Transitioning Home

Jesus said, “There are many rooms in my Father’s house; I would not tell you this if it were not true.  I am going there to prepare a place for you.”  John 14:2

Jesus said, “There are many rooms in my Father’s house; I would not tell you this if it were not true.  I am going there to prepare a place for you.”  John 14:2

Each month, I gather with my siblings to share food, conversation, and memories.  It is a privilege to hear stories of childhood from a different perspective and what happened before I was born or have memories.  Life changes, but the memories remain.  I have been back in my hometown for a year and am settled in my home, but my ministry heart is still transitioning back home.  My heart is still connected to people in previous ministries especially those who are transitioning from this world to the next place. 

Transitioning takes time.  My desire is to connect with the people of my community and visit those who have been part of my childhood and family.  My life has been filled with change and establishing relationships wherever God puts me.  It takes time to close one chapter before you open the next.  All the chapters of our lives form the book of our lives, and each chapter is needed to create the foundation of who we are.  When I receive a call from people of previous chapters of my life, my heart recalls the connection, and God calls me to step back into their lives.

This past week, I spent the afternoon with Ed and his daughter, Beth.  I have known them for years.  Ed is beginning the transition from this world.  It has been a slow transition over the past three years.  Ed knows his wife’s final wish before she went to Heaven was that he would join her someday in Heaven.  Being an engineer, Ed could never take the leap of faith and believe what he could not prove.  Over the past years, I have spent time talking with Ed about God and God’s love for him.  He has always accepted my prayers but never gave his heart to Jesus.

A few months ago, Ed started saying my name.  I visited him, and again we talked about Heaven and his next steps.  Ed was open to hearing but never taking the step.  So last week, when I visited Ed, he had declined, and it was obvious that he was beginning the process of change, and he knew it.  He wanted to say goodbye to his other two children and to thank them, so his daughter made the calls.  Then, God touched Ed’s heart.  As I talked with him about Jesus and that God loved him and had a place for him in heaven, Ed said for the first time, “I love Jesus.”  “Thank you, Jesus.”  Over and over, Ed said this with a tear coming out of his left eye.  For the first time in Ed’s life, he confessed his faith in simple childlike trust and words. Ed is transitioning to his heavenly home.  It took him three years to get to this surrender, but he will have eternity to live it out.

A friend sold the home that she lived in with her husband who died almost two years ago.  She lives in a condo now that does not feel like home.  We talked about it being her transition home – a place to live as she adjusts to her life without her husband.  It may become a place of comfort, or she may move again.  It is all temporary because she knows she has a permanent place awaiting her someday in Heaven.

To transition is to change.  It is a process.  We all transition throughout the stages and seasons of life.  We transition also emotionally and spiritually.  We change and grow, and we release and let go.  Grief is a process of change.  We are different because of loss and recognize love never dies.  Those we love are part of who we are, and they go with us the rest of our lives in our hearts.  Their spirit and energy remains a part of those with whom they loved.

Disease and illness brings change to our normal routine and our future plans.  My friend is going through cancer treatments, and her body is becoming weaker.  It is a struggle to eat and swallow.  Her desire is for healing and to glorify God in the journey.  She is teaching me to pray on my knees and give it all to God.  It is being honest with my desire for her to be healed on earth and to be restored to wholeness.  My prayers are transitioning to giving my friend to Jesus and trusting God has her.

Through all the transitioning and changes, I am understanding that home is being with Jesus.  I am not talking about just being with Jesus in Heaven which is our ultimate home but being home with Jesus in our hearts.  Our focus daily is being in the presence of Jesus and taking his hand and walking through the struggles of life.  It is changing our focus from the world and the anxiety and problems and allowing the things of this world to grow dim in the light of Jesus’ presence.  Be home not in the struggles and difficulties of life but be home with Jesus.  Home is where you feel comfortable, safe, and secure.  It is where you want to go and rest and just be yourself.  When we are home with Jesus on earth, then when it is time to transition home to heaven it will be a natural transition. 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.  Be home with him now.

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus.  Look full in His wonderful face.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and peace.”

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Eyes Backward

“When they are old, they will still produce fruit; they will be healthy and fresh.”  Psalm 92:14

 This past week marked the anniversary of the death of my mom.  It is hard to believe she has been in Heaven for 19 years.  Sometimes it feels like just yesterday, and other times it feels like forever.  Each year, I reflect on who I am because of my mom’s influence and love.  My mom was the first one to teach me about Jesus and how to pray.  My mom lived her faith quietly but with conviction and inner strength.  She loved music, and I always listen to Gospel music on her anniversary.  As I was listening to music on YT Music, the song “His Eye Is On The Sparrow” was played.  This song was sung by my sister-in-law at my mom’s funeral.  Then I prayed, “God, if “Victory In Jesus” is played next, I will know mom is with me.”  It was her favorite song, and yes, it came up next not just once but twice.  God gave me the assurance and a smile of joy.  God answers even the smallest of prayers to give us what we need.

