that needs to broadcast it immediately without the facts.  Do something different.  Pray first.  Go talk to the person if you need to share it and be of support and help in the situation.  Pray with them and for them.

Sometimes the best gift you give yourself and others is to just listen.  Before you share anything ask yourself, “Is it true?”  “Does it build up or tear down someone?” “Is it mine to share?”  When you hear gossip and negativity about others, take the step of not sharing it, pray about what you heard, and then release it. 

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

Sighing

You do not know what to say or do, so you sigh.  You are sad and cannot express in words the hurt deep down inside your heart, so you sigh.  You are tired and your body feels the pain, and you just sigh because you do not know how to get relief.  Sighing is a natural physical expression.  It is the exhalation of a deep audible breath that releases emotions and feelings that cannot be put into words.

You probably sigh throughout the day without realizing it.  You can sigh out of frustration, grief, anger, and it is usually a form of release.  Sometimes you sigh to release emotions and feelings that seem impossible to share. Other sighs are an acceptance of the situation.  You can even sigh when the feeling of wonder and awe totally amazes and words do not adequately convey the moment. 

Sighing is also a way to take the focus away from you and your need to solve the situation.  You just sigh to yourself and know you could fix the problem, but you know it is not yours to control or fix.  Sighing also admits that the situation is what it is.  You cannot change it or make it better. Sighing prevents you from saying something you will later regret.

Sighing is also a prayer.  When life feels overwhelming and complicated, and you have no clue what to do or what to say, sigh and release the situation.  You tend to sigh more in grief.  Your life has changed because of the death of a loved one.  Your life is different, and you may feel alone.  Sighing is a way for your spirit to connect to God because words do not come. You are numb.  Sighing grounds you in the One who is always with you and allows your spirit and the Holy Spirit to breathe together and speak for you.

Sighing slows you down and puts you in the moment.  You sigh as you work, and oxygen fills your brain and lungs.  Sighing can wake you up, and it can also relax you.  Sighing can release anxiety and worry and remind you that you do not need all the answers right now.  Just be in the moment and slow yourself down.  Breathe in and breathe out.

This simple breathing technique has great power and results.  It releases sorrow, fatigue, frustration, and countless other emotions.  It is audible and usually heard by those around you.  When you are alone and sigh, it reminds you to take deep breaths, that the weight of the world is not on your shoulders, and that you need not have words to express your feelings nor to pray.

Sighing is also the way your body prepares and composes itself to share deep emotions. You take a deep breath and put more oxygen in your lungs and gives you a moment before you speak.  Sighing releases the negative emotions, and it is a way your body speaks after dealing with challenging situations.

Listen more to the rhythm of your body and your breathing.  Sigh more to release.  Sigh more and take deep breaths to bring more oxygen into your system.  Sigh more to acknowledge you have no words to describe your emotions, but sighs are words from deep in your soul.

Let’s sigh together!

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In the Different

Check out Elaine’s blogs on her website – www.livinginthedifferent.com