Can't Change The Weather

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.  The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives and by believing in me will never die.  Do you believe this?”  John 11:25-26

I just spent a week in Florida house sitting and dog sitting for a friend (Yes, tough job, right?).  It sounded like the perfect time to be in sunny Florida and be out of the cold of winter, but cold followed me.  Yes, it was warmer than home, but not warm enough for the beach.  You can’t change the weather; you just change how you deal with it.

Life happens.  It is not what we had planned nor expected. You cannot change it.  You learn to deal with it.  It does not mean you do not get upset, cry, question why, beg for mercy, or plead to God for a miracle.

While I was in Florida, I visited my over ninety friends who had just moved from their home in Ohio into an assisted living facility in Florida.  They are adjusting to a small apartment and receiving the care they need at this stage of life.  It is not what they had planned but health changes and aging necessitated the change.  We cannot change the aging process.

I also visited my friend who while on her vacation had a medical emergency and will be in the hospital away from home for an extended period of time.  It happened without warning and now her husband is navigating the unknowns in the medical world. You cannot change the unexpected.

Another friend came home from the hospital with Hospice care while I was in Florida.  Her husband and family and friends are beginning the journey they do not want to take of saying goodbye.  It was not the plan.  My friend has made a difference for Jesus in this world and impacted the lives of so many with her joy, her music, her teaching and most of all her faith and love for Jesus.  Why her?  She has been healthy and vibrant and giving all her life and has lived for Jesus.  There are no words or reasons.  You cannot change it.

This week is my parents’ birthdays – one day apart.  This week, I give thanks for their lives, their love, and their influence upon my life.  My dad and my mom now reside in Heaven with their Lord and Savior, Jesus.  Recently I heard the song, “Phone In Heaven” – “If there’s a phone in Heaven, put my mama on the line.  Give me one more chance to tell her I love her.”  I would love to have a conversation with my mom and hear her voice and tell her once again, “I love you.” I cannot change that my mom died and is in Heaven, but I can give thanks for her life and her love and her influence on my life.  I can talk to her in my heart every day.

I heard another song, “If Heaven Had a Landline” – “Just a five minute call would get me through the day.  If Heaven had a landline, I’d ring it up every day and say, “Is it everything they said it would be?”  Yes, I am listening to some unique songs that show up on my playlist.

I have been thinking a lot about Heaven recently.  I listened today to the song – How Beautiful Heaven Must Be – “How beautiful heaven must be, Sweet home of the happy and free, Fair haven of rest for the weary, How beautiful heaven must be.”  I know my mom and my dad and my Grandma and my husband, Dave are in Heaven.  They have seen Jesus face to face.  They are happy and free.  I also know my friend will be there sooner than we want her to go.  I cannot change it.

Another friend’s dad went to Heaven this past week.  It has taken him his whole life to finally surrender to Jesus and say, “I love Jesus.”  I was with him when he finally made the commitment to love Jesus.  My friend and her family have the assurance that he is with the One who loves him – Jesus.

My friend, Jan, has always talked about Heaven and the joy of being with Jesus.  She has lived her faith and has radiated the love of Jesus in her smile, her singing and her joy for life.  She will see Jesus and be healed.  Just like my parents and your loved one, they now know that Heaven is beautiful.  They are at peace and in the presence of Jesus.

We would like to change the timing just like we would like to change the weather, but we cannot do it.  We would like to change what a person has to go through to get there.  We would like Heaven to have visiting hours or at least a phone.  There are visiting hours in ICU and in Hospice and even in prison.  Why not in Heaven?  I believe it is because we would never want to leave once we got there.

We are with people in their sickness, in the process of dying, and we are helpless to change anything.  We cannot slow it down and stop time.  We do not want them to leave, but we do not want them to suffer and be in pain.  We want them to be at peace and be with Jesus, but we do not want to release them.  We know we cannot be with them in Heaven until God calls us home.  We cry, we are sad, we grieve because we love so deeply and cannot imagine life without those we love.  Love never dies and remains in our hearts forever, but we do not want to let go physically.

We cannot change the weather or the dying, but we can embrace the one who is with us through it all.  The One who understands how we feel.  The One who conquered death by dying for us and giving us the gift of eternal life.  Turn your eyes toward Jesus.

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full, in his wonderful face.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.”

Check out my books on Amazon -

Living In The Different

Life Lessons of A Lone Trooper

Live Different Moments

Reflections In The Whisper

“After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.  And after the fire came a gentle whisper.”  I Kings 19:12

We may want God to speak loud and boldly to us like in a fire and an earthquake, but God continues to come to each of us in His gentle whisper.  It is being quiet enough and quieting the world around us, to hear God whisper.  God has been whispering to me throughout this past year in my devotions.  Last week I shared some of what I have heard God say to me last year, and this blog will continue to share some of these whispers with you.

·         God sees what I cannot see.  Trust God to lead.

·         God is good and still God even when He answers our prayers differently than we desire.

·         Surrender your scars to God’s gentle touch.

·         God is always on time.  Wait on the Lord.

·         When you are tired and weary, make sure you make a divine appointment to carry the load and renew you.

·         God grieves for us and with us and sits at the edge of the rubble of our lives reaching for us.

·         Accept help from others so that they can use their gifts and talents to bring glory to God.

·         When we love deeply, we mourn and weep at their death.

·         God provides hope and comfort when we weep.

·         We have been given abundant grace from God.  We are blessed.  We are called to share and give to others abundantly.

·         Hope is not what you expect by what you never dreamed possible.

·         My purpose is to bring glory to God.

·         God takes out our stubborn hearts and gives us a heart of obedience.

·         You cannot out give God.  Give God all you have and you will end up with more.

·         Generosity makes God smile.  As we practice generosity we reflect the heart of God.

·         You don’t need God to clarify; you need to trust God.

·         God doesn’t need us, God wants us.

·         When you give your life to Jesus, He takes responsibility for you.

·         Don’t overlook what seems like a small thing or small opportunity.

·         The most consistent thing about life is its inconsistency.

·         We grieve with the hope of heaven – grieving forward.

·         God speaks to us in the interruptions of life.

·         Jesus is our permanent residence – our permanent mailing address.

·         Remember those who prayed for you.  Their prayers are part of your foundation and are still vital today.

·         Jesus is the solution to every problem.  He is the answer to every question.

·         Nothing will touch me that God cannot handle.

·         God knows your name.  God speaks to you in the language of your personal life – ways you can understand – Listen!

·         God is in control.  He is working in every detail of my life.  God is working it all out for my good.

·         Be willing to be faithful wherever God places you, however God wants to use you – with one hundred or with one person.

·         Life gets so much better when we realize we are not the main character – Jesus is.

·         Each compliment is like a flower.  You collect them and make a bouquet and then give them all to God.

·         Be authentic – true to one’s own personality, spirit, and character given to you by God.

·         Praise and singing is the key in changing our attitude, fears, and despair.

·         Get out of God’s way.  When you don’t know what to do – stand still and let God work.

·         Our priorities need to have eternal value.

·         Jesus invites us to bring our struggles and regrets to Him and exchange them for His joy.

·         We may feel powerless, but we are never prayerless.

·         Joy is peace dancing.

As you read the Bible and your devotions, find a word or phrase to hold onto each day and ponder the meaning for you.  It helps us to gain a fresh perspective on our faith and our current journey.  God is with you.  It is being willing to listen and be still.

In this season of Christmastide – the time after Christmas, pause and wait for God to break through the darkness of your life and give you hope.  Listen to the whisper of God.  It may come through the most unexpected ways.

Listen to the whispers!

Check out my books for the New Year -

            Living In The Different

            Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

            Live Different Moments

All available on Amazon and at Tea Story in Upper Sandusky.

Reflections In Stillness

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

This past year as I have read my devotions and the Bible, I have kept a journal of thoughts and reflections from this quiet time.  I prayed before I began my quiet time that I would listen with my heart, hear God speak, and discern God’s word for me today.  I did not just want to read the words like I was completely a task.  Reading the Bible is actually God speaking through the written word, and I wanted to be open to what God was saying to me each day.

I would like to share with you some of what God spoke to me through this quiet time.  I hope you take the time to ponder these thoughts and hear God speak to you through these words.  I am learning to pause more and listen.  We tend to read quickly so we can move on to the next item on our agenda.  It is good to sit for a while in God’s word and to listen to how God speaks to others in the devotions they write.

·         Chase your dreams because dreams never chase you.

·         Jesus wants us to sit down with Him everyday and rest in His Presence.

·         Everything belongs to God.  When we give, we are giving back to God what is His in gratefulness.

·         God isn’t something you add to your life – God is your life and your life’s work.  Your purpose is to glorify God.

·         We are never an interruption to God.  We are His children whom He loves to hear from.

·         Counselors can comfort you in the storm, but you need a God who can still the storm.

·         When anxieties steal our breath away, we need the God who is the breath of life.

·         Stop clinging so tightly to what you think you want.  Don’t lose out on what God wants to give you.  Look up.

·         God’s love is better than any life we try to create.  We may still suffer, but God’s love is greater than anything in this world.

·         God’s arms are always open.  His mercy is waiting.  His grace is mine.

·         Worry diminishes as you look upward.

·         Don’t be afraid to let your uniqueness define your path in life.