My sister posted the picture that is beside this blog of my mom on the anniversary of her death.  It is the only picture we have of her as a child.  My mom’s mother died when my mom was five years old, and her father was unable to take his children with him, so my mom was raised by an uncle and a cousin.  Her eyes in this picture speak loudly.  She was a child who had just lost her mother and her whole world had changed.  My mom kept those feelings and experiences within her.

My mom taught me so much about daily living, faith, and how to live life.  One thing she taught me was to respect my elders and to listen to their stories and learn from their lives.  As a child, we always made visits on older relatives and spent time with my Grandma.  Our elders were respected, and they shared stories that I wish I had written down.  As I look backward, I may not remember the stories, but I remember the relationships and the love.  These older people became a part of my foundation of life, and because of my mom’s respect for them, I have spent most of my adult life and ministry connected with the oldest generation.

I recently had a visit day with six of my ninety something and almost ninety something friends and those who I continue to watch over and connect with from previous ministry relationships.  When I visit, this is when I feel God’s presence and spirit with me.  I feel like I am living out my passion and calling in life.  I love to make visits with people in their home environment.  They are relaxed and welcoming and open to sharing their life and stories. 

The stories were filled with memories and as I looked into their eyes, I saw the distant view in their reflection.  They were with me, but their thoughts and eyes were looking backward to the memories of husbands now in heaven and the life they shared together.  Sue’s memories are not in the present, and her eyes were sad with emotion.  As we sang and prayed, her eyes were fixed on Jesus and Heaven.  With others, I heard memories of childhood, meeting their husbands, and remembering how her husband made her laugh.  Their eyes were filled with memories as they reflected backward.  Those relationships are what sustains them today.

Our elders tell stories from their past to teach us.  We need to listen and ask questions and learn about their lives and how God walked with them and helped them through the tragedies and trials of their lives.  Just because they are not as active and involved now, their eyes still sparkle with life and memories and words of wisdom if we listen.  Look into the eyes of those who are telling you stories of their past and you will see the deep love that lives within their hearts.

 When we look back, our eyes are filled with memories that bring tears of joy and sadness mingled together.  We live in the present with our hearts remembering and our feet firm on the foundation from those who have poured their love into our lives.

When we reach out and visit those who are in their twilight years, we bring joy to their moments.  It also helps us to get out of our own heads and moods and focus on someone else.  Ask them questions about their lives and allow them to share and remember.  After you leave, they will sit in those memories and give thanks for the relationships of their lives.  We receive from them a blessing, and they have an opportunity to share and relive those experiences.  It is a gift of connection and reminds them they still have value and worth.

 Allow your eyes to look backward and remember while firmly planted into today.  Make the visit.  Listen to the stories. Allow someone’s life to continue to produce fruit.  My mom’s life continues to have purpose and meaning as I live out what she taught me through her words and actions.

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Stumbling Through

“To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy.”  Jude 1:24

On my last morning at the beach, I got up before the sunrise to run on the beach.  Nobody was on the beach yet, and the sun was just beginning to bring color to the sky.  The wind was strong, and the waves were crashing on the shore.  I began to run, and my foot went down into a hole caused by the water and the soft sand.  I fell forward into the sand.  Got up and continued my run.  Then I took my phone out of my pocket while I was running to take a picture of the sunrise.  As I was putting my phone back and began to run again, my foot went into a sand rut, and I fell again dropping my phone which bounced off the sand and hit me above my left eye.  I was done running and decided to just walk.  My foot went into another hole and down I went.  I was thankful it was only sand and water. 

What started out as a beautiful way to end my beach trip by running on the beach at sunrise, turned into three falls, a bruise around my eye and a knot above my eye, and sore arms and wrists from catching my fall.  We all stumble and sometimes fall physically.  The falls can leave us bruised, with broken bones, crushed egos, and afraid to attempt it again.  We stumble and our bodies pay the price.  Sometimes we stumble because we should not be doing what we are doing.  I should not have run in the soft sand with crashing waves.

We stumble in many ways in life.  To stumble is to momentarily lose one’s balance.  We physically lose our balance and almost fall.  We stumble in making decisions, in relationships, in our words.  We attempt to do what is right and good, but we mess up.  We start the day being positive and grateful to God.  We are upbeat and then something goes wrong.  We may make a mess of something, get irritated, or lose our temper.  We stumble and lose focus.

We stumble in our faith, too.  We want to follow Jesus and be aware of His presence daily.  Our desire is to glorify God in all we say and do.  But words come out of our mouths or are in our thoughts that are not respectful or holy.  We get angry with others and the government, the news, the neighbors and even God.  We stumble.

To stumble is to fall into sin and allow obstacles to get in our way.  There are stumbling blocks that separate us from living the life God called us to live.  We get off balance.  Life does not turn out the way we had hoped or planned.  Bad things happen.  Disease and death make us lose our balance, and we stumble through the trials life gives us.

 We get up and try again after we stumble, but many times we keep doing the same thing repeatedly expecting life to be different.  When we repeat, we seem to keep stumbling.  Just like I did on the beach.  I did not learn the first time that the wind and waves were too strong to run that morning and it was causing the sand to be too soft to run.  I did not learn from my first stumble.

