Who Goes With You?

“When you have the opportunity to help anyone, we should do it. But we should give special attention to those who are in the family of believers.” Galatians 6:10

This month has been filled with relationships that began in past seasons of my life. I have made visits in nursing homes, had lunch with friends of all ages, and shared conversations that were filled with emotions and depth. Life is about relationships. Some people we connect with for a season, and other people stay in our lives through different seasons. I believe there are just a handful of people with whom we share the depth of our heart and soul with true honesty without fear of judgment.

As I have moved throughout my adult life because of ministry changes or relationship changes, I have connected quickly with people and enjoyed the fellowship with the family of believers. It has been a joy to serve in churches and to counsel with people through the crises of life. These connections are part of my foundation of life and faith. I am grateful for the experience and their willingness to share life with me. They do not continue with me on my path of life, but it does not mean they are not important to me. If our paths cross again, the connection would still be there.

But there are people that go with us for a lifetime. I am not sure how we choose them or even if we actually make a conscious decision to keep them. We bring them from the past into the present and know that as long as we are both on this earth, we will walk beside each other. Recently, I have had seven friends with whom this bond is permanent. Four of them have been like adopted parents to me, and as they live into their nineties, I know our time together is limited. I value their wisdom, their love, and our heart connection. They share with me what they do not speak even with their biological children.

In the other three friendships, I am walking with them through an unknown journey and together we are finding our way through the jungle of life. They each come from different seasons of my life, but they have always gone with me. Why? It is because we communicate on a heart and faith level. It is a level that contains no judgment, only acceptance and a desire to be present for each other. Sometimes other people perceive them as having it all together and able to handle whatever comes into life because of their position or perceived depth of spiritual maturity. It is therefore difficult for them to share their struggles with some of their friends.

So, who goes with you? We know people. We interact with people. We may even have meals and conversations about easy topics like the weather, sports, food, vacations, and family. We love them and value their friendship. But when it comes to sharing our pain, hurts, struggles, and fears, very few people draw close enough to hear our hearts. When you find someone who truly hears your soul without judgment and allows you to just share without trying to fix or control, you keep them, and they go with you into all your seasons and chapters of life.

Josh Turner recorded the song, “Would You Go with Me?” Here are a few lines of the song –

“Would you go with me if we rolled down streets of fire? Would you hold on to me tighter as the summer sun got higher? If we roll from town to town and never shut it down. Would you go with me if we were lost in fields of clover? Would we walk even closer until the trip was over? And would it be okay if I didn’t know the way?”

The song was written as a romantic song asking their love interest to join them on a journey through the experiences of life. But for me, the song helps me to ponder who I would want to go with me through the experiences of life and be there for me even when I did not know the way. Whatever your struggles in life – grief, change, crisis, disease – who do you want to go with you through it? Yes, I know God is with me through everything. I rely on God to be my support, my rock, my strength, and to walk with me through every storm of life. I also, believe that God works through others. When friends allow the Holy Spirit to use them and speak through them, that friend is the person we want to be with us. Many times, we hear God speak to us through friends who are walking close to Jesus.

I discovered that this friend may not be the one you expected to be there for you. God connects the unexpected because God knows who we need. It may not be the person you share daily life with or even around the most, but it is someone you share your heart and soul with who loves you for who you are and the one you trust to listen and speak the truth to you when needed. It does not matter the age or stage of life; it is about the heart and soul. Live close to those who understand you and step into your struggle and walk with you.

So, who goes with you?

***************************************************************************

I am available to your group, organization, retreat or event to speak on a variety of topics – Grief & Loss, Next Steps Into Life, Living Life with Joy, Anxiety & Worry, Foundations of Life, and many others that we can create together.

Just message me, and we can schedule

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Who Goes With You?

“When you have the opportunity to help anyone, we should do it. But we should give special attention to those who are in the family of believers.” Galatians 6:10

This month has been filled with relationships that began in past seasons of my life. I have made visits in nursing homes, had lunch with friends of all ages, and shared conversations that were filled with emotions and depth. Life is about relationships. Some people we connect with for a season, and other people stay in our lives through different seasons. I believe there are just a handful of people with whom we share the depth of our heart and soul with true honesty without fear of judgment.

As I have moved throughout my adult life because of ministry changes or relationship changes, I have connected quickly with people and enjoyed the fellowship with the family of believers. It has been a joy to serve in churches and to counsel with people through the crises of life. These connections are part of my foundation of life and faith. I am grateful for the experience and their willingness to share life with me. They do not continue with me on my path of life, but it does not mean they are not important to me. If our paths cross again, the connection would still be there.

But there are people that go with us for a lifetime. I am not sure how we choose them or even if we actually make a conscious decision to keep them. We bring them from the past into the present and know that as long as we are both on this earth, we will walk beside each other. Recently, I have had seven friends with whom this bond is permanent. Four of them have been like adopted parents to me, and as they live into their nineties, I know our time together is limited. I value their wisdom, their love, and our heart connection. They share with me what they do not speak even with their biological children.

In the other three friendships, I am walking with them through an unknown journey and together we are finding our way through the jungle of life. They each come from different seasons of my life, but they have always gone with me. Why? It is because we communicate on a heart and faith level. It is a level that contains no judgment, only acceptance and a desire to be present for each other. Sometimes other people perceive them as having it all together and able to handle whatever comes into life because of their position or perceived depth of spiritual maturity. It is therefore difficult for them to share their struggles with some of their friends.

So, who goes with you? We know people. We interact with people. We may even have meals and conversations about easy topics like the weather, sports, food, vacations, and family. We love them and value their friendship. But when it comes to sharing our pain, hurts, struggles, and fears, very few people draw close enough to hear our hearts. When you find someone who truly hears your soul without judgment and allows you to just share without trying to fix or control, you keep them, and they go with you into all your seasons and chapters of life.

Josh Turner recorded the song, “Would You Go with Me?” Here are a few lines of the song –

“Would you go with me if we rolled down streets of fire? Would you hold on to me tighter as the summer sun got higher? If we roll from town to town and never shut it down. Would you go with me if we were lost in fields of clover? Would we walk even closer until the trip was over? And would it be okay if I didn’t know the way?”

The song was written as a romantic song asking their love interest to join them on a journey through the experiences of life. But for me, the song helps me to ponder who I would want to go with me through the experiences of life and be there for me even when I did not know the way. Whatever your struggles in life – grief, change, crisis, disease – who do you want to go with you through it? Yes, I know God is with me through everything. I rely on God to be my support, my rock, my strength, and to walk with me through every storm of life. I also, believe that God works through others. When friends allow the Holy Spirit to use them and speak through them, that friend is the person we want to be with us. Many times, we hear God speak to us through friends who are walking close to Jesus.

I discovered that this friend may not be the one you expected to be there for you. God connects the unexpected because God knows who we need. It may not be the person you share daily life with or even around the most, but it is someone you share your heart and soul with who loves you for who you are and the one you trust to listen and speak the truth to you when needed. It does not matter the age or stage of life; it is about the heart and soul. Live close to those who understand you and step into your struggle and walk with you.

So, who goes with you?

I am available to your group, organization, retreat or event to speak on a variety of topics – Grief & Loss, Next Steps Into Life, Living Life with Joy, Anxiety & Worry, Foundations of Life, and many others that we can create together.

Just message me, and we can schedule

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

What Just Happened?

“The angel said to the women, “Don’t be afraid. I know that you are looking for Jesus, who has been crucified. He is not here. He has risen from the dead as he said he would. Come and see.” Matthew 28:5-6

He went to the hospital for a routine test and got through it fine. He went home, became ill and ended up in the emergency room still feeling groggy from the original test. More tests were administered, and an infection and other complications were found. It was at this point that the surgeon entered the room stating he had a team ready to operate. What? All of this happened so quickly and now he had to make a decision between an immediate surgery or wait to see if the antibiotics would work. He was trying to navigate the unknown and make a decision without fully understanding nor being able to completely focus.