·         Peace begins with a choice to stop being afraid followed by a decision to start trusting God.

·         God.  Not a good idea.

·         Ask God to give you more of His voice in your ear.  Listen with your eyes on the pages of the Bible.

·         God hears me even when I do not use words to pray.

·         Worry divides the mind – splitting thoughts between today and tomorrow.

·         Grace defines you.  I am who God says I am.  I am His.

·         Sorrow stretches out space in our hearts for joy.

·         Fix your eyes on Jesus.  Sometimes we are so busy doing the work for Jesus that we forget to focus on Jesus.

·         Trust Jesus.  He is the power you cannot see to do the work you cannot accomplish on your own.

·         We are never too much for God.

·         Live your life or it won’t be lived.  Only you can do what God created you to do.

·         My confidence is in God’s faithfulness.

·         You cannot accomplish goals that are not God’s goals for you.

·         God does not command you to be successful, He commands you to be faithful.

·         Go live your life and don’t worry about what could or might happen.

·         Jesus is our permanent mailing address.  Jesus wants me to be where He is.

·         God is not something to add to your life – God is your life.

·         Jesus is the solution to every problem, the answer to every question.  Jesus fills every need.

·         The past cannot be changed, live in God’s grace.  The future is in God’s hands.  Live today.

·         God’s grace and mercy is overflowing.  God will always forgive.  We never run out of God’s grace and mercy.

·         God’s agenda for your day – to make you more like Jesus.

·         Life comes with directions – The Bible.

·         Wait for the Lord.  Be patient and do not take matters in your own hands.

·         You will never go where God is not.

It takes time to be still – to settle the spiritual “wake” caused by life and settle into being quiet before God.  I hope a few of these words touched your heart and you took time to ponder what God is saying to you.  It is good to write down how God speaks to you so that you can reflect and remember.

Pause and be still before the Lord.  God has something to say to you today.  Listen.

Mark your calendars – I will be leading a seminar “Living Life Forward” on Saturday, March 21st from 9 am to 12 pm at Trinity Evangelical Church in Upper Sandusky.

The Song of Your Heart

“Sing to the Lord with grateful praise.”  Psalm 147:7

The Christmas music has ended (Why don’t we play it all year?), and now we begin to reflect upon this past year and ponder what the new year will bring.  We remember the joys and the sorrows, the losses and the achievements, the struggles and the accomplishments.  It has been a mixture of emotions and changes.  Each year brings challenges and opportunities of growth.  We have released loved ones to Heaven and we gained new relationships.  Some of you set resolutions for 2025 and you may not even remember what they were because daily life got in the way.  Some of you achieved your goals.

 What songs did your heart and soul sing this year?  Were they songs of sadness and grief?  Songs of pain and fear?  Songs of joy and celebration?  Songs of hope and peace?  I listen to music every day, usually on Sirius radio in my vehicle or on my phone through a speaker.  I mainly listen to Southern Gospel, Contemporary Worship, Country with a few other random songs.  I listen to piano instrumental music all night long. Music has been my way of giving expression to my feelings and also bringing hope and peace into my heart.  It brings a calmness and a focus.

In 2026, I want to sing with a grateful heart.  For the past ten years, I have chosen a word for the year.  The word has helped me focus, pray, grow and challenged me to live in this different life.  I have used the word to guide my prayers, and the word has helped me find songs that have touched my spirit and given me encouragement.

For 2026, God has given me the word “grateful.”  Grateful is a feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness.  Grateful is a mindset, a choosing to see the good.  Thankful is a reaction to something specific like “I am thankful for sunshine today.”  Grateful is a positive outlook that sees the good and knows God is good even when I cannot see it.  It is being grateful God is with me.  Grateful God is in it with me.  Grateful for the blessings and the struggles.

My hope for 2026 is that the song of gratefulness will be in my heart.  What song is in your heart? I challenge you to spend time with God to find the word you need to help guide you in this new year.  Resolutions are easy to break and sometimes too overwhelming to achieve.  Don’t set yourself up for failure and eventually guilt.  Let’s simplify the way we set resolutions and goals for the new year.  Why not choose a word?  Find scriptures and songs that will fill your heart and help you focus and grow in the new year.

For me, I am going to go into the new year focused on being grateful – to be grateful for the relationships and experiences God places on my path.  I am going to sing with a grateful heart and find songs that express gratefulness.  My ears will be tuned to hear the words of the songs and discern how it expresses gratefulness.

I am grateful for each one of you that reads my blogs and newspaper columns.  I will be combining the two sometimes in the next months.  The blog will expand on the newspaper column theme.  I am grateful for those of you who also read and share my books.  Most of all I am grateful for Jesus, my Lord and Savior, and the gift of His grace and forgiveness.

Our hearts will have lots of things trying to win our attention in the new year.  Make room in your heart for God’s song.  Casting Crowns have a song – “Room In Your Heart” –

 “Is there room in your heart, Is there room in your heart, Is there room in your heart for God to write His story?”

God has a story to write for 2026. Make room in your heart for Jesus. 

Just Because It's Christmas

“While they were in Bethlehem, the time came for Mary to have the baby, and she gave birth to her first-born son.”  Luke 2:6-7

It is Christmas.  It comes every year whether you plan for it or not.  It comes whether you decorate and have a Christmas tree or not.  It comes whether you buy presents or not.  Christmas comes each year.  So what is Christmas?  Christmas is more than all these outward expressions of the season.  Christmas is the day we celebrate God breaking through into our world and becoming like us so that He could save us from our sins.  God comes to earth in the form of a baby – Emmanuel – God is with us.

Just because it is Christmas does not mean life is joyful and you want to celebrate with dinners, presents, and family.  You may be alone this Christmas or at least feel lonely in the gatherings of family and friends.  Your family may not bring you peace or be peaceful.

Anne Wilson wrote the song – “Just Because It’s Christmas”   –

“Just because it’s Christmas, doesn’t mean your heart don’t hurt

Just because it’s Christmas, doesn’t mean there’s peace on earth

Bring your wounded heart to the manger

Fall down at the feet of the King

When thrills of hope don’t find you

He loves you just the same

You don’t have to be OK

Just because it’s Christmas. 

Just because it’s Christmas does not mean your day becomes a magical Hallmark Christmas moment.  Your circumstances may not change because of the outward display of the season and the date on the calendar. Your heart may still hurt.  Peace is no place to be found, and hope is only a glimmer.  Christmas is so much more than what we see around us or even more than what we feel.  It is bringing your hurt and broken heart to the manger and giving it to Jesus.  Jesus comes to be like us so that He could understand our hurts, brokenness, and bring peace and hope into our hearts and into this broken world.  Jesus came to earth to be the Savior of the world and of our lives.  So come kneel at the manger.

Just because it is Christmas, your daily life may not change but who is with you in your daily life changes.  God is with you right now.  Christmas reminds us of God’s presence.  You are not alone.  Just because it is Christmas reminds you and me that God loves us so much that He came to be with us.  To live among us.  To die for our sins.  To be resurrected and give us the gift of eternal life.

Just because it is Christmas.  Receive the gift of Jesus.  Mingle your sadness with the hope that God is with you in your sadness.  You are not alone.  Just because it is Christmas, do not throw away the day because of how you feel.  Remind yourself that Jesus came today to understand and bring comfort to my heart.  Jesus came to be your Redeemer.  Jesus came as Emmanuel – “God is with us.”  Live in the moment of Christmas.  Take a moment and breathe in the presence of Jesus.  Pause and speak to your heart – “Jesus, you are with me today and every moment of each day.  I love you.”

Just because it is Christmas!!  Have a blessed Christmas! 

In It With Us

“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel which means God with us.”  Matthew 1:23

One of the joys for me at Christmas is singing Christmas carols.  They bring joy and memories as we sing together the songs of our childhood.  The first song I remember singing was “Away in a Manger” at church with other children for a Christmas program.  It is still one of my favorite Christmas carols.  I remember singing “Go, Tell It On the Mountain” every Christmas Sunday as a child because it was Walter Fox’s favorite song and he led the singing!  Christmas carols tell the story of that first Christmas and helps us picture the events and the people.  They are sung with joy as we focus on Jesus.  God’s love comes down at Christmas.  Jesus is the reason for the season.

One of my favorite choruses for Christmas is “Emmanuel” –

“Emmanuel, Emmanuel.  His name is called Emmanuel.  God with us, revealed in us.  His name is called Emmanuel.”

 Emmanuel – God is with us.  We sing these words and tell the story of Jesus’ birth.  Jesus is God with us.  God comes in human form.  We believe God loves us and came down at Christmas in the form of a baby to be like us and to become the perfect sacrifice for the sins of humanity.  We believe at Christmas, but what about when we are in the depths of grief, disease, trauma, pain, and feel overwhelmed?  It is difficult to remember God is with us when our focus is on the intensity of life.  It feels like we are alone trying to navigate the deep waters of life.  It may feel like just treading water and fear going under.  God may seem far away or at least not the focus.

I heard recently in a prayer, “God, you are with us and in it with us.”  That caught my attention.  God is in life with us.  That means God is in our grief with us.  God is in our disease with us.  God is in our pain with us.  God is in it with us no matter what “it” is.