Sometimes, we keep stumbling and are off balance because we are attempting to make it on our own.  We tell ourselves that we should be strong enough and have enough willpower to keep going.  We attempt to prove to ourselves that we can do it.  We should have enough stamina and endurance to keep going and to pick ourselves up if we stumble.  There are times when life seems to be winning and when we stumble, we just want to stay down and cry and give up.  We have all been there even if we don’t want to admit it to anyone else or even to ourselves.  We have been there when a loved one dies, when disease takes over a loved one’s body, when tragedy strikes.

 It is surrendering to God and crying out, “Help.  I need you to come and pick me up.  I keep stumbling.”  God doesn’t tell us to pick ourselves up or that we should be stronger and to stop crying.  No, God reaches down in our stumbling and brushes off the sand and holds us up until we can get our balance.  God gives us His strength through the Holy Spirit.

Balance.  It is not just physical.  We lose our balance and fall.  We get off balance in our thoughts, our feelings, our emotions, and how we deal with life.  Sometimes what is small and insignificant becomes the focus.  We get lost in things that will not matter tomorrow or next week.  We stumble through life and lose focus on what is important.  It is not what we achieve or the busyness of tasks that gives life meaning.  It is Jesus – His love and relationship.  We are loved because of whose we are – God’s children.  When we stumble and mess up, God’s love and grace forgives us and restores us. 

Stumble into the arms of Jesus.  Spend time with Jesus.  Allow Jesus to hold you up until you get your balance. Jesus won’t leave us, but Jesus will continue to beside us to catch us when we stumble.

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Check out my weekly newspaper column on my website and my books which are available on Amazon.  If you or someone you know has experienced loss – please share my book with yourself or someone going through grief – Living In The Different.

A Place to Pause

“At that time Jesus went off to a mountain to pray, and he spent the night praying to God.” 

Luke 6:12

Pause means you stop doing what you are currently doing.  You take a break.  For example – you pause a song to take a phone call and then return to the song by pushing the play button.  I took a pause this past week.  I just stopped my routine and went to the beach for a week.  Then I came back and hit “play” with my day-to-day life.  Pause does not mean we change anything; we just stop for a moment and do something else.

In the pause, I focused on just being present in God’s creation.  I ran on the beach.  Biked along the beach path.  Sat on the beach and walked in the water and waves.  Sat on the beach to watch the sunset and the moon rise and the stars which become brighter in the darkness.  I witnessed the beauty God created for our pleasure and heard the power of the water and the waves.  God is in the light, and God shines in the darkness.

Let me share with you some of my reflections during the pause at the beach –

God’s power is revealed in the power of the wind and the waves.  God’s power is intense, and it is stronger than anything we experience in life.  God is stronger than the burdens and problems we face.  Sometimes you just have to go into the wind and storms of life and face them.  When you turn around, God’s wind pushes you forward.  You cannot see the wind of God’s Spirit just like you cannot see the wind at the beach, but you see the results of the wind.  Allow the power of God to blow through you and be your guide and strength.

The waves always come.  Sometimes they are stronger and pound the shore, and other times the waves wash slowly onto the beach.  Sometimes the waves are gentle and sometimes they are intense.  God always comes into every situation.  Sometimes God comes very gently and quietly, and we need to look for Him, and other times we are more aware of God’s presence.  God is always with us.

 The sand is not solid, and it is easy to sink into the sand.  We feel at times that we sink in life, too.  We need God’s firm foundation to pull us out of the things of this world that cause us to sink.

The beach is beautiful with the water, the sand, the shells, but what completes the beauty is the clouds in the sky and the blueness of the sky.  You need to look up and sigh and breathe in the Holy Presence of God.  The clouds form all types of designs but what I enjoy the most are the angel wing clouds – light, wispy clouds that look like angel wings.  It reminds me that angels are all around us, but we do not always see them.  Angels are messengers and protectors of God.

Even in the pause, I kept moving.  I walked on the beach and in the water slowly.  I biked through the neighborhoods.  Movement reminds us we are alive and have purpose in the day.  Movement is also interaction.  Even in the pause, smile and be kind and receive the greeting in return.  It refreshes your view of the world.

Dark clouds come even at the beach.  We have cloudy and sad days in our spirit too.  It is giving yourself permission to have these sad moments.  Life will always have them.  Recognize your spirit can be sad.  I realized in my pause my spirit was sad because of those in my life experiencing sickness, cancer, aging issues, unexpected deaths.  The situations life brings are different than we had hoped and expected.  We may function well on the outside, but inside our spirits are sad.  Pause in the sadness.

In my pause, God refreshed me in His creation and warmed my spirit in His sunshine.  I found a place to pause.  I stopped for a moment.  I breathed in God’s Spirit.  My spirit began to heal as I stepped even closer to Jesus.

Jesus had a place to pause.  Jesus went into the mountains to be alone with His Father.  We need to learn from Jesus and follow His example.  You may not be able to physically go somewhere because of your circumstances, but you can pause in your day and find a space to be alone with your Heavenly Father.  Pause within your spirit and breathe in the power and healing presence of your Heavenly Father who loves you.