We have all been at this point some time in our lives. Life seems to be going along fine, and then, Wham! Life changed. We ask ourselves, “What just happened?” Life changes without warning, and we stare at what occurred trying to figure out what to do next. You may have experienced a death or loss and have been navigating through the grief and trying to adjust to this different life, and you feel like you are moving forward in life. Then, it hits you and you just feel like you are falling apart and have no control. What just happened?

No matter how much you prepare for the unexpected, you cannot prepare for everything, and life will just happen. Accidents, medical issues, emotional triggers, and even making someone irritated just happens without reason or cause. You first feel shock and numbness and sometimes it feels like you are in a fog, daze or a nightmare. You thought you had it together and were proactive in planning for life situations, but sometimes we are just blind-sided and get knocked down.

It occurs in every situation of life, especially in relationships. You think all is going well, and then the person becomes silent and does not talk to you or answer your texts or calls. You are enjoying the day together you thought, and then you get an attitude from your friend. What just happened?

You could add to my examples, but you get the point. Life is filled with times we just stop and say, “What just happened?” “How do I navigate this unknown?” First, I have learned to cry out, “Jesus, come. I need you now.” I turn to my foundation, my faith, and sometimes your faith needs to come through a trusted friend because you cannot focus. You cannot think straight or even be rational and need someone to talk you through who is grounded especially in a crisis situation. When it involves medical decisions, you need someone with you to hear what you are trying to comprehend from the doctor. It is difficult to listen when fear and anxiety take hold.

I have been reading the Gospel accounts of Holy Week – from Palm Sunday to Resurrection Sunday. The disciples had to be in shock saying, “What just happened?” especially as they gathered together after the death of Jesus. Everything they thought they believed about Jesus being the Messiah was challenged with Jesus’ death. They believed an earthly kingdom was going to happened but now Jesus was dead. What are they going to do and believe now? The women go to the tomb to weep on Sunday morning, but an angel tells them Jesus is not here. Jesus is alive. What just happened?

Things happen so quickly for the disciples, the women, and for us. Our minds cannot comprehend or process how it all fits together. We ask the “why” question and what do you do now when your world is turned upside down. Many times you have never experienced what just happened so you cannot rely on your past. Other times, you go to what you did when something similar happened either to yourself or someone else.

Sometimes, you just have to step back, pause, take a deep breath, re-group your thoughts, pray, and say, “OK, God, let’s navigate through these waters together.” Do not let anxiety and fear control you. Yes, you will be in a heightened emotional state, but God has more power than your anxiety and fear. Trust Him.

Other times, you just have to wait it out and be patient. Let people have their needed space. Let go of your control and need to be right. Let the medicine work. You do not have to put everything together and plan how everyone will deal with it. Remind yourself, you just need to deal with what is in front of you. Just one step at a time.

*********************************************

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Turning Toward

“Jesus said to her, “Mary.” Mary turned toward Jesus and said in the Jewish language, “Rabboni.” (This means Teacher.) John 20:16

I have been the speaker at the Community Senior Luncheons this month and was asked to share about stress since it is Stress Awareness month. This past Tuesday, Bonnie responded, “When I am stressed, I eat desserts because if you spell stressed backward it is “desserts.” It is true for many people, when stress, worry, anxiety, or fear enter their thoughts, they attempt to stuff it down with food, mainly sweets or unhealthy snacks. People turn to something external to deal with these feelings. What do you turn toward?

We tend to turn toward many options in this world when faced with challenges, pain, loss, and changes. We seek comfort, guidance, and support. Some choices are only ways to escape the pain and heartache for a short period of time, but it does not bring hope and healing. Life may feel heavy and dark at times with no light to turn toward to guide our path.

Recently I was at Lake Erie and discovered the statue of the “Lightkeepers” at the Port Clinton lighthouse. The Lightkeepers’ purpose was to guide boats in the dark of the night to find the shore, to prevent accidents, and to ensure the light was always on. The light was a guide toward safety. What light are you going toward in life?

Life can feel uncertain and scary when we have experienced changes and losses. Maybe the person who has been your guide and light in life is no longer here with you. You may feel lost trying to find your way in this different life without your lightkeeper. Maybe the darkness of fear and stress has you turning toward worry. You do not know what to do and it feels like life is not what you planned or hoped. So, you just turn inward and circle your thoughts constantly in worry and fear.

Easter hope calls us to turn toward Jesus. Mary Magdelene on Resurrection morning went to the tomb of Jesus to weep. Mary had gone inward with her grief and fear. She discovered the stone of Jesus’ tomb was rolled away from the entrance, and the body of Jesus was gone. Jesus then appeared to her, but she did not recognize him until Jesus spoke her name and Mary turned toward Jesus.

In our grief and sadness, sometimes it is difficult to feel and see Jesus with us through the darkness of our pain. Jesus calls your name. He speaks to your heart and calls you and me to turn toward him in our sadness and hurt. Are you turning to the light of Jesus in every situation of your life? Easter reminds us of this hope that Jesus is alive and with us. We are never alone. Jesus will take our stress, worry, fears, and losses and carry the burden. Jesus lightens our load. We just need to keep turning toward Him. Jesus is our lightkeeper guiding us through the rough waters of life.

Unfortunately, it is easy to get lost in the darkness of the world and pile on the stress and worries even in the hope that Easter brings. Easter reminds us to refocus our lives to the One who is the light of the world, Jesus. Jesus brings hope, a hope of a hope. You are not alone. Change your focus from your stress and worries to Jesus who brings light and hope and the assurance He will walk with you. Turn your eyes on Jesus!

O soul, are you weary and troubled?

No light in the darkness you see?

There’s light for a look at the Savior,

And life more abundant and free.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Absolutely Positutely

“God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in him may not be lost, but have eternal life.” John 3:16

I had a very enjoyable day this past week doing what I love – making visits with people who have been a part of my life and need some extra support and compassion. One of the happiest people was my dear friend, Sue, who has dementia. I brought her chocolate chips cookies that she immediately consumed. We sang and listened to the old hymns of faith. When I talked about Jesus, Sue cried tears of joy knowing that one day she will see Jesus’ face and hug Him. Her joy of Heaven brought me to tears too. Oh, how she loves Jesus. Sue was filled with joy and smiles with the songs of worship, cookies, and companionship.

I felt totally in the moment and everything in life was good and light. She had given me the gift of joy. I came to brighten her day, and she brought sunshine and hope to mine. Sue’s favorite words to say when she agrees with something completely is – “Absolutely Positutely.” She said, “It makes people smile. You like my word?” Yes, I do.

Sue has no doubt that God loves her, and that God will take her to Heaven. “It would be wonderful to go see Jesus. Most best thing in the world, Absolutely Positutely.” She was positive and sure. Jesus loves her and Heaven is real even in her dementia. What are you “Absolutely Positutely” sure about in your life?

We tend to focus on the negative aspects of life that we know will happen. Life is not fair. Bad things happen to good people. Those we love will die. You cannot trust people. You will get hurt. People will always have something negative to say. I always mess up. Nobody is in control. And the list is endless.

When our thoughts continue down this negative path, it feeds our anxiety, depression, and view of ourselves. I agree that life is not fair, and bad things happen and people we love die. I cannot deny these truths, but there are many “absolutely postitutely” truths that we can focus on in our lives. I am not denying that we live in a fallen and broken world and evil, sin, and negativity are all around us. But focusing on the negative steals any hope and joy we have.

I may not agree with decisions being made around me nor the leadership, but I know I can pray and release everything to God who is in control. I believe God is in control even when it does not look like it. The absolute truth is God is power, strength, knowledge, justice, love, and grace. God is present with each one of us. God loves you. God sent Jesus to earth to die for our sins. Jesus was resurrected and gives to you and me the hope of Heaven. Heaven is real, and we, like Sue, who love and believe in Him, will live forever in Heaven. God is with us through his Holy Spirit.

Yes, there are many absolute truths about our world – gravity, fundamental math facts, water freezes at 0 degrees Celsius, the earth is round. Something absolute is true in all situations. There are numerous scientific and philosophical facts that are absolutely true. I have mentioned a few here. My focus is what truths are you building your life upon? What are your foundational truths that are guiding your path in life?