When I sit in this thought of God being “in it with me,” it allows me to believe God is in my life – in every moment of my life.  God is in my writing (and your reading of it), my counseling, my running, my relationships, my cleaning, my driving.  In every moment, every task, every thought, every step.  Not just when I am aware and pray, but even when my focus is not on God.  God is still in it with me.

So, is God in Christmas with you?  Some of you just want Christmas to be over and are just trying to get through it because of your sadness and loss.  Nothing is the same.  The happiness of others is too much, and the happiness of the season eludes you.  God is still in it with you.  Some of you are focused on the outward displays and events of Christmas and are too busy to let God be in it.  Christmas has lost its meaning and has become just another event with family.

Christmas is in the season of Advent and is the first season of the Christian Church year.  Since it is the beginning, maybe it is time to look at this Christmas with a different focus.  Expect God to come into your world, your life and be in it with you.  Jesus came to be like us and to be in it with us.  God is not distant. Sometimes God is so close that we do not realize God is with us.  God is in life with you right now.

Let’s pause for a moment and say – “God, you are here with me now.  You are in my life and in what I am going through right now.”  Emmanuel, the name of Jesus, reminds us that God came to be with us and provide a way for us to always be with Him eternally.  What if this Christmas, you start right now recognizing God is in it with you.  Trust Him.  Ask Him.  Seek Him. Focus on Him.  Even in the struggle and the sadness, we have peace because wherever Jesus is there is peace, hope, joy, and love.  You may not feel it, but God is still there with you.

God is in it with you.  Emmanuel, God is with us.

 ****************************************************************************

Check out my website and my books – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Same Story

“Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”  Luke 2:19

When I think of the Christmas season, one story comes to the forefront of my memories.  When I was a teenager our house burnt down on Sunday, December 23rd.  My life changed in many ways that day.  I had no place to call home, and I lost all my material possessions.  My family had no home, but we still had a farm with animals that needed care.  I lived with my grandmother for three months.  My brother who was still living at home, went to live with another brother.  My parents lived in a small RV on the farm to care for the animals until other arrangements for a home could be made.

Out of the ashes of this tragedy, God still brought good.  Our church family and community rallied around our family and provided support and needed clothing and financial assistance.  At a young age, I learned that relationships are more important than possessions.  I have told this story many times throughout my life, but it reminds me not to focus on material possessions and that God can bring good out of the bad and brokenness of life.  The story never grows old as I remember God’s love and care through others during this tragedy.

Christmas is a time to share stories and memories.  Not everyone has happy memories, but God can bring good out of the bad.  God can redeem the memories.  Some people remember Christmas presents, Christmas programs at school and church, snow, favorite foods, worship services, and most of all the people with whom we shared the season.  We remember how we felt, and the emotions connected to the joy of the season.

When my siblings gather, we begin to share memories of Christmas and retell the stories.  We all tell the same story first.  The story always goes something like this – “remember when we had to buzz (cut) wood every Christmas morning before we could unwrap our presents.”  We heated our house with two wood stoves, and my dad knew he could get all of us to help with the wood when the motivation was Christmas presents.  It is the same story that never grows old.

 The story of the birth of Jesus is the same story that is told each year at Christmas.  This story never grows old.  It is timeless and never loses its relevance and power.  Mary and Joseph travel to Bethlehem.  Mary gives birth to Jesus and lays him in a manger.  The angels appear to the shepherds. The Shepherds come.  The wise men bring gifts.  God comes to earth in the form of a baby to redeem the world.  The story never grows old.  It never changes.  God still comes.

I wonder how many times Mary shared the story of Jesus’ birth throughout her life.  Telling of the angel appearing to her announcing that she was chosen to give birth to the Messiah. How Joseph did not leave her but believed her and the angel who appeared to him.  The journey to Bethlehem and giving birth, and all those who came to see the baby.  It was the same story that never grew old for Mary.  She treasured the memories.

Christmas is a time of memories and stories.  When we tell and retell the stories, Christmas becomes more than just a day.  The stories become alive again.  The memories are real and a part of who we are.  The memories are about relationships that gave meaning to our lives. 

Never stop sharing your memories.  Tell the same old story over and over again because it has meaning to your life.  You are who you are because of these memories and the people who are in these memories.  Your loved one comes alive again in your heart as you tell the same stories.  The stories reveal the love that never ends. 

 Christmas is a love story.  God loves us so much that He came to earth as a baby to redeem us.  Keep telling your story.  Keep telling the Christmas story.  Both stories are about the deep love that is in your heart. 

*****************************************************************************

My Books on Amazon- Great Christmas Gifts

 Live Different Moments

 Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

 Living In The Different       

 https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Coming Into View

“The virgin will be pregnant.  She will have a son, and they will name him Immanuel, which means “God is with us.”  Matthew 1:23

My hometown has a Fantasy of Lights display in the park each Christmas Season.  This year there are over one hundred displays created by local businesses, organizations, and families.  Last year, as we walked through and drove through the magical light display, I thought how cool it would be for my family to create a display.  We began to talk about it, and I gave the idea to my brother-in-law who created a plan.  With the creativity of my brother-in-law, my cousin, and lots of ideas from family, our family display was created.  The picture with this blog is our Christmas contribution to the park lights.  It turned out better than I had ever envisioned.

It is an Advent Wreath with the manger in the middle and a star for Jesus being the light of the world.  Beside the wreath is the cross with the words of the candles surrounding the cross.  Each Advent candle has a theme – Hope, peace, joy and love. During Advent (which means the coming or arrival) a candle is lit, and words are shared about the theme of the candle.  Jesus comes into the world to bring hope, peace, joy and love.  Everything you and I need today in our lives.

Hope – “And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts.” Romans 5:5

Peace – “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  John 14:27

 Joy – “The joy of the Lord is my strength.”  Nehemiah 8:10

 Love – “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

It took some time for the idea of the display to become a reality – literally the entire year. Finally, it came into view.  When we saw it lit up at night for the first time, it was amazing to see. We needed the darkness to see the beauty of it.  My prayer in the creation was that the display would be a witness to our faith in Jesus.  The Advent Wreath expresses the coming of Jesus as a baby with the cradle in the middle. The cross represents why Jesus came – to be the Savior of the world.  You cannot have the cradle without the cross.  Jesus was born to die for our sins.

 My hope was that it could make a difference.  I was filled with joy when we walked through the lights and stood beside the display.  A mom and her children came up to the display, and she explained to her children what the Advent wreath was and the words represented each candle.  As I listened, God’s love came into view.  I had such a peace that God had a purpose in this display.  I had experienced all the words of Advent – hope, joy, love and peace.

We have an idea of how we desire life or certain situations to be.  We have hope that it will turn out like we desire.  Sometimes it turns out better than expected and other times we struggle to comprehend what happened.  It doesn't make any sense to us.  We have all been there.  Some of you are in the middle of trying to find your life after your world was turned upside down.  It is so cloudy that you can barely see the next step to take.  The darkness seems overwhelming.  Sometimes we need to sit in the darkness of life before we can see God shine His light.

That is, sometimes we need the lights and sounds and distractions of the world to go dim, and we need to be still and just sit in the quiet and allow God to come to us.  God comes into view when we tune out the things that overwhelm and disturb our hope, joy, peace, and love.  It doesn’t mean life will be what you want it to be, but it does mean that God breaks into our darkness with His love.  God comes to us.  God may not change your circumstances, but God will change your heart and your thoughts.  God may still have you walk through the pain and the grief, but God promises to be with you and bring you peace in the midst of it.

As Christmas comes into view for you this year, focus on Jesus.  He is your hope in this broken world and in your heartache.  Jesus wants you to look beyond the broken pieces and see the hope of eternity – the hope that someday it will all come together into this beautiful masterpiece.  Jesus promises to give us his joy – not happiness that you have to create and try to pretend you feel.  It is joy that is deep within you – a sense of contentment that is not based on your circumstances.  This brings the peace of Jesus deep within your heart.

Christmas reminds us that we are loved.  God loves you.  God came down to earth to redeem us because He loves us.  Allow Jesus to come into view this Christmas.  Allow Jesus to break through your hurt and pain, through your dailyness of life, through your humbug attitude, through your tears, through your racing thoughts and bring you his hope, peace, joy and love.

Allow Jesus to come into view!

 ****************************************************************************

As you prepare to shop for Christmas gifts, remember small businesses.  Shop local.  Shop simple.

Books are a lasting gift.  Check out my books on my website and on Amazon –

              Living In The Different

              Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

              Live Different Moments

Grateful Pause

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.”  Psalm 107:1

It is the week of Thanksgiving, and you may not be feeling grateful and wanting to celebrate with friends and family.  You may be in the stages of grief, loss, illness, cancer, trauma, financial problems, or dealing with situations that overwhelm you.  It is difficult to see through this fog of worry, fear, and anxiety and be grateful this Thanksgiving.  Your head knows you have been blessed, but your heart aches and does not feel joyful.  This may bring feelings of guilt because you know others whose situation is worse than yours.

This may be the first Thanksgiving without your loved one.  I know so many of you that are experiencing the holiday season for the first time without your spouse, your special person.  You are not in a festive mood, but you want to be around your family.  Maybe it is time to take a grateful pause.  Remember, pause?  Pause means you stop doing what you are currently doing, thinking, or feeling and take a break.  The pause does not change your circumstances or your feelings, but it gives you an opportunity to breathe and focus on the good of your life.