The pause helps to focus on what is important.  It gives an acceptance of your purpose.  It helps to recognize God’s power and that God is with you.  God has you.  Sometimes you need to pause from the routine and the things that overwhelm and get your attention and focus on what is most important – Jesus.  It is just me and Jesus.

 “Me and Jesus” – sung by Brad Paisley

 Me and Jesus got our own thing going.  Me and Jesus got it all worked out.  Me and Jesus got our own thing going. And we don’t need anybody to tell us what it’s all about.”

Take a pause with Jesus.

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Please check out my books on Amazon and share one with someone going through grief and changes in life – Living In The Different, Live Different Moments, Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Taking A Pause

“After Jesus had sent them away, he went by himself up into the hills to pray.  It was late, and Jesus was there alone.”  Matthew 14:23

A friend posted on Facebook that she took a “Pause Day.”  She had been so caught up in the busyness of life that she forgot to just be present.  She paused and slowed herself down and refreshed herself in the beauty around her.  She gave herself a gift and a reminder that being busy is not always the purpose in life.

We live in a society that celebrates being busy.  If you tell someone you’ve been busy, they think that’s great.  Is it really?  What are you busy doing and is it what you enjoy and want to live your life doing? Yes, we need to make a living and work and take care of our responsibilities, but do we ever pause and enjoy the life that is around us?

 Do you pause when you are overwhelmed and feel the heavy burdens of the day and go outside and just look up?  Yes, there is such healing and calmness that comes over us when we look up.  We only see the sky, the clouds, the sun, the trees, and at night the moon and stars.  We see nothing made by human hands.  The pause and looking up usually includes a sigh.  Wow!  This beauty was made for this moment just for me.

 If you have a “To Do List” either written down or in your head, you continue to mark off what you accomplished, but you also add more to the list.  Our “to do list” is never complete.  There is always something to do, so when you say, “I’ll take a break when everything is done.”  There is never a time everything is done.  There are times when tasks are completed, and you feel good about taking a break.  But for some of you, your thoughts are racing toward what needs to be done and anxiety builds when you are not busy.

 Our thoughts and mind need a pause along with our physical bodies.  We can get so caught up in what society says is important that we lose sight of our priorities and what gives life purpose and meaning.  The “crowd” in our lives is social media, our own expectations and what we think others expect from us.  We get lost and need to take a pause.

 Jesus in Matthew 14:23, sends the crowd away.  Jesus has just feed the five thousand people with bread and fish by multiplying a little boy’s lunch.  Jesus has taught them, and he has a group of people who are filled with emotion and are ready to make Jesus King and follow Him.  Jesus could have stayed and baptized and converted the thousands – that’s what society would have wanted him to do.  Make a name for himself, become popular, get busy and set up a plan to overthrow the Roman Empire.  But instead, Jesus sends the crowd away and goes up into the hills to pray.

Jesus is teaching us something very important.  The world and other people can tell you what is important and what they think is good for you. What is vital to who you are and whose you are. There are a lot of good opportunities to keep you busy and places to volunteer and lots of stuff to do and buy and…..the list is endless which creates the busyness of life.  It is pausing in life and deciding what is vital and what is your priority.  Jesus teaches us that sometimes you need to pause and say “no” to the demands of life and yes to time with God.

 It is time to take some pause days or moments.  Reflect on what has you feeling overwhelmed, busy, weary, troubled, burdened, and anxious.  Are these your priorities in life or are you busy doing what everyone else expects?  Are you carrying the load that God did not mean for you to carry alone?  Are you depending on God even in the struggles and pains of life?  Pause and give God glory and trust Him even when you do not understand why you have to go through it.  Pause, and say, “I trust you, Jesus.”  Pause and look up.  Pause and step away into the hills and pray.  Pause and go on an adventure.

 We tend to let stuff that doesn’t really matter be in control.  Pause and step back.  If you do not find joy and Jesus in what you see in your life, maybe it’s time to pause and listen to God’s Spirit and voice within you.  Jesus did.  What was a good opportunity was not His purpose.  His purpose was to suffer and die for you and me.  His purpose was the cross.

 Pause in this season of your life.  Get a drink of water.  Sit on your porch.  Sit at the beach.  Sit in your favorite chair.  Take a boat ride.  Take a walk.  Go for a bike ride.  Read a book.  Pray.  Talk with God.  Have a conversation with Jesus.  Life is broken and fallen and tough, but God is still good and God is with you.  Pause and release and re-focus.  Listen to God.  Move closer to the people God puts in front of you.

Let’s pause.

Check out my Newspaper Articles in The Daily Chief Union and on my website along with my books – www.livinginthedifferent.com

I appreciate all of you who read my column, blog, and books!