Yes, life is hard and challenging and difficult and different in this season of life. Life is also beautiful and fulfilling and joyful and filled with adventures. It depends upon your perspective. Are you negative or positive? Are you focusing on all that has gone wrong and all that you are required to accomplish? Yes, life comes with expectations and necessary tasks. Focus on what is good in your life. Change your thought focus. Paul tells us in Philippians 4:8 – “Think about things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about the things that are true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected.”

I am choosing, like Sue, to be positive and filled with joy even in the midst of the pain and heartache of life. Sue is dealing with a disease that takes away the reality of who she is and what she remembers. But Sue remembers Jesus and knows Jesus lives in her heart. I am not denying the trials of her family in dealing with the disease, but in the moments I spent with her, Jesus was our focus.

What if we choose to focus on Jesus not the negatives of the world? Instead of complaining and raising our anxiety and fear, we prayed and released it to the Absolute God. When life gets overwhelming and filled with fear, we need to remind ourselves, “God, you love me and are with me. You tell me not to be afraid but to trust you.”

I’m going to be positive and focus on being grateful. To give thanks for those who have come before me and whose love never dies and lives on within me. I am going to release control to God. Absolutely Positutely!!!

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Hope Even In Reality

“And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts.” Romans 5:5

We gathered to remember and celebrate the life of a high school classmate. We stood together to represent our entire class. His parents were burying their second son. Our hearts ached for his parents. That is not the natural order of life. The pastor shared words of hope. He shared Psalm 23 reminding all of us how God is our Shepherd who guides us through the valley of the shadow of death. We prayed together and heard the words of the hope of Heaven. The reality as we stood beside the casket was that our classmate was physically gone from our sight.

After the service, we stood and talked and remembered our time together in high school. We remembered Kevin and our shared experiences. In these memories, hope was restored even in the reality of loss. We remembered his intelligence and talents, and his quirky personality. He had made a difference in our high school years and therefore, he had a purpose in life. It made his classmates ponder life and the brevity of it. Where is our hope today?

It is difficult to live in hope when we experience death and loss and change. Life is not what we expected or hoped it would be. We tend to focus on what we want life to be and become disappointed and even angry when God’s plan does not match our plan. We see no hope for our lives in death and loss. Yes, we accept there is hope for the one who leaves this world and enters the hope of heaven. But our lives can feel hopeless and empty. So how do we live in hope now even in the reality of present life without just focusing on Heaven?

I am finding that when hope is dependent only on how I feel and my circumstances, hope is not alive. I am disappointed and not able to sustain the hope on my own. I mess up and fail and my feelings get hurt and others frustrate me. I lose focus. I believe some of you can relate to this view of life. You want to live in hope and focus beyond the hurt and pain, but it seems overwhelming and impossible. Your heart is broken, and hope feels like it is just pretending everything is fine.

Hope is more than your feelings and your circumstances. Hope is trust and believing the foundation of your life will sustain you in every situation in life. Your heart may feel empty and broken, but living in the reality of hope now is when God fills your heart with His love. You do not have to understand why life has happened as it has; you just need to trust God is still with you in it. Even when your situation does not change, you can still live in hope. It is based not on you and your outward circumstances but is based on God’s love that is within you even when you do not feel the love. It is present.

Hope is present. When I truly relax in God’s presence – truly just be, I can release the world view of myself and my life. God has no expectations of performance or conditions of love. I am loved because of who God is. I am hopeful in my present state because God just loves me for me. Hope is fulfilled because of God not because of me. My reality may not change. Death still happened, but hope is present because God is present with you.

Hope in our current situation involves a focus change. Hope is the trust that even if I cannot see the good in my circumstances, God is still with me and still loves me. When I focus on just breathing in God’s Spirit and not the anxiety, fear and worry that is around me, hope is present. Hope in my reality includes a release from the confines of this world’s view of myself and my own expectations. It is releasing my view that God’s love and peace has conditions and performance expectations. This is not true.

Hope is truly believing God just loves me now and that whatever happens, God is in control and God has me. This is not being naïve or putting your head in the sand. It is not allowing the world to take away your present hope. Hope is what sustains you and keeps you from spiraling down the hole of negativity and depression.

Live in the hope that God is with you right now. That you do not have to figure it all out or even know what to do right now. Live in the hope that it is OK to be who you are and trust God has you.

Hope even in your present reality.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

So What Am I Suppose To Do Now?

“God has made us what we are. In Christ Jesus, God made us to do good works, which God planned in advance for us to live our lives doing.” Ephesian 2:10

He called. He was frustrated and did not know how to handle the situation. He wanted to control it, but he knew that it was not his to control. He did not have the patience or the words to talk through it. He knew that this was my area of knowledge and experience. So, I went, and I had the conversation. I was using the gifts God has given to me. I believe I was doing and currently am trying to do what God has planned for me to live my life doing. I have come to the acceptance that I am not the one making the plan, I am following God’s plan for my life. I am doing what I am supposed to be doing right now even when I wonder if it is enough and am I discerning God’s plan.

You may be wondering who you are now and what your life is supposed to look like. God made you what you are. God created you with your uniqueness and given you gifts and purpose. In each season or stage of living, your life and purpose will look different. Your life has valleys and struggles along with the joys and adventures. It is a mixture. It is learning from all of it and allowing God to use it for His purpose.

Right now, you may feel you are barely hanging on. You are just existing because of the loss, change, pain, hurt, or challenges of life. God has a plan for you even where you are. Remember, you are God’s child. In these times, God has a plan for you – hold on to hope and hold on to His hand. God’s plan for you is some self-care right now. That may not seem to be enough, but God knows you need to strengthen your foundation and acceptance of life beginning with taking care of the one God loves – that’s you. Start with the basics – take a shower, eat something healthy, make your bed, do some movement, go outside and look up.

Maybe you are in the depths of grief and loss. God’s plan for you right now is to grieve and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. It is beginning to change your focus from the depth of loss to becoming grateful for the relationship and the foundation of love. It is focusing on the blessings of your loved one in your life. God’s plan for you right now is to rest and to give yourself permission to grieve and heal.

Sometimes the good work God has planned for us is to take care of ourselves. To just be His child. God wants us to surrender to Him and allow Him to guide us and give us strength for each day. We try to figure out life on our own and to earn favor with God. Because we are God’s child, God has wonderful plans for our lives to live fully and abundantly sharing in His love and grace. Sometimes God wants us to abide with Him. Just be and not focus on performance.

If you feel you are beginning to move forward into a new season of life, but you do not know the direction or path to take, then wait and listen. This is part of discernment. We may create a plan and desire to be busy and work for God and His purpose. But we usually define for ourselves what must be our purpose without waiting for God’s leading. We created a plan and ask God to bless it. We feel compelled to constantly be busy and always say “yes” to opportunities or even try to create ways to do more. Believing if an opportunity arises, it is what God wants for me.

I am learning to wait and listen. I ask, “God, is this from you? Is this what You have for me today?” The closer we stay to Jesus, the more we know and hear the whisper of God. For instance, I was cleaning and preparing to bake cookies to give away, when the phone rang. I answered and heard the overwhelming anxiety in her voice. I knew this was God’s plan for me today to come to her aid and just walk beside her. I listened to the inner voice of God speak to me. This was what I was supposed to do. The other activities could wait.

What are you supposed to do now? Slow down. Listen. Trust Jesus and get closer to Him. Ask God what He has for you today. Live in front of you. Stay active and not busy. Busy is fueled by anxiety and worry and fear that you are not doing enough. Active involves listening and resting and being and experiencing life.

“God, what do you have for me today?”

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Sunshine In The Peace

“I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace while you trust in Him. Then your hope will overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

I enjoyed the days of sunshine this past week. One afternoon, I sat on my front porch in the sun and listened to the birds singing their songs of joy. The blue sky and warmth of the sun gave me hope for Spring and warmer days ahead. I trust these signs of creation because each year my hope becomes reality. Yes, there will be cooler days and three more snows after the forsythia blooms, but I have hope.