The pause gives you permission to be grateful and reflect and remember.  You are not living in the past but being thankful for it.  It is being grateful for the time and memories and who you were in the past.  The past may have caused your current problems, then pause and look forward with hope believing God will redeem you and your past.

In this week of Thanksgiving, anchor yourself in your blessings, not your losses.  Being thankful and grateful has more to do with your attitude than your circumstances.  It is how you look at life.  It is pausing your sadness and grief and remembering the joy of life with your loved one.  It is looking at pictures, telling stories, remembering the laughter and the smiles, and giving thanks to God for the life you have loved and will always love.  Sadness will seep into the joy but that is how life is.  Joy and sorrow just mingle together.

Even though your life may not be what you had hoped or planned, you can be grateful you have life.  There is always something to be thankful for because you have breath and life and hope and Jesus.  When we focus on the past and what could have been and what we have done wrong or the wrong done to us, we miss the blessings in front of us.  When we focus on the future and the worry and anxiety it brings, we forget the present.  God is only with us in the present.  Just today. That is why the future brings such worry and anxiety because we do not see God in it.  Be thankful for today.  This moment.  Look around you and be grateful.  Even though it is not what you planned or hoped for; it is what you currently have so find the blessings in this moment.  You can be sad and still give thanks.

A grateful pause can become a way of life each day.  That is, pause each day and give thanks to God for the day.  God gave you life and breath to live this day.  It may not be how you envisioned life to be, but it is what you have today.  When it is difficult to see through the hurt and brokenness of your life, speak out loud about the things that are around you and give thanks.  Thank God for the chair you’re sitting in, the clothes you are wearing, your toothbrush and toothpaste.  Look out the window and be grateful for the trees, the sky, the birds, the leaves and whatever you see.  Pause your thoughts from your problems and focus on what is around you and speak in gratefulness for what you can see and that you have eyes to see.

It is being grateful for life even when you do not understand it.  I gave my friend a small one-inch Jesus made of rubber that I received from one of the local churches.  She is struggling with her health and her focus each day becomes her physical body.  It has been difficult to pray and focus on Jesus.  I told her that now she has a little Jesus always with her.  We all need a little Jesus. 

We have a big Jesus always with us.  It is being grateful when we do not feel God’s presence, that His Holy Spirit is always with us.  We are never alone.  God is good.  God is faithful.  God loves you, and God’s love endures forever. 

It is pausing and being grateful even when we do not understand life and have no answers to the “why” of life.  It is inhaling gratefulness and exhaling trust and obedience when we do not understand.

Pause in gratefulness.

 ****************************************************************************

As you prepare to shop for Christmas gifts, remember small businesses.  Shop local.  Shop simple.

Books are a lasting gift.  Check out my books on my website and on Amazon –

              Living In The Different

              Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

              Live Different Moments

Restoring My Joy

“Restore to me the joy of thy salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.”  Psalm 51:12

My friend is usually joyful and singing.  She always has a song in her heart which jumps out in her voice.  Her spirit radiates the light of Jesus from her heart.  She has lived with Jesus in her heart all her life.  Being with her always fills you with an excitement to live life to the fullest.  You have no doubt that God loves you and is with you when you are in her presence.  But my friend is struggling with illness and losing strength in her spirit.  She has no song in her head and is unable to sing.  Her joy is resting deep within her.

We have all been in this place at some time in our lives.  Some of you are fighting your own battle with illness, disease, cancer, and other physical struggles.  You are afraid to admit some of your feelings – “what did I do to deserve this?  Why me?  How can I keep going with all this pain?” You may not have an illness you are physically fighting, but you may be fighting emotionally within you.  You are struggling with day-to-day life.  Your anxiety gets the best of you some days.  Your depression keeps you from interacting with anyone.  You feel lonely and alone and joy is a stranger.

Grief may have become your unwelcome friend, and it follows you everywhere you go.  You may be trying to live into this different life, but it is not the life you planned.  You will always love your special person, always miss them, and miss the life you had and who you used to be.  You are trying to move forward in life.  You are trying to build a new way of life around the hole in your heart.  Joy comes in moments but is quieter.

Some of you may just be existing in life.  You have a routine.  You interact with friends and family.  You have favorite shows you watch.  You eat and take walks and take care of your home.  Life is fine, but joyful?  Not the word you would use.

Maybe we need to listen to the Psalmist who prays – “Restore to me the joy of thy salvation.”

To restore is to bring back or to return to its former condition.  To restore joy means that joy has been within us.  Nehemiah 8:10 says – “The joy of the Lord is my strength.”  It is God’s joy that is within us.  We don’t create joy, but we choose joy.  That is, we choose to allow the Lord’s joy to fill us.  God restores us to how He created us – full of joy.   To be restored means that we have hope in what we cannot see, feel, or believe could actually be true.

Joy is a gift from the Holy Spirit.  It is a deep sense of well-being not dependent upon our circumstances.  Joy is focused on faith in God and choosing to trust God in the struggles and suffering of life.  Yes, easier said than done.  Our head knows this truth, but our hearts don’t feel the joy.  We can believe it when we are not going through the suffering, but when we are in the midst of the pain, heartache, and struggle our focus becomes the physical.  We are trying to just survive the daily issues.

This is where we need to allow those around us to be our help and strength.  Allow others to pray for you and over you.  Your faith is not weak even if your body is.  Your faith is more than a feeling, and it is still within your spirit.  Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 4:16 – “Our physical body is becoming older and weaker, but our spirit inside us is made new every day.”  God is restoring our spirit daily because it is God’s Spirit that is within us.  You don’t need to do the work; God is the One working within you.  It is trusting God even when we don’t feel His presence, see any changes, or even have the energy to pray or think about God.  God already knows your spirit.  God knows your faith.  God knows your struggle.

God is restoring your joy.  When you cannot sing, God will sing over you – Zephaniah 3:17 – “God will rejoice over you.  You will rest in his love; he will sing and be joyful over you.”  Allow others to sing over you, too – whether physically with you or on your playlist.  Allow music to come into your spirit.  Music is the universal language of joy.  The rhythm touches your spirit.  Just be in the moment and allow the music and the words to say what you cannot say and to restore you in the moment.

In our restoration, we are seeking peace which is an inner contentment.  It is knowing your circumstances may not change, but it is just taking deep breaths and breathing in the Holy Spirit.  Words are not necessary.  Jesus brings his peace – “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. Let not your hearts be afraid.”  John 14:27 

Peace is joy resting.  I am learning to rest in the peace of Jesus.  Some days, the joy feels hidden inside, and other days joy jumps out in the moments that I live in the present.  Joy is more than being happy – happiness depends on circumstances and material possessions.  Joy is deep within when we focus on Jesus who gives us the fullness of joy.

Joy is peace dancing.  Peace is joy resting.

Casting A Shadow

“How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!  People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.”  Psalm 36:7

The shadow of death has been a distant companion over the past several months.  The shadow became closer as I have stepped into past relationships to walk with them in the journey of sorrow and grief. The darkness entered my heart through the deaths of those I have known throughout different chapters of my life.  Death always triggers memories of my own grief, and I remember those I hold close to my heart.  The shadow of death came through the death of a high school friend, a youth that was in my youth program, a neighbor, a work camp and youth leader, school connections, and church family and friends.

Then Mary died.  Her shadow contained a deep loss and sadness with her death, but I also saw a different shadow with Mary.  I felt and witnessed the shadow of love and holy presence. Mary cast a shadow of love wherever she went.  You were always within her shadow once she loved you.  You were always loved by Mary; she never let you go no matter your physical distance.  You became part of her circle of family.  Her shadow was one that enveloped you in love and acceptance.  It was a shadow from which you did not want to escape.  Mary just pulled you closer and you never said “no” to Mary.  She lived the words of Proverbs 31:28 – “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”

Mary made you feel at home in her presence.  When my friend, and also the officiating pastor, stood in the pulpit to share his message at her celebration of life, Russ said, “It is good to be home.” It was here he met Mary and her family, and he established his home for several years among this church family.  Mary and Carl became family. It was in this same church I met them and was first loved by them.  The feeling of being home is one of peace, contentment, and total acceptance.  It felt like home as I worshiped through Mary’s celebration of life.  Her children praised her and shared her humor and rules for life.

Mary loved Christmas. Let me say that again, MARY LOVED CHRISTMAS!!  And she loved to “Deck the Halls.”  You could never have too many Christmas trees according to Mary.  Her service concluded with the singing of “Deck The Halls.”  It was sung with joy, smiles and celebration.  It was sung to the glory of God and in remembrance of Mary who truly decked the halls of her home and the church for the celebration of the birth of Jesus.

Mary loved Jesus.  The church was full for her service, and her favorite hymns of faith were sung to the glory of God.  Mary cast a shadow of servanthood to the church, her family, her community, and most importantly to the glory of God.  Her shadow represented all that she touched with God’s love.  Wherever that shadow of love was cast, Mary was there to love and serve.