Showers of Blessings

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.”   I Corinthians 13:7-8

We celebrated my great niece’s wedding this weekend.  She asked me to participate in the wedding service, and I was honored to do so since I had officiated in the wedding of her parents.  I shared Scriptures, prayed a blessing over their marriage, and then shared some words of wisdom about relationships -

Remember these important aspects of a relationship. Communication is central.  Share your day, your feelings, your frustrations, your dreams and your goals.  Share. Share. Share.  Have a foundation for your personal life and your marriage.  Keep yourselves grounded in your faith in God, your values, your family, and your belief in each other.  Don’t assume.  Share and talk through and don’t assume the other one understands it or will see it the same as you.  Compromise.  Share how you feel and listen to the other person.  Be each other’s encourager.  Be united and build up each other.  See the good in one another and share it.  Enjoy life and take adventures.  Live, don’t just exist.  Life is more than work.  Love.  Love.  Love.

 The ceremony was beautiful and now complete, and we were sharing the meal.  Then God showered the dry earth with a rain shower and then a rainbow right over the venue.  I told my niece that God was showering his love and blessing upon her marriage.

 As I sat in the reception hall with my brothers and extended family, I was reflective.  I was sitting in the little town where my mom went to High School.  I drove by the school on my way to the wedding.  Just a few miles down the road was where my mom grew up and went to Church.  God had showered his blessings on me by giving me such a special mom who loved me and loved Jesus and shared that love with others.  At the reception was a picture of my mom and dad.  They are the foundation for my siblings and their families.

I remember the love my mom and dad had for one another.  They were married almost 52 years when my dad died.  They worked together on the farm, provided for their children, raised their family in the church, and were grounded in their love for Jesus.  I remember hearing them read devotions together and pray together.  They laughed, they cried, they disagreed, they enjoyed adventures, and they lived together in love.  No relationship is perfect, but my parents allowed God to shower blessings upon their lives and marriage.

I give thanks to God for allowing me to experience the blessings of marriage and love.  The love God gives to us to share with others remains in our hearts forever.  Love never dies.  Love just takes a different form.

Sometimes the showers do not feel like blessings.  My niece did not see the showers at her reception as a blessing at first because people were to be outside for the dancing and fun.  It was just delayed for a while.  It is the same for all of us, when something happens unexpectedly or not as we had hoped or planned, we do not see God’s hand or blessing immediately.  It takes time to heal and ponder and reflect.  It is remembering that God brings good – His blessings – out of the heartache and bad.  It takes time to see it because we only see and feel the hurt and pain.  This is grief.  As we give ourselves time to heal from the loss, the gentle shower of God’s love helps us see the good coming out of what we just went through.  It does not mean that what happened was good, it just means that good came out of what happened.

 God blesses us each day with the gift of life and breath.  God blesses us with His love that is always in our hearts.  God blesses us with grace and forgiveness through His Son, Jesus.  God blesses us with His presence through the Holy Spirit.  God blesses us with relationships – people who walk with us in love and encourage us when we struggle and just love us for who we are.

God has showered blessings upon our dry earth and dry lives.  We all go through dry times and hard times in life where our focus is on the pain and suffering and brokenness of life.  God is still present.  God is still God.  We just need to trust when we do not understand.  God will always love you.  Love never dies, and love never ends.

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 Check out my weekly newspaper column in the Daily Chief Union Newspaper which is downloaded to the website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Reflecting Forward

“I command you to be strong and brave.  Don’t be afraid, because the Lord your God will be with you everywhere you go.”  Joshua 1:9

A friend is experiencing the first Anniversary of her husband’s death.  She was numb and in shock a year ago, and now she is feeling the intensity of reality.  She survived all the firsts and now she is trying to live forward in this different life.  You think when you make it through the first year that it should be easier now.  Sorry, but not always true.

You survived the first year, which is a huge accomplishment, and then you begin to experience the feelings of reality.  You ask, “Now, who am I?” and “What do I do?”  You have more questions than answers.  Life is so different than you had hoped or expected.  Relationships have changed.  You have changed.  How you view life and what is really important begins to take on a unique perspective.  You just see things through a different lens than you did before loss.  You are more reflective and attempt to make decisions based on what you want or need.  It just feels strange.

This week is the tenth Anniversary of the death of my husband, Dave.  Time is measured by love not years in grief.  It has become a reflective time in my thoughts.  To be reflective is to ponder and think deeply about what has transpired and my decisions, where I have been, and what is now important to me forward.

When life changes, we tend to first reflect on how to just survive and get through the changes, chaos, and hopefully find a sense of peace.  In the beginning, I was just making it through each day and trying to create a new routine.  I was still numb and went through the motions of life.  Some of you may be in this time of reflection.  Give yourself permission to just be.  Your body and mind need time to heal, and I believe God created the feelings of being numb as a time of rest from the chaos and allow your thoughts and body to catch up with each other.  Take the time.

 We are also reflective of the past and focus on regret and guilt.  We beat ourselves up thinking we should have done it differently, we could have been more aware of, and if we had only known, we would have….  We have all lived in this reflective stage and sometimes stay in the “why” questions of what happened.  It is good to reflect and admit to ourselves these feelings.  You cannot change anything by asking the questions or change in your minds what you should have or could have done.  You did not do it, and it is in the past.  Learn from it.  Forgive yourself and others and move forward.  Release the questions.