The moments in the sunshine as I looked up into the sky gave a calm peace inside of me. When you look up, you see only what God created. All the tasks and responsibilities are in the background. You breathe deeply and release the world pressures for a few moments. You feel peaceful. This reveals how much the things of this world take away our peace and control us. We need to take these breaks and breathe in God’s creation.

Yes, we have responsibilities and daily tasks that need to be accomplished. That is the fact of life, but life is also peace and joy. We seem to forget that peace and contentment are natural parts of living, too. The things of this world seem to overshadow this inner peace. Life is far from perfect. It will always have struggles, pain, sadness, loss, hurt, heartache, and the lists are endless. When our focus is on all these obstacles and hurts, we live in anxiety, fear, being overwhelmed, and stressed. We assume this is just what life will always be like, and it is what life has dealt us. Life also has peace, joy, love, kindness, goodness, and more.

I am not trying to minimize your pain and struggle. It is real and it is there, but how do you change your focus to the good that is within you? You are more than your disease, your grief, your trauma. God created you with hope. A hope that cannot be defined by your circumstances.

Hope sometimes is difficult to see in the times of darkness in life, but that is where trust in God comes into the situation. It is praying, “Lord, all I see is darkness, but I trust You in the dark. You are the God of hope. Help me see your light and allow your Spirit to enter my heart with Your peace. Amen.”

As I sit in the driveway in the sunshine writing these words, I hear the wind and feel the warm breeze. I look up and see the blue sky and bright sunshine and in these moments God’s peace and joy fill me. I trust God’s Spirit will speak within my heart and give me the words to write that will bring hope to you, my friend. When I close my eyes and allow God’s creation to fill me, I have peace and contentment. I have slowed down and not allowed the world’s view to cloud God’s view of my life. I trust God because God has been with me in the past and continues to be with me. God gives to me a hope of a hope when it seems impossible.

Nature teaches us rest and renewal through the changing seasons. Rest is self-care. It is allowing the sun and the breeze to absorb within us, and it changes our perspective that life is not meant to be always busy and outwardly productive. God is more interested in our inner spirit than our outward accomplishments. When the Holy Spirit is within us, God’s goal is to put our spirit in a restful place. The Spirit of God gives to us inner peace and contentment as we rest in Him. Yes, peace and joy and hope are a natural part of life.

The world is loud, but God whispers to your spirit. Do not focus on the expectations and hurts of life. They will always desire to control you if you let them. Trust that God has got the world and you, even when it does not feel like it. When the wind blows in the fears and worries, trust the hope that the Holy Spirit’s power will blow through you and give you peace to walk you through whatever situation you are currently going through. This peace assures you that you are never alone. There is peace in the sunshine. It is always in your heart even when darkness is all around you. Uncover it from what the world has tried to dump on you.

Live in the sunshine of peace.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

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Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Longing For the Light

Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. The person who follows me will never live in darkness but will have the light that gives life.” John 8:12

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” You sang those words, didn’t you? I have sung this song’s chorus with little children and the elderly. At retreats and in the memory care unit. It always brings a smile and sunshine to the heart. Sunshine brings hope and light and joy into life. We tend to feel better when the sun is shining.

The winter had many gloomy days without a hint of sun. Some days the sun peaked through the clouds for a brief moment, and then the dreariness of the day covered the sun. The sunlight is now staying longer in the days that lead to Spring. Daylight Savings Time is upon us, and we are enjoying the light lingering longer in the evenings. Sunshine brings renewed energy and brightness not just to the day but to our attitude and soul. We tend to be more active when the sun is shining, and our mood reflects the light. I enjoy the beauty of the sunrise and the sunset as God creates a masterpiece each time just for you and me. It is amazing.

I have been sorting through my memorabilia totes that contain awards, letters, pictures, and lots of papers from my past. I have letters from my mom and Grandma, and cards from people in various churches I served. I found letters of recommendation for scholarships from teachers and pastors. I found evaluations from professors. One letter listed gifts he saw in me, and he stated – “Your spirit of joy is the best gift you brought to our group. You have a smile and a particular gleam in your eyes that helps others to feel good and to mirror that sparkle.” Then I found a little card that had my name on it and what Elaine means – “Bright, Shining Light.”

I share this statement not to focus on myself, but I share it to reflect on the words of light my teacher saw in me so many years ago. My parents gave me the name “Elaine” that means “light.” We seek light and brightness in life. Light sparkles when it reflects off something shiny. In the Gospel of John, Jesus said, “I am the light of the world.” (John 8:12) In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus said, “You are the light of the world.” (Matthew 5:14) Jesus wants us to reflect His light to others. Jesus’ light through us will reflect the glory of God and bring others to the light of Jesus.

Light is preferred, but life also brings darkness. The darkness of loss, grief, change, trauma, struggles, and challenges. Sometimes it is difficult to see the light of Jesus in this darkness. At times, the darkness seems to overpower the light, and we see no light at the end of the long dark tunnel. Darkness is just dark. Light begins to peak through the darkness of our souls when someone steps in our darkness with the light of Jesus. We do not immediately receive the light, but we see the glimmer of the light and begin to long for light and hope and a relief from the dark nights of our soul.

Who has been light in your darkness? Who has walked into your despair and lit the candle of hope? You saw the flicker but were not ready to receive the light. You knew it was there, and your friend was reflecting the hope of Jesus into your darkness. We all need someone to be the light to guide us out of the darkness and give us moments of hope. It may take time to change your darkness into light but allow the light to penetrate and revive your soul. Acknowledge the flicker of light in moments of your life and soon those moments come together, and light begins to fill your heart and soul. The situation may not change, but you begin to accept the joy in the middle of the struggle.

Light can overcome the darkness of despair. Long for the light and do not succumb to the darkness of despair. Life may not be what you had hoped or planned, but it is still a gift from God. Go live the life you have now. Allow the smile and joy of others to give you hope not irritation. Many people still smile in the pain. It is a choice to let the light into your struggles and heartache. The light brings moments of refreshment.

When you have received this light in the depth of your darkness and been able to walk into the light of Jesus’ presence, you will want to help others who come behind you to find this light and hope in life. When we give light and hope to others it fills our souls with the light of Jesus and renews us.

Keep longing for the light. Be the light to others. You are my sunshine!

My Books are available through different venues

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Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Talking It Over

“You will teach me how to live a holy life. Being with you will fill me with joy; at your right hand I will find pleasure forever.” Psalm 16:11

An evening of entertainment, music, and a wonderful spirit around me. We experienced an evening concert with Josh Turner. Josh and his band not only played some of my favorite songs, but they entertained with their stage presence. They danced, they interacted with each other on stage, and they had fun sharing their talent for music with the audience.

Josh Turner is a country music singer who is a Christian. He began the concert by singing songs from his new album – “This Country Music Thing.” Then in the middle of the concert, he shared his faith by singing several of the Gospel songs he wrote. In the midst of his entertaining he praised God.

Josh Turner is one of my favorite Christian country artists. His song, “Me and God” is one of the songs that I turned to during my grief and next steps of life. In the intensity of my grief, this song reminded me I was not alone. Life had changed, but God was the same and always with me. I could talk to God in the middle of anything. It continues to keep me grounded in what is important in life and where my focus needs to be. Some of the words of the song –

“Early in the morning talking it over, Me and God.

Late at night talking it over, Me and God.

You could say we’re like two peas in a pod, Me and God.

He’s my Father, He’s my friend.

The beginning and the end,

He rules the world with a staff and the rod.

We’re a team, Me and God.”

God shows up in the middle - in the midst of - every situation in our lives. It is in Jesus we can find rest in the middle of the chaos and struggles of life. When we are in the middle of grief, turmoil, pain, sadness, and struggles, we tend to become overwhelmed and barely exist in survival mode. We may feel like we are going around in circles, and feel like we are living on the merry-go-round of life. It just keeps going and never stops to give us a break. When we are in the middle there seems to be no way out. We see no possibility of life getting better because we are only focused on our own strength and abilities, and we are tired and not able to function well.