As I have reflected on Mary’s life, I am grateful God put Mary and her husband, Carl on my path.  Their love and commitment to one another was revealed in how Carl cared for Mary until the end.  Carl became Mary’s shadow of protection.  He sheltered her in the shadow of his wings, always caring for her and taking her with him even to meetings at the church.  Mary will always hold a special place in my heart.  She always made me feel loved.

It is in the shadow of God’s wings that the Psalmist states we find refuge.  The shadow of God protects us and also covers us with His love and grace.  To create a shadow, light is needed.  Jesus is the light of the world.  Jesus shines his light over the darkness of our lives.  The darkness of grief and sorrow, the darkness of change and loss, the darkness of anxiety and fear, the darkness of depression and loneliness.

Sometimes all we see is the darkness with no hope or way forward.  It is remembering that in these low times of life, God has protected us under his wings.  We need to step forward and allow the light of Jesus to cast a shadow of hope and love.  It is walking into life knowing the shadow is not of gloom and despair but of God’s love and grace protecting us.

The shadow of Mary’s love will remain in the hearts of all who loved her.  Mary challenges each one of us, to cast a shadow of love – God’s love – onto all those we encounter.  Mary reminds us even in disease, illness, pain and heartache, we are under the wings and protection of a loving God. 

Take refuge in the shadow of God’s wings.  Rest in His love.

 ****************************************************************************

If you or someone you know is going through grief, please purchase my book – Living In The Different.  It can be found on Amazon or my website.

Linger Longer

“I wait for the Lord to help me, and I trust his word.  I wait for the Lord to help me.”  Psalm 130:5-6

As I looked up into the early morning sky, I was mesmerized by the vast number of stars that lit the sky.  It was magical, and I just wanted to stand and stare into the sky.  As I ran that morning, I kept looking up and taking in the beauty of the morning stars.  Later that day, as we walked in the park, the sky was a brilliant blue with wispy angel wing clouds.  I was again in awe of God’s creation, and I felt a weight lift from my heart.  I wanted to just linger in the beauty and the feeling of peace without any thought of the worries in the world.

To linger is to stay in a place longer than planned because of a reluctance to leave.  It is to take one’s time, dilly-dally, stick around.  When one lingers, you pause and contemplate longer than usual.  You take your time and wait.  Something catches your eye or touches your heart and causes you to linger.  Do you ever linger, or are you always in a hurry, always busy with too much on your mind?  You do not like to waste time and wait for anything so lingering seems non-productive without purpose.

In grief, we linger – we need to take our time and just be.  We are reluctant to leave the past and the feelings and the life that was familiar and our normal routine.  Lingering is a healthy part of grief.  We linger in the memories, in the joy of shared life, and in the life we had.  We linger in our feelings and emotions.  We wait for the Lord’s help to guide us and to take our hand and walk with us through the pain and loss.  Sometimes we even linger at the cemetery not wanting to be there but not wanting to leave either.

Lingering should not be regarded as a negative trait.  It is part of a pause, but it contains more reflection and thought-provoking contemplation.  It slows us down to ponder what we see and feel.  We breathe in God’s creation and its beauty.  We get lost in the vastness, the simplicity, and the feelings of being embraced by God.  It is lingering in God’s Word – the Bible – and not just read the words and study its meaning, but to truly hear each word as spoken by God in our hearts.  God is speaking directly to you and me.  Linger in the hearing and the listening.

Linger in a song – allow the words and the rhythm of the beat and the melody to penetrate your soul and heal your broken and weary heart.  Music is healing.  Slow yourself down and close your eyes and take in the movement and depth of meaning of the song.  God can speak directly to you through a song.  No matter how you feel, there is a song that will speak to that emotion and help you. Linger in the feelings that music brings.  Linger in the songs that stimulate your worship.

Linger in prayer.  Don’t rush through giving a list to God and making prayer a task to be completed.  Prayer is conversation with the One who loves you the most.  It is like crawling up into the lap of your Heavenly Father and sharing your heart and listening to His words of love.  Linger in prayer.  Be still and quiet and listen.  Linger and receive God’s love and grace and acceptance.  Linger throughout the day in conversation with God.

Linger in memories.  Oh, the things that trigger a past memory. It is usually something simple or just a random thought that enters our minds, and we go to a memory.  Memories remind us that we were loved, we had relationships, we were young, we had experiences and adventures.  Give yourself permission to remember and linger in the good moments and remind yourself what you learned in the not so good memories.  Linger, remember, and give thanks.

Linger in conversations.  We tend to be quick in some of our interactions – “How are you?”  “Fine.”  “What’s been going on?”  “Just busy with family.”  “Great talking with you.”  “See you soon.”  Not much depth to this interaction.  Why are we always in a hurry?  Slow down and linger in conversations with people you love and have not seen for a while.  Listen to their hearts and share yours with them.  There is a reason you have a relationship.  Don’t ignore it and stop nurturing it.

Linger in God’s presence.  Yes, we linger in prayer as we talk and listen to God, but to linger in God’s presence does not involve words but awareness.  It is lingering in the sunset and smiling knowing God created it for you to see.  It is lingering in the beauty of the leaves and knowing God made each leaf and tree.  It is lingering in your emotions and feelings knowing God understands without speaking a word.  It is lingering in the moment knowing God is with you.  It is lingering in the sacred space with God.

 Linger at the table and talk with those seated around it. Find ways to linger and truly enjoy the moments of life instead of rushing through them.  Linger in your thoughts and allow yourself time to daydream and enjoy the stillness of your soul.  Linger in nature.  Linger with a loved one.  Linger in the memories.  Linger with Jesus.

Transitioning Home

Jesus said, “There are many rooms in my Father’s house; I would not tell you this if it were not true.  I am going there to prepare a place for you.”  John 14:2

Jesus said, “There are many rooms in my Father’s house; I would not tell you this if it were not true.  I am going there to prepare a place for you.”  John 14:2

Each month, I gather with my siblings to share food, conversation, and memories.  It is a privilege to hear stories of childhood from a different perspective and what happened before I was born or have memories.  Life changes, but the memories remain.  I have been back in my hometown for a year and am settled in my home, but my ministry heart is still transitioning back home.  My heart is still connected to people in previous ministries especially those who are transitioning from this world to the next place. 

Transitioning takes time.  My desire is to connect with the people of my community and visit those who have been part of my childhood and family.  My life has been filled with change and establishing relationships wherever God puts me.  It takes time to close one chapter before you open the next.  All the chapters of our lives form the book of our lives, and each chapter is needed to create the foundation of who we are.  When I receive a call from people of previous chapters of my life, my heart recalls the connection, and God calls me to step back into their lives.

This past week, I spent the afternoon with Ed and his daughter, Beth.  I have known them for years.  Ed is beginning the transition from this world.  It has been a slow transition over the past three years.  Ed knows his wife’s final wish before she went to Heaven was that he would join her someday in Heaven.  Being an engineer, Ed could never take the leap of faith and believe what he could not prove.  Over the past years, I have spent time talking with Ed about God and God’s love for him.  He has always accepted my prayers but never gave his heart to Jesus.

A few months ago, Ed started saying my name.  I visited him, and again we talked about Heaven and his next steps.  Ed was open to hearing but never taking the step.  So last week, when I visited Ed, he had declined, and it was obvious that he was beginning the process of change, and he knew it.  He wanted to say goodbye to his other two children and to thank them, so his daughter made the calls.  Then, God touched Ed’s heart.  As I talked with him about Jesus and that God loved him and had a place for him in heaven, Ed said for the first time, “I love Jesus.”  “Thank you, Jesus.”  Over and over, Ed said this with a tear coming out of his left eye.  For the first time in Ed’s life, he confessed his faith in simple childlike trust and words. Ed is transitioning to his heavenly home.  It took him three years to get to this surrender, but he will have eternity to live it out.

A friend sold the home that she lived in with her husband who died almost two years ago.  She lives in a condo now that does not feel like home.  We talked about it being her transition home – a place to live as she adjusts to her life without her husband.  It may become a place of comfort, or she may move again.  It is all temporary because she knows she has a permanent place awaiting her someday in Heaven.

To transition is to change.  It is a process.  We all transition throughout the stages and seasons of life.  We transition also emotionally and spiritually.  We change and grow, and we release and let go.  Grief is a process of change.  We are different because of loss and recognize love never dies.  Those we love are part of who we are, and they go with us the rest of our lives in our hearts.  Their spirit and energy remains a part of those with whom they loved.

Disease and illness brings change to our normal routine and our future plans.  My friend is going through cancer treatments, and her body is becoming weaker.  It is a struggle to eat and swallow.  Her desire is for healing and to glorify God in the journey.  She is teaching me to pray on my knees and give it all to God.  It is being honest with my desire for her to be healed on earth and to be restored to wholeness.  My prayers are transitioning to giving my friend to Jesus and trusting God has her.

Through all the transitioning and changes, I am understanding that home is being with Jesus.  I am not talking about just being with Jesus in Heaven which is our ultimate home but being home with Jesus in our hearts.  Our focus daily is being in the presence of Jesus and taking his hand and walking through the struggles of life.  It is changing our focus from the world and the anxiety and problems and allowing the things of this world to grow dim in the light of Jesus’ presence.  Be home not in the struggles and difficulties of life but be home with Jesus.  Home is where you feel comfortable, safe, and secure.  It is where you want to go and rest and just be yourself.  When we are home with Jesus on earth, then when it is time to transition home to heaven it will be a natural transition. 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.  Be home with him now.