When our reflections focus on the reality of life and what happened, we begin to feel the intensity of the pain and loss.  It is real.  We cannot escape or deny it.  It is allowing ourselves to feel the pain, the hurt, the heartache, and all the other emotions that come with loss and change.  Feel these feelings and recognize that others around you may not understand, but there are those who have walked the journey who provide the needed support or affirmation that what you are going through is OK.  It is just where you are right now.  It is slowly releasing these emotions and allowing God to walk with you through them.

As I have journeyed through grief, one of the healing times has been my realization that Dave is living in Heaven with Jesus.  He has a new life in the presence of God and is peaceful and content.  When I accepted that he was living in Heaven and I was living on earth, it gave me hope and comfort that life continues in a different form for both of us.  Heaven is real.  Dave saw a glimpse of it before he died and was ready to go home to be with Jesus and those who were in Heaven before him.  It gave me permission to live on earth knowing he was living in heaven.

 As I reflect over the past ten years, I have made decisions that now I wish I had not done, but I give myself grace that my grieving brain made decisions based on thoughts and feelings at the time.  Reflecting backward is clearer than when the decisions were made.  I have learned from them and forgiven myself and asked for forgiveness.  God has redeemed them for good to help others on the journey.

 Reflecting has also brought an acceptance.  It was not what I wanted, but it is what I got.  God has brought good out of the grief.  God has given me a new purpose and direction by helping and counseling others on the grief journey.  God gave me the concept – “living in the different” and the words to write the book on loss and grief – Living In The Different.  My prayer has been that my journey will help another person walk through the grief and live forward into the different life.  Grief goes with us all our lives, but we learn to live with it and incorporate it into our lives.

There will always be sad moments and triggers that makes us more reflective and quiet.  They happen because of love.  Love never dies.  Dave will always be a part of my heart and foundation of my life.  God reminds me every day that his love is with me especially when I read Joshua 1:9 – his favorite scripture, see a hawk, or see 733 on the clock (his unit number). 

I am reflecting forward in life.  I accept that life is what it is.  I cannot change the past.  I can release the past, redeem the past, rejoice in the past, and be grateful for the past.  It is a part of who I am.  I can only live forward with God walking with me.  God is with me and with you everywhere we go.  Live forward into the life you now have.

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Check out my books on Amazon or through my website.

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper (Stories and memories of Dave)

Living In The Different (Grief and Loss)

Live Different Moments (Living Forward into life)

Helping Broken

“Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor ruling spirits, nothing above us, nothing below us, not anything else in the whole world will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:38-39

I officiated at a funeral this weekend that broke my heart.  His life reflected the love of Jesus, and his serving made a difference in the lives of many people.  His own struggle and pain became overwhelming to him.  His life had meaning and purpose and will continue to make a difference in this world.  I share some of my thoughts and words from his service………

We each have some type of inner turmoil.  We want to make a difference and put the pieces of life together.  We strive to be enough, serve enough, and give enough.  We think we fall short so many times and feel less than we expect we should be.  We think we should be able to handle situations on our own and be strong enough to withstand the storms of life.  We want to prove to God we are capable.  But fear takes over.  Sometimes we choose fear over faith which is part of depression.

We all have struggles in some way in life.  We believe in Jesus and know God is with us in life, but we fall short of totally surrendering every aspect of our lives to Jesus.  We don’t give him our struggles because we think we should not struggle as a believer, or we should be strong enough to fulfill our purpose in life on our own.

We live in a broken and fallen world.  The struggles, fears, hurts, and daily life can overwhelm us.  We know in our heads that Jesus is the answer to everything, and Jesus is with us.  But we are ashamed when we feel the struggles, and think we are not trusting Jesus enough.  We are not good enough and don’t have enough faith.  Depression, anxiety, and addictions are the diseases from this broken world.  They take over.  Depression is the fear of the past that we are not enough and not good enough and will never be.  Anxiety is the fear of the future causing us to worry about what will happen and will we find our purpose.  Addictions are the fear of living now so we escape through one of the many addictions.

God created us to live in community with one another.  When we cannot hear Jesus, someone else can and will come and walk beside us.  Listen to them speak the name of Jesus and his love and grace into your heart and life.  Asking for help is not a weakness, but it shows courage.  Do not be afraid and feel shame when you reach out for help.  Life is hard at times, and nobody is perfect nor required to be.  God’s grace is sufficient.  We need to give grace to ourselves. 

When someone offers to help you in the struggles of life, accept the offer.  Do not let pride stand in the way of getting help in your struggles.  God made us to need each other and to depend on each other to help us grow closer to God.

Nothing separates us from God’s love.  No matter what you do or do not do, God loves you.  God’s love and grace is not based on our performance.  It is not based on who we are but on whose we are – God’s child.