This is when the song, “Me And God” pulled me out of the middle of my own pain and grief, and reminded me that God is with me in the middle of everything I encounter in life. I can talk over with God everything that happens in life. God listens from morning until night, and even if I awake in the middle of the night, God will listen. God is my Father and my friend. He takes me by the hand and walks with me. I am on God’s team. I am never alone.

God loves us because we are His children. We sometimes think we have not done enough for God to earn the privilege of talking with God and asking for help, strength, or guidance. So we try it alone with our meager strength and ability and become exhausted, and life seems impossible to navigate. That’s not the life that Jesus came to offer you and me. Jesus died for our salvation and freedom from the shackles and burdens of life. He did not say we would not experience pain and hurt, but He promised to carry the load if we will just release it to Him and talk everything over with Him.

Jesus is with us in the midst of everything we encounter in life. We just need to recognize His presence and talk everything over with Him. I have come to the acceptance that life is about “Me and God.” That is the most important relationship. While I love the people in my life, my relationship with my Heavenly Father is the most important and it is with whom I talk about every detail and decision. For me, to describe this relationship it is like the Holy Spirit – the Spirit of God – lives in the back of my head and every thought, feeling, experience, goes through Him.

When I focus on just Me and God, the things of this world seem not worth the worry and fear. I know God’s got it. It is not that I don’t care, it is I care so much that I put it into the hands of God. My desire is to live so close to God and talk with God about everything and surrender everything to God. Then my prayer is to say and do what God wants me to do since we have been talking it over. God is in charge, and I just follow His lead.

We’re a team – Me and God. Just talking it over!

My Books are available through different venues

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Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Hearing The Gesture

“My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring.” 1 John 3:18

“If you ever need anything, just give me a call. I will be here for you.” Someone has probably said this statement to you at one of your lowest times in life. It may have been after the death of a loved one, a trauma, or a challenging situation. The words were spoken with sincerity, but you did not believe it was an open invitation to call anytime. You never called, and they never reached out to assist you. Then someone brought you peach cobbler in the midst of your move just to let you know they cared. Their action made you feel loved and that someone really cared and followed through with more than words. Actions tend to speak louder than words.

I told him I was here for him and if he needed anything, to call me. He called and needed a ride to the hospital and needed someone to be with him during the process. I gave him my word and followed through with action. I know what it is like to be at a low time in life and just need someone to reach out and show they care by their actions. He felt alone and heard only negativity in his own head about himself and felt the rejection from others. I heard God’s call to love with words and action. It was my purpose at that moment.

I have been listening to Pastor Jim Stauffer’s sermon series on the Five Love Languages based on Gary Chapman’s book with the same title. Those Five Love Languages are – Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Touch, Acts of Service and Quality Time. We each have a predominant way we receive and give love. All are important and enhance relationships. We may use different ones in giving and receiving love. The key is to experience the love and care in the way it was given.

In our times of sadness, loneliness, and grief, I believe we need to see love in action. These love languages are expressions that can be seen, felt, touched, heard and experienced. When life has changed and everything feels different, it is difficult to accept words because they seem empty and trite. Our thoughts are full of words that tend to go in circles and no hope is found in all these thoughts and fears. It is hard to focus when you are going through loss, pain, grief, and struggles. We get lost in the words of the past and the future seems broken. Words seem meaningless.

In these low times, someone offers and tells you to call them if you need anything. It feels empty and you wonder if they said it just to be polite. You know you will never call even if you need them. You need someone to do for you what you cannot do – reach out. To care and show it by their actions. To do something even when you decline their offer. You push away but you want them to pull closer at the same time.

You want out of the mud hole of despair. You hear the words spoken and the directions given on how to get out of the mud hole, but in your sadness, loneliness and negative thoughts, it does not seem possible. You need someone to reach out and take you by the hand. You need action. Someone to shovel your snow-covered driveway. Someone to bring you cookies or a hot fudge sundae. Someone who would take you out to dinner. To watch a movie with you. Hug you. Sit with you in the Hospital. And the list is endless. You will decline all the offers when you are at your lowest, but you know it is what you need.

We hear love in words, but we experience love in action and true caring. Love with words and actions. God does. God loves us so much He sent His Son, Jesus into our world to live and die for us so that when we die, we will live with Him. God gives us His Word – the Bible, but He also gives us His presence and shows us His love in creation. God loves you even in your lowest times and even when your heart is broken. God comes to you through other people, His Holy Spirit, the beauty of nature, through worship and music, and even through cookies and Hot Fudge Sundaes.

Hear the action. Receive the love. Need some chocolate chip cookies?

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

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Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Hearing The Gesture

“My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring.” 1 John 3:18

“If you ever need anything, just give me a call. I will be here for you.” Someone has probably said this statement to you at one of your lowest times in life. It may have been after the death of a loved one, a trauma, or a challenging situation. The words were spoken with sincerity, but you did not believe it was an open invitation to call anytime. You never called, and they never reached out to assist you. Then someone brought you peach cobbler in the midst of your move just to let you know they cared. Their action made you feel loved and that someone really cared and followed through with more than words. Actions tend to speak louder than words.

I told him I was here for him and if he needed anything, to call me. He called and needed a ride to the hospital and needed someone to be with him during the process. I gave him my word and followed through with action. I know what it is like to be at a low time in life and just need someone to reach out and show they care by their actions. He felt alone and heard only negativity in his own head about himself and felt the rejection from others. I heard God’s call to love with words and action. It was my purpose at that moment.

I have been listening to Pastor Jim Stauffer’s sermon series on the Five Love Languages based on Gary Chapman’s book with the same title. Those Five Love Languages are – Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Touch, Acts of Service and Quality Time. We each have a predominant way we receive and give love. All are important and enhance relationships. We may use different ones in giving and receiving love. The key is to experience the love and care in the way it was given.

In our times of sadness, loneliness, and grief, I believe we need to see love in action. These love languages are expressions that can be seen, felt, touched, heard and experienced. When life has changed and everything feels different, it is difficult to accept words because they seem empty and trite. Our thoughts are full of words that tend to go in circles and no hope is found in all these thoughts and fears. It is hard to focus when you are going through loss, pain, grief, and struggles. We get lost in the words of the past and the future seems broken. Words seem meaningless.

In these low times, someone offers and tells you to call them if you need anything. It feels empty and you wonder if they said it just to be polite. You know you will never call even if you need them. You need someone to do for you what you cannot do – reach out. To care and show it by their actions. To do something even when you decline their offer. You push away but you want them to pull closer at the same time.

You want out of the mud hole of despair. You hear the words spoken and the directions given on how to get out of the mud hole, but in your sadness, loneliness and negative thoughts, it does not seem possible. You need someone to reach out and take you by the hand. You need action. Someone to shovel your snow-covered driveway. Someone to bring you cookies or a hot fudge sundae. Someone who would take you out to dinner. To watch a movie with you. Hug you. Sit with you in the Hospital. And the list is endless. You will decline all the offers when you are at your lowest, but you know it is what you need.

We hear love in words, but we experience love in action and true caring. Love with words and actions. God does. God loves us so much He sent His Son, Jesus into our world to live and die for us so that when we die, we will live with Him. God gives us His Word – the Bible, but He also gives us His presence and shows us His love in creation. God loves you even in your lowest times and even when your heart is broken. God comes to you through other people, His Holy Spirit, the beauty of nature, through worship and music, and even through cookies and Hot Fudge Sundaes.

Hear the action. Receive the love. Need some chocolate chip cookies?

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Anticipated Prediction

“But you do not know what will happen tomorrow! Your life is like a mist. You can see it for a short time, but then it goes away. So you should say, “If the Lord wants, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:14-15

This winter weather has been full of surprises, but it has also been typical winter weather for Ohio. You make plans and anticipate that the forecast is true, but then you cancel plans because of the ice storm. Then you do not make plans because of the prediction of a storm and nothing happens. You feel you just wasted your time and could have enjoyed a great adventure. You make plans to stay inside and then the sun comes out and the blue sky is clear and inviting. You make plans to take a walk and then the snowstorm emerges.