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus.  Look full in His wonderful face.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and peace.”

*****************************************************************************

Check out my newspaper columns on my website along with my books and past blogs.

Eyes Backward

“When they are old, they will still produce fruit; they will be healthy and fresh.”  Psalm 92:14

 This past week marked the anniversary of the death of my mom.  It is hard to believe she has been in Heaven for 19 years.  Sometimes it feels like just yesterday, and other times it feels like forever.  Each year, I reflect on who I am because of my mom’s influence and love.  My mom was the first one to teach me about Jesus and how to pray.  My mom lived her faith quietly but with conviction and inner strength.  She loved music, and I always listen to Gospel music on her anniversary.  As I was listening to music on YT Music, the song “His Eye Is On The Sparrow” was played.  This song was sung by my sister-in-law at my mom’s funeral.  Then I prayed, “God, if “Victory In Jesus” is played next, I will know mom is with me.”  It was her favorite song, and yes, it came up next not just once but twice.  God gave me the assurance and a smile of joy.  God answers even the smallest of prayers to give us what we need.

My sister posted the picture that is beside this blog of my mom on the anniversary of her death.  It is the only picture we have of her as a child.  My mom’s mother died when my mom was five years old, and her father was unable to take his children with him, so my mom was raised by an uncle and a cousin.  Her eyes in this picture speak loudly.  She was a child who had just lost her mother and her whole world had changed.  My mom kept those feelings and experiences within her.

My mom taught me so much about daily living, faith, and how to live life.  One thing she taught me was to respect my elders and to listen to their stories and learn from their lives.  As a child, we always made visits on older relatives and spent time with my Grandma.  Our elders were respected, and they shared stories that I wish I had written down.  As I look backward, I may not remember the stories, but I remember the relationships and the love.  These older people became a part of my foundation of life, and because of my mom’s respect for them, I have spent most of my adult life and ministry connected with the oldest generation.

I recently had a visit day with six of my ninety something and almost ninety something friends and those who I continue to watch over and connect with from previous ministry relationships.  When I visit, this is when I feel God’s presence and spirit with me.  I feel like I am living out my passion and calling in life.  I love to make visits with people in their home environment.  They are relaxed and welcoming and open to sharing their life and stories. 

The stories were filled with memories and as I looked into their eyes, I saw the distant view in their reflection.  They were with me, but their thoughts and eyes were looking backward to the memories of husbands now in heaven and the life they shared together.  Sue’s memories are not in the present, and her eyes were sad with emotion.  As we sang and prayed, her eyes were fixed on Jesus and Heaven.  With others, I heard memories of childhood, meeting their husbands, and remembering how her husband made her laugh.  Their eyes were filled with memories as they reflected backward.  Those relationships are what sustains them today.

Our elders tell stories from their past to teach us.  We need to listen and ask questions and learn about their lives and how God walked with them and helped them through the tragedies and trials of their lives.  Just because they are not as active and involved now, their eyes still sparkle with life and memories and words of wisdom if we listen.  Look into the eyes of those who are telling you stories of their past and you will see the deep love that lives within their hearts.

 When we look back, our eyes are filled with memories that bring tears of joy and sadness mingled together.  We live in the present with our hearts remembering and our feet firm on the foundation from those who have poured their love into our lives.

When we reach out and visit those who are in their twilight years, we bring joy to their moments.  It also helps us to get out of our own heads and moods and focus on someone else.  Ask them questions about their lives and allow them to share and remember.  After you leave, they will sit in those memories and give thanks for the relationships of their lives.  We receive from them a blessing, and they have an opportunity to share and relive those experiences.  It is a gift of connection and reminds them they still have value and worth.

 Allow your eyes to look backward and remember while firmly planted into today.  Make the visit.  Listen to the stories. Allow someone’s life to continue to produce fruit.  My mom’s life continues to have purpose and meaning as I live out what she taught me through her words and actions.

 ****************************************************************************

Check out my books, other blogs and newspaper articles on my website -

www.livinginthedifferent.com

Stumbling Through

“To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy.”  Jude 1:24

On my last morning at the beach, I got up before the sunrise to run on the beach.  Nobody was on the beach yet, and the sun was just beginning to bring color to the sky.  The wind was strong, and the waves were crashing on the shore.  I began to run, and my foot went down into a hole caused by the water and the soft sand.  I fell forward into the sand.  Got up and continued my run.  Then I took my phone out of my pocket while I was running to take a picture of the sunrise.  As I was putting my phone back and began to run again, my foot went into a sand rut, and I fell again dropping my phone which bounced off the sand and hit me above my left eye.  I was done running and decided to just walk.  My foot went into another hole and down I went.  I was thankful it was only sand and water. 

What started out as a beautiful way to end my beach trip by running on the beach at sunrise, turned into three falls, a bruise around my eye and a knot above my eye, and sore arms and wrists from catching my fall.  We all stumble and sometimes fall physically.  The falls can leave us bruised, with broken bones, crushed egos, and afraid to attempt it again.  We stumble and our bodies pay the price.  Sometimes we stumble because we should not be doing what we are doing.  I should not have run in the soft sand with crashing waves.

We stumble in many ways in life.  To stumble is to momentarily lose one’s balance.  We physically lose our balance and almost fall.  We stumble in making decisions, in relationships, in our words.  We attempt to do what is right and good, but we mess up.  We start the day being positive and grateful to God.  We are upbeat and then something goes wrong.  We may make a mess of something, get irritated, or lose our temper.  We stumble and lose focus.

We stumble in our faith, too.  We want to follow Jesus and be aware of His presence daily.  Our desire is to glorify God in all we say and do.  But words come out of our mouths or are in our thoughts that are not respectful or holy.  We get angry with others and the government, the news, the neighbors and even God.  We stumble.

To stumble is to fall into sin and allow obstacles to get in our way.  There are stumbling blocks that separate us from living the life God called us to live.  We get off balance.  Life does not turn out the way we had hoped or planned.  Bad things happen.  Disease and death make us lose our balance, and we stumble through the trials life gives us.

 We get up and try again after we stumble, but many times we keep doing the same thing repeatedly expecting life to be different.  When we repeat, we seem to keep stumbling.  Just like I did on the beach.  I did not learn the first time that the wind and waves were too strong to run that morning and it was causing the sand to be too soft to run.  I did not learn from my first stumble.

Sometimes, we keep stumbling and are off balance because we are attempting to make it on our own.  We tell ourselves that we should be strong enough and have enough willpower to keep going.  We attempt to prove to ourselves that we can do it.  We should have enough stamina and endurance to keep going and to pick ourselves up if we stumble.  There are times when life seems to be winning and when we stumble, we just want to stay down and cry and give up.  We have all been there even if we don’t want to admit it to anyone else or even to ourselves.  We have been there when a loved one dies, when disease takes over a loved one’s body, when tragedy strikes.

 It is surrendering to God and crying out, “Help.  I need you to come and pick me up.  I keep stumbling.”  God doesn’t tell us to pick ourselves up or that we should be stronger and to stop crying.  No, God reaches down in our stumbling and brushes off the sand and holds us up until we can get our balance.  God gives us His strength through the Holy Spirit.

Balance.  It is not just physical.  We lose our balance and fall.  We get off balance in our thoughts, our feelings, our emotions, and how we deal with life.  Sometimes what is small and insignificant becomes the focus.  We get lost in things that will not matter tomorrow or next week.  We stumble through life and lose focus on what is important.  It is not what we achieve or the busyness of tasks that gives life meaning.  It is Jesus – His love and relationship.  We are loved because of whose we are – God’s children.  When we stumble and mess up, God’s love and grace forgives us and restores us. 

Stumble into the arms of Jesus.  Spend time with Jesus.  Allow Jesus to hold you up until you get your balance. Jesus won’t leave us, but Jesus will continue to beside us to catch us when we stumble.

 ****************************************************************************

Check out my weekly newspaper column on my website and my books which are available on Amazon.  If you or someone you know has experienced loss – please share my book with yourself or someone going through grief – Living In The Different.

A Place to Pause

“At that time Jesus went off to a mountain to pray, and he spent the night praying to God.” 

Luke 6:12

Pause means you stop doing what you are currently doing.  You take a break.  For example – you pause a song to take a phone call and then return to the song by pushing the play button.  I took a pause this past week.  I just stopped my routine and went to the beach for a week.  Then I came back and hit “play” with my day-to-day life.  Pause does not mean we change anything; we just stop for a moment and do something else.

In the pause, I focused on just being present in God’s creation.  I ran on the beach.  Biked along the beach path.  Sat on the beach and walked in the water and waves.  Sat on the beach to watch the sunset and the moon rise and the stars which become brighter in the darkness.  I witnessed the beauty God created for our pleasure and heard the power of the water and the waves.  God is in the light, and God shines in the darkness.

Let me share with you some of my reflections during the pause at the beach –

God’s power is revealed in the power of the wind and the waves.  God’s power is intense, and it is stronger than anything we experience in life.  God is stronger than the burdens and problems we face.  Sometimes you just have to go into the wind and storms of life and face them.  When you turn around, God’s wind pushes you forward.  You cannot see the wind of God’s Spirit just like you cannot see the wind at the beach, but you see the results of the wind.  Allow the power of God to blow through you and be your guide and strength.