 If you are struggling with life today – with depression, fear, anxiety, addiction – whatever it is, reach out for help.  If you know someone who is struggling, reach out to them again and don’t give up.  Our purpose in life is to love Jesus and be in relationship with Jesus and one another.  Each day our purpose is to be in the presence of God and to experience God’s love for us.  It is out of this love that we serve and glorify God.

If you are struggling in your walk with Jesus and feeling that you are not good enough and not measuring up.  Your anxiety, depression and fear is consuming you.  God still loves you.  Nothing, not even depression, anxiety and fear separates you from God’s love for you.  Allow God to come to you through those around you.  Ask for help. You may not think you can help someone else when you feel broken, but sometimes that is what another person needs – someone who has struggles but is depending on Jesus in them.  Allow God to carry you through the struggles.  Surrender and receive God’s grace and forgiveness.

You are loved.  You are God’s child.  You are in relationship with others who will walk beside you and love you with the love of God.

Come Jesus Come

“Sometimes I fall to my knees and pray, Come Jesus come.  Let today be the day.  Sometimes I feel like I’m gonna break. But I’m holding on to a hope that won’t fade.  Come Jesus come.”

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Need some help?

·       Read my blogs and newspaper articles – www.livinginthedifferent.com

·       Reach out to a friend or pastor or counselor

·       Suicide and Crisis Hotline – 988 (Call or Text)

·       National Mental Health Hotline – 1-866-903-3787

·       National Alliance On Mental Illness Helpline – 1-800-950-6264

Reflectively Staring

“Now we see a dim reflection, as if we were looking into a mirror, but then we shall see clearly.  Now I know only a part, but then I will know fully, as God has known me.”  I Corinthians 13:12

We celebrated my brother’s milestone birthday with a family dinner.  My siblings and their families gathered at the park.  We talked, we prayed, we ate, we played, and we shared memories and stories.  The little ones ran and played, and they laughed and shared.  Generations were together, and we reflected about our past remembering our parents and grandparents who are the foundation of our family.  I looked back in my mind and felt the presence of my parents and grandparents and saw in my heart the joy on their faces that we were still gathering together.  They would be so pleased.

 “How did we get this old?”  My brother said.  He did not feel that old.  I look back and wonder where time has gone.  As a child, time seemed to go by so slowly, but as we mature, time seems to rush past.  Babies become teenagers and grandparents go to Heaven in a flash.  It cannot be possible that I am this old.  My mind thinks I am still young, but my body feels the changes.

As I enjoyed time with my siblings and their families, I became reflective.  I was nine years old when my first niece was born.  I remember growing up with all my nieces and nephews and enjoying adventures with them.  I was the fun aunt that was closer to their age.  Now they have children and even grandchildren of their own.  Photos remind me of events and the stages of life we went through together. 

I look through scrapbooks and sometimes I stop and just stare at a picture.  I can put myself back into the scene and into the life I was living at the time of the picture.  For moments, I can get lost in the memories and the people in that chapter of my life.  Sometimes I even wonder what life would be like if those in Heaven were still living on earth.  I reflect on who I am now because of their influence on my life.

 Sometimes we live life in the “stare” mode.  We freeze-frame our life.  It may happen because of the loss of a loved one.  You just stare into the past and wish for that life again.  You may just want to hold life where it is and not want your children to grow up and leave home.  Your child may have gone to college, and you stare at what life used to be with them at home and everyone under one roof together.  You do not want life to move forward.

 But life does move forward no matter how hard we try to hold on to these times and treasure the moments.  The moments become part of our memories and foundation.  We reflect upon the joys and the struggles, and we attempt to let go of the hurt and pain and remember the good.  We reflect on the difference loved ones made in our life.  We do pause and stare into the past which gives us time to remember and feel.

 Sometimes we just have a blank stare in life.  No clue.  No thoughts.  No idea what to do or how to handle a situation or the emotions.  You may feel numb.  Give yourself permission to just pause and stare.  This is one of the ways God gives us to slow ourselves down and rest.  Our minds get cluttered in thoughts, regrets, grief, anxiety, fears and the list goes on and on.  So, the blank stare is good at times. But other times, we just stare into the past and think if we stare at it, the past will come back into the present.  Never going to happen.

The past is the past.  You cannot recreate it or live in it.  The past is filled with memories that sustain you in the present and have made you who you are.  Gathering with friends and family reminds us of our shared past and foundation.  It is a good time to be reflective and thankful.  It is good to stare together in the past and share the stories and wonder how did we get to be this old already.

It is remembering that God has been with us through it all.  God blessed us with memories and the ability to reflect.  Stare into your past for moments.  Stare to give yourself some rest.  But then, with God’s Spirit begin enjoying the present and look forward to what God will do in your next chapter of life.  God is good.  All the time.  God is faithful and will be with you today and tomorrow like He was in your past.  Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus.

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Read my weekly Newspaper Column in The Daily Chief Union Newspaper and on my website.  Check out my books too!

Struggling With the Whys of Life

“The Lord says, “My thoughts are not like your thoughts.  Your ways are not like my ways.  Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9

“Why didn’t God heal my son?”  She cried.  “I prayed and begged God, but my son died.”  She was angry but she was still talking with God.  We pray for healing, and some people are healed physically while others are healed in Heaven.  It does not make sense.  We cannot understand how God makes His decisions.  We want a reason.