We try to anticipate the weather, and meteorologists make predictions. A prediction is a forecast for the future. It is an educated guess basically. We live in the Midwest where the winter can contain all four seasons in a single day. It can be harsh and cold for weeks or mild and sunny. It can change without warning or prediction. We even try to fool ourselves with a ground hog and the prediction of an early Spring. No matter what, Spring only comes when it is good and ready to come. We hope and dream, but reality is, it will come whenever the weather decides to change and commit to staying Spring. We anticipate Spring in the cold of winter.

Anticipation. To look forward to, to expect. Some of you anticipate life will be good and what you hope for will happen. Keep up the positive attitude and outlook. Proud of you. While others of you anticipate doom and gloom. If something could go wrong, you know it will go wrong for you. You predict disaster, heartache, and falling apart if it is connected to you. Your motto has been – “If something can go wrong, it will.” I get it. Life seems to go from bad to worse for you, and it feels like a dark cloud follows you around.

Life did not turn out like you expected, anticipated nor predicted. You had hopes and dreams and life went in a different direction. We want to make choices for our lives, and we do have some choices. Not all of our choices are healthy and good because we make mistakes and are easily swayed by other people and the views of society. We do have a choice in our attitude toward life. We live in a fallen and broken world and bad stuff happens to good people. We try to understand and make sense out of something that makes no sense at all.

So, you may feel that life is not what you predicted it to be at this stage of life. Or it may be better than expected. Either way, life is what is in front of you, and you get the choice to find peace and contentment or fight against it all the way. Your choice. Let’s anticipate something that is true no matter who you are or what life has given you. God is with you. You are not alone. God created you to be who you are and there is a reason for you being you. Only you can do what you were created to do.

God promises you this current moment and to be with you. God may not take you out of the current storm, but God will walk with you through it. This is the life you have. Nobody else can make it better for you. It is your choice. Let us look forward to walking with Jesus and finding moments of good. You need to look for the good. It may not be what you anticipate that will bring good. It is being open to new possibilities and adventures.

We may also anticipate how others will react to us. We worry and become anxious in this anticipation because we want to please others and make them happy. Sorry, that is not your responsibility. You may anticipate other people’s reactions and try to prepare how to respond to them, but this anticipation will only bring anxiety and fears. You cannot control another person’s response. Because of your history with a person, you may predict how they will respond. It is learning to accept a person for who they are and not absorbing their responses.

We tend to have a preconceived view of what life should be and how it should look. What if we let go of this idea, and trust that God has a different plan and way for us to view life. I can choose to be miserable because what I anticipated did not happen, or I can choose to enjoy the surprises of life and find good in the moments. Let’s choose to trust God in each moment of life.

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Reactions To Life

“Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives.” Matthew 11:28-29

Recently I had an allergic reaction to a medication that I tried. It caused a rash and many other physical symptoms. It was suggested to give relief to my congestion, but it caused a very unpleasant experience. I learned how my body reacts to something foreign to it. It has made me more sensitive and cautious about what I put into my body even when it is helpful to others. My body had an adverse physiological response, that is, I had a negative response to a substance.

In life, what causes negative responses that affect us physically? I have a client that is dealing with canker sores in her mouth caused by her absorbing all the emotions around her. Her body is reacting negatively to internalizing these emotions. She is trying to process through them and make healthier decisions for herself. She knows she needs to let go of fixing others and trying to control their behaviors. She is allergic to the absorption of emotions.

How are you responding to the negativity, chaos, and unwanted events in your life that trigger a boatload of emotions? Do you absorb the feelings of others and try to fix everybody and the situation through control? Do you run away and escape life? Does it feel like you are allergic to everything and breaking out all over? You may be having an allergic reaction to life.

I have learned some important truths through my experience this week. First, just because something is healthy for someone else does not make it healthy for me. This relates to life situations, too. How one person deals with a situation may work for them, but it may not work for you. Each person was created unique not just in looks and behaviors but also in emotions and how we react to situations. When we compare ourselves to others and wonder why we cannot do what they just did, it is because we are not them.

Next, I learned that negativity is like something foreign to the body. It does not fit well, or process well nor even settle well into our systems. Negativity permeates into every fiber of our being and makes life feel overwhelming and miserable. We begin to pile everything together and see all of life as bad when it really is not. It is separating the emotions and dealing with each situation by itself. Just because I had an allergic reaction, it did not change my relationships, my faith, my work, and my purpose in life. It just temporarily changed how I was feeling.

I learned that rest is essential for my body to heal from reactions and illness. Pushing through is helpful to a point, but rest is needed to heal completely. Jesus calls us to come to him when we are tired and have heavy loads. Jesus will give us rest. Yes, we need physical rest, but we also need spiritual and emotional rest. That is, we need to rest in the presence of Jesus and allow Jesus to renew us from within. We tend to deplete our spiritual reservoir because we rely only on what we put into it. God’s grace never runs dry, we just think we have to earn the grace that we use. That is a false statement. Grace and love and forgiveness are freely given.

Sometimes, we think we need to get our act together first before God will love us and accept us as His child. We try to do all the right things, fix our guilt by staying busy and overcome our failures by volunteering more. Then we are exhausted even more. We think we should be through the grief, over the pain, healed from the trauma, and work harder to overcome the guilt and shame. We beat ourselves up. Stop reacting the way the world says to react to life.

Maybe, it is time to listen to Jesus’s words again,” Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest.” Trust Jesus. The rest is more than physical rest. It is rest from trying to prove to God that you can earn His love and grace. It is rest from feeling you should be better and farther along on the journey. It is time to rest in God’s loving arms and just be God’s child who is loved not for what you do, but for whose you are – God’s child.

Rest in the freedom that God has you. You are not alone in this struggle of life. Stop reacting to everything as if it is your responsibility. Sometimes things just happen, and we have to let it work itself out just like my reaction to medication. My body had to release it. I had to rest my body. Focus more on releasing instead of reacting. Rest in God’s presence and let God work it out.

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Living In The Different

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Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Impact of the Loss

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants.” Psalm 116:15

Lee passed away today. Harry died six weeks ago. Yale died several weeks ago. She texted me that Cathy died this morning. I read in the newspaper Judy died. He called to tell a classmate passed away. And the list goes on and on. We receive notifications in many ways. People die every day. Our paths may not have crossed for years. They were just in a season of our life. We were aware of who they were and knew them by name and face. We may have had a mutual involvement through church, school, sports, an event or organization. Their death still impacts life. It may not change our day-to-day life or make life different like the loss of a close loved one. The loss still makes us reflect on their life and legacy and life in general.

For instance, I remember Lee’s impact on Jr. High youth when he taught Sunday School and was involved in work camp. I remember his honesty and truth in writing as a reporter. I remember Harry’s quiet strength and love for his wife. Yale’s smile was contagious, and his relaxed joyful attitude made others enjoy being with him. Cathy’s faithfulness to Jesus and her ministry leaves a legacy and a prayer group. So many memories even when grief is not intense.

This type of grief is different. It is one more person we have known that is no longer residing here on earth. We celebrate that they lived and we knew them. We are grateful for their legacy. We are sad for their families. So, what do we do with our grief? It does not feel right to be sad since the relationship may have been more distant or in the past. I believe we need to pause and give thanks for their life. They lived and their life had meaning and purpose. They were loved. We need to rest for a moment in our own thoughts about how our paths crossed. Give yourself time to sit in the memories and give thanks for a life lived.

These reflections have had an impact on some of my recent visits. I visited several of my ninety plus friends and realized that they will soon be residents of Heaven. There will be an empty place in my life. My heart is full, and my soul enriched because of these friendships. I have chosen to stay involved in their lives because of the history of our connections. One asked me the next time I visited to assist in planning her funeral. She is not sad about death but is at peace with the end of this life and the beginning of life in Heaven. Another friend with memory issues talked about her love for Jesus and one day God will say to her, “Hey, Sue get in here.” Being in Heaven with Jesus filled her eyes with tears of joy.