The waves always come.  Sometimes they are stronger and pound the shore, and other times the waves wash slowly onto the beach.  Sometimes the waves are gentle and sometimes they are intense.  God always comes into every situation.  Sometimes God comes very gently and quietly, and we need to look for Him, and other times we are more aware of God’s presence.  God is always with us.

 The sand is not solid, and it is easy to sink into the sand.  We feel at times that we sink in life, too.  We need God’s firm foundation to pull us out of the things of this world that cause us to sink.

The beach is beautiful with the water, the sand, the shells, but what completes the beauty is the clouds in the sky and the blueness of the sky.  You need to look up and sigh and breathe in the Holy Presence of God.  The clouds form all types of designs but what I enjoy the most are the angel wing clouds – light, wispy clouds that look like angel wings.  It reminds me that angels are all around us, but we do not always see them.  Angels are messengers and protectors of God.

Even in the pause, I kept moving.  I walked on the beach and in the water slowly.  I biked through the neighborhoods.  Movement reminds us we are alive and have purpose in the day.  Movement is also interaction.  Even in the pause, smile and be kind and receive the greeting in return.  It refreshes your view of the world.

Dark clouds come even at the beach.  We have cloudy and sad days in our spirit too.  It is giving yourself permission to have these sad moments.  Life will always have them.  Recognize your spirit can be sad.  I realized in my pause my spirit was sad because of those in my life experiencing sickness, cancer, aging issues, unexpected deaths.  The situations life brings are different than we had hoped and expected.  We may function well on the outside, but inside our spirits are sad.  Pause in the sadness.

In my pause, God refreshed me in His creation and warmed my spirit in His sunshine.  I found a place to pause.  I stopped for a moment.  I breathed in God’s Spirit.  My spirit began to heal as I stepped even closer to Jesus.

Jesus had a place to pause.  Jesus went into the mountains to be alone with His Father.  We need to learn from Jesus and follow His example.  You may not be able to physically go somewhere because of your circumstances, but you can pause in your day and find a space to be alone with your Heavenly Father.  Pause within your spirit and breathe in the power and healing presence of your Heavenly Father who loves you.

The pause helps to focus on what is important.  It gives an acceptance of your purpose.  It helps to recognize God’s power and that God is with you.  God has you.  Sometimes you need to pause from the routine and the things that overwhelm and get your attention and focus on what is most important – Jesus.  It is just me and Jesus.

 “Me and Jesus” – sung by Brad Paisley

 Me and Jesus got our own thing going.  Me and Jesus got it all worked out.  Me and Jesus got our own thing going. And we don’t need anybody to tell us what it’s all about.”

Take a pause with Jesus.

 ***************************************************************************

Please check out my books on Amazon and share one with someone going through grief and changes in life – Living In The Different, Live Different Moments, Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Taking A Pause

“After Jesus had sent them away, he went by himself up into the hills to pray.  It was late, and Jesus was there alone.”  Matthew 14:23

A friend posted on Facebook that she took a “Pause Day.”  She had been so caught up in the busyness of life that she forgot to just be present.  She paused and slowed herself down and refreshed herself in the beauty around her.  She gave herself a gift and a reminder that being busy is not always the purpose in life.

We live in a society that celebrates being busy.  If you tell someone you’ve been busy, they think that’s great.  Is it really?  What are you busy doing and is it what you enjoy and want to live your life doing? Yes, we need to make a living and work and take care of our responsibilities, but do we ever pause and enjoy the life that is around us?

 Do you pause when you are overwhelmed and feel the heavy burdens of the day and go outside and just look up?  Yes, there is such healing and calmness that comes over us when we look up.  We only see the sky, the clouds, the sun, the trees, and at night the moon and stars.  We see nothing made by human hands.  The pause and looking up usually includes a sigh.  Wow!  This beauty was made for this moment just for me.

 If you have a “To Do List” either written down or in your head, you continue to mark off what you accomplished, but you also add more to the list.  Our “to do list” is never complete.  There is always something to do, so when you say, “I’ll take a break when everything is done.”  There is never a time everything is done.  There are times when tasks are completed, and you feel good about taking a break.  But for some of you, your thoughts are racing toward what needs to be done and anxiety builds when you are not busy.

 Our thoughts and mind need a pause along with our physical bodies.  We can get so caught up in what society says is important that we lose sight of our priorities and what gives life purpose and meaning.  The “crowd” in our lives is social media, our own expectations and what we think others expect from us.  We get lost and need to take a pause.

 Jesus in Matthew 14:23, sends the crowd away.  Jesus has just feed the five thousand people with bread and fish by multiplying a little boy’s lunch.  Jesus has taught them, and he has a group of people who are filled with emotion and are ready to make Jesus King and follow Him.  Jesus could have stayed and baptized and converted the thousands – that’s what society would have wanted him to do.  Make a name for himself, become popular, get busy and set up a plan to overthrow the Roman Empire.  But instead, Jesus sends the crowd away and goes up into the hills to pray.

Jesus is teaching us something very important.  The world and other people can tell you what is important and what they think is good for you. What is vital to who you are and whose you are. There are a lot of good opportunities to keep you busy and places to volunteer and lots of stuff to do and buy and…..the list is endless which creates the busyness of life.  It is pausing in life and deciding what is vital and what is your priority.  Jesus teaches us that sometimes you need to pause and say “no” to the demands of life and yes to time with God.

 It is time to take some pause days or moments.  Reflect on what has you feeling overwhelmed, busy, weary, troubled, burdened, and anxious.  Are these your priorities in life or are you busy doing what everyone else expects?  Are you carrying the load that God did not mean for you to carry alone?  Are you depending on God even in the struggles and pains of life?  Pause and give God glory and trust Him even when you do not understand why you have to go through it.  Pause, and say, “I trust you, Jesus.”  Pause and look up.  Pause and step away into the hills and pray.  Pause and go on an adventure.

 We tend to let stuff that doesn’t really matter be in control.  Pause and step back.  If you do not find joy and Jesus in what you see in your life, maybe it’s time to pause and listen to God’s Spirit and voice within you.  Jesus did.  What was a good opportunity was not His purpose.  His purpose was to suffer and die for you and me.  His purpose was the cross.

 Pause in this season of your life.  Get a drink of water.  Sit on your porch.  Sit at the beach.  Sit in your favorite chair.  Take a boat ride.  Take a walk.  Go for a bike ride.  Read a book.  Pray.  Talk with God.  Have a conversation with Jesus.  Life is broken and fallen and tough, but God is still good and God is with you.  Pause and release and re-focus.  Listen to God.  Move closer to the people God puts in front of you.

Let’s pause.

Check out my Newspaper Articles in The Daily Chief Union and on my website along with my books – www.livinginthedifferent.com

I appreciate all of you who read my column, blog, and books!

Showers of Blessings

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.”   I Corinthians 13:7-8

We celebrated my great niece’s wedding this weekend.  She asked me to participate in the wedding service, and I was honored to do so since I had officiated in the wedding of her parents.  I shared Scriptures, prayed a blessing over their marriage, and then shared some words of wisdom about relationships -

Remember these important aspects of a relationship. Communication is central.  Share your day, your feelings, your frustrations, your dreams and your goals.  Share. Share. Share.  Have a foundation for your personal life and your marriage.  Keep yourselves grounded in your faith in God, your values, your family, and your belief in each other.  Don’t assume.  Share and talk through and don’t assume the other one understands it or will see it the same as you.  Compromise.  Share how you feel and listen to the other person.  Be each other’s encourager.  Be united and build up each other.  See the good in one another and share it.  Enjoy life and take adventures.  Live, don’t just exist.  Life is more than work.  Love.  Love.  Love.

 The ceremony was beautiful and now complete, and we were sharing the meal.  Then God showered the dry earth with a rain shower and then a rainbow right over the venue.  I told my niece that God was showering his love and blessing upon her marriage.

 As I sat in the reception hall with my brothers and extended family, I was reflective.  I was sitting in the little town where my mom went to High School.  I drove by the school on my way to the wedding.  Just a few miles down the road was where my mom grew up and went to Church.  God had showered his blessings on me by giving me such a special mom who loved me and loved Jesus and shared that love with others.  At the reception was a picture of my mom and dad.  They are the foundation for my siblings and their families.

I remember the love my mom and dad had for one another.  They were married almost 52 years when my dad died.  They worked together on the farm, provided for their children, raised their family in the church, and were grounded in their love for Jesus.  I remember hearing them read devotions together and pray together.  They laughed, they cried, they disagreed, they enjoyed adventures, and they lived together in love.  No relationship is perfect, but my parents allowed God to shower blessings upon their lives and marriage.

I give thanks to God for allowing me to experience the blessings of marriage and love.  The love God gives to us to share with others remains in our hearts forever.  Love never dies.  Love just takes a different form.