Then there is the impact of loss that we experience in tragedies in our world. For instance, the loss of life in the recent airline crashes. Immediately, we feel the pain and sorrow with the traumatic deaths of innocent people who were on their way to their destination. The deaths bring a mixture of feelings and heartache. Death should bring a pause in our lives, a time of reflection and prayer, and a gratefulness for the gift of life.

There is still an emptiness whenever death occurs. On our walk a few days ago, a small deer lay dead in the ditch. It had been hit earlier that day, and I felt an overwhelming sadness. It may have been one of the little fawns we had watched grow up and run through our woods. All of God’s creatures whether animals or humans are important to God. Any loss of life should affect us in some way, and we should not become completely numb to loss. Each life is precious to God.

There needs to be a balance in the impact of loss. Not so numb and walled off that we do not feel anything, but not extreme that everything is a gut punch. When someone you know dies no matter when you saw them last or the closeness of the relationship, recognize the loss of life and the emptiness of our world. Nobody will do exactly what they did, the way they did. That is the uniqueness of human life. Give thanks for the gift of their life and the legacy they leave and the impact they made on your own journey. When there was no personal connection, pray for their family and friends and give thanks for their gifts to this world.

Recognize the loss. Send a card. Go to the funeral. Say a prayer. Remember.

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Living In The Different

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Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Frozen In Time

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1

This winter I agree with the bears. Hibernation for the winter is sounding pretty good right now. With the below zero temperatures and unusual snow accumulation in the South and blizzard conditions in the northeast, being curled up asleep seems like a great option. In this current polar vortex, life seems to stop. Schools and businesses close and events are cancelled. Staying inside a warm house seems to be the choice of many people. Some of you find it cozy and enjoy the time inside to do fun activities and tasks. Others of you just shut down and spend mindless time scrolling social media or binge watching something on TV. The cold has frozen your motivation.

There are situations in our lives that seem to freeze us in time. That is, we are hyper-focused on the situation and the rest of life does not seem to matter. When we are in the middle of cancer treatments and illness, life feels frozen in the disease. When a tragedy has happened, life is at a standstill, and you are numb to what is around you. In grief, life seems to be frozen in time. Every reference is based either on life before the loss or after the loss. You begin a story by saying, “That was before he died.” “That happened after the fire.” Life is frozen in time in a calamity or trauma.

Relationships may also hibernate for a while because of distance in miles or distance through life changes. Like a bear, friendships may awaken for a period of time. You connect the past into the present and remember. Sometimes these moments create a continuous relationship and other times just for a brief moment. You remember and cherish the memory, but life has moved in different directions.

When you experience loss and change, you feel like you want to hibernate from life. Life is so different, and you cannot grasp how to live into this new way of life. This hibernation is like a resting state. You may remain active on the surface and complete tasks and the necessities of life, but inside you are a jumbled-up mess of feelings, emotions, and indescribable confusion. Life stopped moving forward and you want to curl up and just stay where life changed. It seems impossible to function. So, for some of you, the change and loss has become your reality, and you are choosing to just rest in life right where the hurt happened. That is fine for now. Rest. Hibernate.

The reality is that life does go on. The bears wake up. Winter turns into Spring. Events happen again. The winter freeze thaws. But life does not go back to normal after any type of loss, disease, or change. Life is now different in every aspect, and you get to decide, “Do I stay frozen in the life I had and allow fear to take control?” That is, do you just exist and function in life and retreat into your loneliness and empty familiarity?

Listen to the bears. Be in a resting state for a period of healing time. Give yourself permission to rest, to heal, to feel, to reflect, to pray, to release. The bears know life goes on. When they awaken, life around them may have changed, but they adjust and continue with life. They learn to live in the moment in front of them. Learn to live in the moments in front of you.

You cannot take steps into this different life alone. God is your light and salvation. God directs your path and gives you grace. God is your stronghold – your foundation, your strength and protection. Begin to thaw. Trust God in this different. God walks into your hibernation and frozen state and takes you by the hand. You have a desire to move forward and trust, but you have no strength or motivation. The strength to take steps forward come from God’s Spirit that is within you.

Hibernate for a while if you need. Allow the God’s healing spirit to thaw your heart. Hope forward.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Brokenhearted

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed.” Psalm 34:18

Hurricanes, floods, and fires have filled the news as many people in our country have experienced the devastation and loss of their homes and possessions. Lives have been lost, and nothing will be the same in many communities. When everything we have acquired in life in way of material wealth has been destroyed, life takes on a different perspective. People are at a loss as to what to do now. Everything that was familiar is gone. Their emotions are raw, and they are broken in spirit.

While I personally experienced the loss of my home and possessions because of a fire when I was a teenager, it was a single incident not the mass destruction that our country has witnessed. But I remember the emotions and feelings connected to the loss. Everything you regarded as your own no longer exists. Your identity had been wrapped up in where you live, what you own, and what you regard as valuable. Life is viewed through these material possessions. Your heart is broken, and you have no idea how to live and face life.

It is important to grieve the loss. Emotionally, we fall apart. We experience something that is so foreign to our life, and it is difficult to process that what happened was real. I remember having dreams about the fire for months. Sometimes, I would wake up and think for a moment everything was just a dream, but then the reality would hit me. I felt the same way after the death of my husband, Dave. I would have dreams about him, and I would wake up believing the past months were just a dream, and then reality would hit, and I would fall apart.

Sometimes the only way to begin to heal is to fall apart. To fall apart is to be at our lowest but also the most vulnerable and broken. It is knowing we do not have the ability to fix or heal or put our lives back together. This is a full surrender. “I need help. I have no clue what to do next.” We are brokenhearted and feel abandoned and alone.

We each have events, experiences, and situations that break our hearts. We have no strength on our own. It is in the brokenness of our lives that we begin to assess where we have placed our values and focus. After my house fire, my view of material possessions changed. They are necessary and needed but not the most important part of life. Relationships are central. My relationship with those I love and my relationship with God takes precedence. I began to focus on the blessings not the losses.

This is difficult when our heart is broken and the grief is intense, but healing begins when we change our focus from the loss to the blessings. This does not mean that crying and grief and sadness is wrong because when we have experienced loss and tragedy, we will have these feelings in some way the rest of our lives. Our heart will always remember the brokenness. Healing begins when we focus on the blessing of having our loved one in our lives. It is focusing on what we still have – our own lives and the lives of others we love. It is focusing on what is most important in life. It is knowing that God is with us in the brokenness. God is the only one who walks with us in the brokenness and is the One who brings healing and hope out of the ashes of our lives. I cannot explain why tragedies happen, but they do. We try to make sense of something that makes no sense to us.

All I know is that God is close to the brokenhearted. That means God is close to you and me. God saves and rescues our crushed spirits. God wants to carry the burdens of our lives and give us hope when life seems so hopeless. It is accepting that this tragedy and brokenness has happened, how do I take steps into the life I now have? It is knowing God walks with us each step. It is not easy to start over, but God was with us before, and God will be with us now. You can live even when your heart is broken. You live in the healing.

Pray for those whose lives have been torn apart from all the tragedies. Pray for those around you whose hearts are broken from loss and change. Pray for yourself and allow God to bring healing and hope.

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My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Settling For Less

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

For over three years, I have been making a protein shake for every breakfast and most lunches. My shakes include a banana, blueberries, spinach or some type of greens, protein powder, water, and ice. Sometimes the shakes are icy, sometimes watery, and sometimes smooth. I have used a standard blender and accepted that the shakes are fine. I purchased a new protein powder that created a foamier shake, and the small blender could not hold it all. So, I decided to purchase a larger one made specifically for smoothies. Was I ever in for a shock, my protein shakes are now amazing and smooth. My Ninja makes the best shakes. They are creamy and delicious. Who knew a different blender would make such a difference.

I had settled for less than the best, and I accepted that it was fine. I was still drinking them and getting my protein. Now, I see that I was settling for something that was just acceptable. I have experienced the amazing shakes and would never go back to making them the old way. I was choosing mediocre when at my disposal was quality.