Sometimes the showers do not feel like blessings.  My niece did not see the showers at her reception as a blessing at first because people were to be outside for the dancing and fun.  It was just delayed for a while.  It is the same for all of us, when something happens unexpectedly or not as we had hoped or planned, we do not see God’s hand or blessing immediately.  It takes time to heal and ponder and reflect.  It is remembering that God brings good – His blessings – out of the heartache and bad.  It takes time to see it because we only see and feel the hurt and pain.  This is grief.  As we give ourselves time to heal from the loss, the gentle shower of God’s love helps us see the good coming out of what we just went through.  It does not mean that what happened was good, it just means that good came out of what happened.

 God blesses us each day with the gift of life and breath.  God blesses us with His love that is always in our hearts.  God blesses us with grace and forgiveness through His Son, Jesus.  God blesses us with His presence through the Holy Spirit.  God blesses us with relationships – people who walk with us in love and encourage us when we struggle and just love us for who we are.

God has showered blessings upon our dry earth and dry lives.  We all go through dry times and hard times in life where our focus is on the pain and suffering and brokenness of life.  God is still present.  God is still God.  We just need to trust when we do not understand.  God will always love you.  Love never dies, and love never ends.

 ****************************************************************************

 Check out my weekly newspaper column in the Daily Chief Union Newspaper which is downloaded to the website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Reflecting Forward

“I command you to be strong and brave.  Don’t be afraid, because the Lord your God will be with you everywhere you go.”  Joshua 1:9

A friend is experiencing the first Anniversary of her husband’s death.  She was numb and in shock a year ago, and now she is feeling the intensity of reality.  She survived all the firsts and now she is trying to live forward in this different life.  You think when you make it through the first year that it should be easier now.  Sorry, but not always true.

You survived the first year, which is a huge accomplishment, and then you begin to experience the feelings of reality.  You ask, “Now, who am I?” and “What do I do?”  You have more questions than answers.  Life is so different than you had hoped or expected.  Relationships have changed.  You have changed.  How you view life and what is really important begins to take on a unique perspective.  You just see things through a different lens than you did before loss.  You are more reflective and attempt to make decisions based on what you want or need.  It just feels strange.

This week is the tenth Anniversary of the death of my husband, Dave.  Time is measured by love not years in grief.  It has become a reflective time in my thoughts.  To be reflective is to ponder and think deeply about what has transpired and my decisions, where I have been, and what is now important to me forward.

When life changes, we tend to first reflect on how to just survive and get through the changes, chaos, and hopefully find a sense of peace.  In the beginning, I was just making it through each day and trying to create a new routine.  I was still numb and went through the motions of life.  Some of you may be in this time of reflection.  Give yourself permission to just be.  Your body and mind need time to heal, and I believe God created the feelings of being numb as a time of rest from the chaos and allow your thoughts and body to catch up with each other.  Take the time.

 We are also reflective of the past and focus on regret and guilt.  We beat ourselves up thinking we should have done it differently, we could have been more aware of, and if we had only known, we would have….  We have all lived in this reflective stage and sometimes stay in the “why” questions of what happened.  It is good to reflect and admit to ourselves these feelings.  You cannot change anything by asking the questions or change in your minds what you should have or could have done.  You did not do it, and it is in the past.  Learn from it.  Forgive yourself and others and move forward.  Release the questions.

When our reflections focus on the reality of life and what happened, we begin to feel the intensity of the pain and loss.  It is real.  We cannot escape or deny it.  It is allowing ourselves to feel the pain, the hurt, the heartache, and all the other emotions that come with loss and change.  Feel these feelings and recognize that others around you may not understand, but there are those who have walked the journey who provide the needed support or affirmation that what you are going through is OK.  It is just where you are right now.  It is slowly releasing these emotions and allowing God to walk with you through them.

As I have journeyed through grief, one of the healing times has been my realization that Dave is living in Heaven with Jesus.  He has a new life in the presence of God and is peaceful and content.  When I accepted that he was living in Heaven and I was living on earth, it gave me hope and comfort that life continues in a different form for both of us.  Heaven is real.  Dave saw a glimpse of it before he died and was ready to go home to be with Jesus and those who were in Heaven before him.  It gave me permission to live on earth knowing he was living in heaven.

 As I reflect over the past ten years, I have made decisions that now I wish I had not done, but I give myself grace that my grieving brain made decisions based on thoughts and feelings at the time.  Reflecting backward is clearer than when the decisions were made.  I have learned from them and forgiven myself and asked for forgiveness.  God has redeemed them for good to help others on the journey.

 Reflecting has also brought an acceptance.  It was not what I wanted, but it is what I got.  God has brought good out of the grief.  God has given me a new purpose and direction by helping and counseling others on the grief journey.  God gave me the concept – “living in the different” and the words to write the book on loss and grief – Living In The Different.  My prayer has been that my journey will help another person walk through the grief and live forward into the different life.  Grief goes with us all our lives, but we learn to live with it and incorporate it into our lives.

There will always be sad moments and triggers that makes us more reflective and quiet.  They happen because of love.  Love never dies.  Dave will always be a part of my heart and foundation of my life.  God reminds me every day that his love is with me especially when I read Joshua 1:9 – his favorite scripture, see a hawk, or see 733 on the clock (his unit number). 

I am reflecting forward in life.  I accept that life is what it is.  I cannot change the past.  I can release the past, redeem the past, rejoice in the past, and be grateful for the past.  It is a part of who I am.  I can only live forward with God walking with me.  God is with me and with you everywhere we go.  Live forward into the life you now have.

 ****************************************************************************

Check out my books on Amazon or through my website.

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper (Stories and memories of Dave)

Living In The Different (Grief and Loss)

Live Different Moments (Living Forward into life)

Helping Broken

“Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor ruling spirits, nothing above us, nothing below us, not anything else in the whole world will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:38-39

I officiated at a funeral this weekend that broke my heart.  His life reflected the love of Jesus, and his serving made a difference in the lives of many people.  His own struggle and pain became overwhelming to him.  His life had meaning and purpose and will continue to make a difference in this world.  I share some of my thoughts and words from his service………

We each have some type of inner turmoil.  We want to make a difference and put the pieces of life together.  We strive to be enough, serve enough, and give enough.  We think we fall short so many times and feel less than we expect we should be.  We think we should be able to handle situations on our own and be strong enough to withstand the storms of life.  We want to prove to God we are capable.  But fear takes over.  Sometimes we choose fear over faith which is part of depression.

We all have struggles in some way in life.  We believe in Jesus and know God is with us in life, but we fall short of totally surrendering every aspect of our lives to Jesus.  We don’t give him our struggles because we think we should not struggle as a believer, or we should be strong enough to fulfill our purpose in life on our own.

We live in a broken and fallen world.  The struggles, fears, hurts, and daily life can overwhelm us.  We know in our heads that Jesus is the answer to everything, and Jesus is with us.  But we are ashamed when we feel the struggles, and think we are not trusting Jesus enough.  We are not good enough and don’t have enough faith.  Depression, anxiety, and addictions are the diseases from this broken world.  They take over.  Depression is the fear of the past that we are not enough and not good enough and will never be.  Anxiety is the fear of the future causing us to worry about what will happen and will we find our purpose.  Addictions are the fear of living now so we escape through one of the many addictions.

God created us to live in community with one another.  When we cannot hear Jesus, someone else can and will come and walk beside us.  Listen to them speak the name of Jesus and his love and grace into your heart and life.  Asking for help is not a weakness, but it shows courage.  Do not be afraid and feel shame when you reach out for help.  Life is hard at times, and nobody is perfect nor required to be.  God’s grace is sufficient.  We need to give grace to ourselves. 

When someone offers to help you in the struggles of life, accept the offer.  Do not let pride stand in the way of getting help in your struggles.  God made us to need each other and to depend on each other to help us grow closer to God.

Nothing separates us from God’s love.  No matter what you do or do not do, God loves you.  God’s love and grace is not based on our performance.  It is not based on who we are but on whose we are – God’s child.

 If you are struggling with life today – with depression, fear, anxiety, addiction – whatever it is, reach out for help.  If you know someone who is struggling, reach out to them again and don’t give up.  Our purpose in life is to love Jesus and be in relationship with Jesus and one another.  Each day our purpose is to be in the presence of God and to experience God’s love for us.  It is out of this love that we serve and glorify God.

If you are struggling in your walk with Jesus and feeling that you are not good enough and not measuring up.  Your anxiety, depression and fear is consuming you.  God still loves you.  Nothing, not even depression, anxiety and fear separates you from God’s love for you.  Allow God to come to you through those around you.  Ask for help. You may not think you can help someone else when you feel broken, but sometimes that is what another person needs – someone who has struggles but is depending on Jesus in them.  Allow God to carry you through the struggles.  Surrender and receive God’s grace and forgiveness.

You are loved.  You are God’s child.  You are in relationship with others who will walk beside you and love you with the love of God.

Come Jesus Come

“Sometimes I fall to my knees and pray, Come Jesus come.  Let today be the day.  Sometimes I feel like I’m gonna break. But I’m holding on to a hope that won’t fade.  Come Jesus come.”

 ____________________________________________________________________________

Need some help?

·       Read my blogs and newspaper articles – www.livinginthedifferent.com

·       Reach out to a friend or pastor or counselor

·       Suicide and Crisis Hotline – 988 (Call or Text)

·       National Mental Health Hotline – 1-866-903-3787

·       National Alliance On Mental Illness Helpline – 1-800-950-6264