So, what does a blender have to do with life and living fully? I believe a lot. I have been reflecting on how my situation applies to life. We tend to cling to old ways that we believe are fine and acceptable because it is how we have always done it. We tend to keep going in the same direction and same focus knowing that it is not totally fulfilling, but it will do. We still do the necessary tasks and function as well as the average person.

I believe God has so much more to give us in life, but we get pre-occupied with the little we have and hoard and hold on to it. We feel we have lost so much through the death of loved ones, dreams dashed, and what we thought would happened and it did not. We try to hold on to what we have. We fear losing it, and if we take another risk and try to live again, we will experience hurt and pain.

Fear holds us back. We know what it was like to hurt and experience the pain of loss and separation and we do not want to go through that again. So, we hold on to what we can control and just function in our little space. I believe God has so much more to give us. When we cling so tightly to what we have – what is left to the life we had or what we have accumulated – it never is satisfying. We spend so much time and energy trying to keep it safe and keep ourselves from being hurt. We pull inward and live in anxiety, fear, and worry.

Wow, all this from a blender? Yes! Sometimes we have to take the risk and experience life to the fullest. It may not be what we had but it will be a new adventure. When we settle, we also complain about the struggles and what we don’t have and the unsettledness within us. Yes, life is risky, just like buying a new blender – don’t know if we will like it or if it will work. But we will not know until we try it.

Take the risk. Buy the new blender. Go on the trip. Take the adventure. Change your routine. Try something new. Eat something different. Go to the gym. Reach out to a friend. Take a walk in the snow. You will not know if you like it, until you try it.

You can also do it afraid because God promises to be with us and to deliver us from our fears. That means we need to surrender our fears to Him. We may fear getting out of the rut because it is so familiar but unsatisfying. We know we are settling for less, but do not know how to change or motivate ourselves to take the steps.

Surrender and relinquish control to God. Trust Him. Take one step at a time. Take the risk. Do it afraid.

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Sifting Through

“Let us discern for ourselves what is right, let us learn together what is good.” Job 34:4

My cousin shared his memories with me about our house fire when both of us were teenagers. My cousin came with his dad the day after the fire, and together with my dad, they sifted through the rubble in search of anything of value. Dan recalls the smell that lingers in his soul even to this day. He had never experienced this type of tragedy, and the sight and smells have remained within him. During this Christmas season, I sifted through my tote of memories in search of letters that I have treasured from my mom. In the sifting through, I found two letters from my dad which are probably the only ones he ever wrote to any of his children.

At the end of the Christmas season, we sift through the sale racks and the half off Christmas decorations to find a hidden treasure. We sift through the bargain racks in hopes of finding something perfect. Each time we sift through something, we are looking for something of value, something that has meaning to us. To sift through is to discern if what we find has value and purpose. Sometimes it only has value because of the memory.

I no longer write New Year’s resolutions or goals, but now I choose a word for the year. This year I have chosen “Discern.” To discern is to recognize or identify as distinct, to perceive, to determine, to sift through. When you discern, you understand, comprehend, and grasp the meaning. For me, I want to discern God’s will and direction for this year. I want to pray and talk with God and listen for God’s voice in my heart. But in this discernment, I need to sift through the chatter of this world and my own thoughts. My desire is to discern what God is saying to me which may be different than what others perceive from God. Discernment is personal and specific to an individual. It is sifting through the noises and voices around me and finding the One that gives value and purpose to my life.

As we begin 2025, we reflect on the past year and what we had hoped would happen. We review in our head the good and the struggles, and we discern the purpose and meaning of the events of the past. In these ruminations, we also wonder why certain things happened and also seek to find the blessings among the challenges. We remember the adventures, the relationships, and the struggles. For some of you, the new year brings a different life because of the loss of a loved one. Some of you are experiencing the journey of health issues and the diagnosis of an illness. You are trying to discern why you or your family member has to go through this difficulty.

To discern involves our reflections on the past. We are trying to understand the “whys” of life. Why did this happen? Why him? Why her? Why now? In this understanding also comes an acceptance that I may never grasp the entire meaning, but I need to trust that God is still with me and in the situation. God was with you in the past and that does not change. I need to learn from the past but not continue to live in it and allow the past to control my present. The past is our foundation for the present. This is also discernment.

My word for 2024 was “listen,” and I was more intentional on listening to other people and what was really important to them. I was more focused on listening to what God was saying to me in the Bible and in my quiet time. To me, discernment is the next step to deepen my relationship with God and with all my relationships. To discern involves listening but with a focus on understanding the meaning of not only what is being said but how does it apply to my life or my relationship with the person. It is discerning my purpose for today.

May this new year bring discernment for you as you listen to God and the next steps God has for you. Remember, it is one step at a time and focusing on what is in front of you.

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Reflection of the Light

“The true Light that gives light to all was coming into the world.”  John 1:9

I took the picture of our back yard that is with this blog and noticed the reflection of lights in the picture.  The Christmas tree lights reflected off the back door when I took it.  Later that day, I noticed the reflection of the sunlight through our windows onto the floor.  It brightened and warmed our home.  In my counseling office I have a prism in the window given to me by the funeral home who cremated my dear dog, Annie.  When the sun light hits it directly in the afternoon, small rainbows bounce around the walls and the floor of the room.  It always makes me smile, and I feel Annie’s spirit all around me.

In the darkness of the evening, the Christmas lights in the park reflect on the pond and make the lights even more magical.  Lights shine brightest in the dark.  Light illuminates the darkness.  Light reflects on glass and other surfaces.  To reflect is to give back, to throw back, to bounce back.  Light bounces off the surface but does not absorb into it but reflects off of it.

As we conclude another year, what are your reflections of 2024?  What has this year been for you?  For some of you, the year has been filled with challenges, struggles, and sadness.  For some of you, grief became an uninvited companion.  Some of you experienced the joy of new life, new adventures, and new experiences.  For some of you, life stayed about the same and familiar.  This year has reflected changes and a different life for most of you. 

I keep a log or journal of adventures or events, and each day I write down something that happened that was significant or noteworthy.  Then on New Year’s Eve, I read through the year’s log and reflect on all that happened.  It is also a time to give thanks to God for walking me through the year and for the blessings and the challenges of the year.  As I reflect, I am aware that God has been with me through it all – the highs and lows, the joys and the challenges.  God placed people on my path and gave me a purpose each day.

For the past nine years, since my husband, Dave, died, I have not written resolutions or goals for the year, but I have chosen a word to be my focus. My word for 2024 has been “listen.”  I have been reflecting on how I listened this year.  I listened to clients in counseling sessions.  I listened to friends and family and shared life together.  I listened to experts in various professions in making decisions.  I listened to my heart and moved back to my hometown.  I have tried to listen to God each day for my purpose that day.

To listen is to give one’s attention to a sound, to pay attention, to be attentive and take it in.  It is not just hearing a sound, but it is taking it within your soul and understanding what another person or what nature is saying to you.  To listen is to be reflective and give back your focus and acceptance to the one speaking.  It is to reflect the light of that person into your heart.

As you reflect on this past year, recognize God has brought you through this year.  God has illuminated your darkness with His light.  God has listened to your heart.  This year may not have been what you desired.  You may feel sad, lonely, angry, different, or confused.  It is in the darkest times of our lives that the light of Christ shines the brightest.  The light reflects the glory of God and does not absorb the emotions but brings hope into them.

We have just experienced the Christmas Season when God breaks through the darkness of our lives and world and gives light and hope to everyone through the birth of Jesus.  Emmanuel – God is with us. The Christmas lights reflect the joy of the season.  When you pack away the Christmas lights continue to reflect the light of God’s love.  Do not put away your kindness and the spirit of compassion and love with all the decorations.  Reflect the true light of the world – Jesus – to this broken world every day.  Christmas is not just a day – it is a season.  A season that never ends because the light of Jesus shines in your hearts.  It is not so much about what is going on around you but what is within you. In the darkness of your heart, God still shines His light of love and hope.

Reflect the light of Jesus.  Allow the light of Jesus to shine within your own heart too.

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

 Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/