The world is filled with things that happen that do not make sense – innocent children who are hurt and suffer, children with cancer and diseases, hunger, homelessness, grief, death, and the list goes on and on.  There are political, environmental, social and genetic explanations but I am not going to debate or go down that trail.  None of the explanations meet the emotional need of the struggle of why.

We want to understand why something happened. Our mind thinks if we figure it out and put all the pieces together, then we will not hurt or struggle anymore.  Once we comprehend how it happened, we are unable to change the end result.  Our loved one still died.  The situation still happened.  All the knowledge and figuring out does not change the reality.

I believe in prayer and the power of prayer.  God hears every prayer.  Sometimes God changes His mind.  For example, in the Bible in 2 Kings, Hezekiah is sick and is told he will die and to put his house in order.  He prays and Isaiah comes to him and tells him God has heard his prayer.  God will heal him and grant him fifteen more years of life.  God hears.  Sometimes God physically heals.  The Bible is filled with healings, and Jesus healed throughout his ministry. This gives us hope.

God answers every prayer but not always in the way we want God to nor in the time we desire.  Isaiah tells us God’s ways and thoughts are higher than ours – God sees the big picture.  We only see a glimpse from our perspective.  Our focus is our little world around us.  We have a plan of how we want it to be and look.  We desire to control and then have God bless our plan.

Even when we know God is in control, we get upset when life seems to be a struggle or our attitude turns sour for no particular reason.  Ever have one of those days when you just have a negative attitude and you struggle just to be a nice person?  You are smiling right now, right?  You have had one of those days.  You love Jesus, and Jesus lives in your heart, but you just don’t care today.  You ask yourself, “Why am I acting and feeling this way?”  You try harder, and it doesn’t make a difference.  You don’t understand. 

First of all, you are human and not every day do you feel at the top of your game.  It is allowing yourself to have “blah” moments or days, but they do not define who you really are or want to be.  It is surrendering the ugly and the struggle to God.  Allow God to heal and redeem it.  Do not beat yourself up but forgive yourself and let it go.  You may not figure out the reason you feel the way you do, but you can still let it go and not live in it forever.

There are so many “whys” in life.  If we live in the whys, we will never really live.  I am learning to pray, “God, I don’t understand why this happened, but I still trust you.”  This is not burying my head in the sand or trying to escape facing life.  To me, it is admitting I am not God, and I am not in charge.  The weight of the world is not on my shoulders.  I do not need to wallow in the struggles of life and stay in the victim mode.  I need to grieve my losses, hurts, and pains but not stay there and let them define me.  It is changing my focus. 

It is not focusing on the why question but on the answer – Jesus.  Jesus loves me, knows me, and Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.  He understands.  In childlike faith, I trust Him.  And that is enough for me.  If I spend my days focusing on trying to answer the “why”, I will never enjoy the moments God gives me.  I need to look up and see God’s presence in the beauty around me and not miss the blessings found outside the struggles of life.

God, I don’t understand but I trust You.

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Need some help living in the present and trusting when you do not understand?  My book – Live Different Moments – is for you.  You will find it on Amazon or at Tea Story in Upper Sandusky.

Memories at the Momuments

“Jacob rose early in the morning and took the stone he had slept on and set it up on its end.  Then he poured olive oil on the top of it.”                                Genesis 28:18

I visited the Warren G. Harding Memorial in Marion, Ohio.  It is where the 29th President of the United States and his wife are buried.  It is a beautiful 10-acre tree lined area surrounded by the Marion Cemetery.  It sits back from the busy highway and is a sacred place honoring one of our Presidents.  I also visited the Marion County Museum to learn more about President Harding and his dedication to the city of Marion.  He made a difference in this community and also in the short time he was President.  I was humbled to stand at his Memorial and give thanks for his life and service to the community and our country.

I pulled into our family cemetery – Chandler Cemetery - near the little town of Marseilles where my grandmother was raised.  Memories flooded my mind, and my heart felt the love that has surrounded me and been my foundation all my life.  The sun was shining, and the wind was blowing, and I felt the presence of the Lord.  This cemetery brings me comfort and peace.  As I read the tombstone of my parents, the names of their children are listed.  My name is on the stone.  Someday, my body will be laid to rest next to my parents.  There is sadness in the memories because those I love are not physically with me, but there is joy that they have lived, made a difference in my life, and are now in Heaven. 

As I walked through the cemetery, I felt like I was in the presence of my childhood.  I was walking through memories of my childhood as I passed each stone.  The tombstones were a tribute – a monument of remembrance for lives well lived.  I thanked God for the privilege of knowing so many of His saints.  Like Mary who was my “annual conference mom” and her husband, Lewis, who loved to tease me and supported me in my ministry. There are monuments to relatives I never met, but who are part of who I am and the foundation of our family.  Names I heard of but never met, but who are part of me. 

I stood at the grave of a former youth whose life was shortened.  I stood with his family and friends as he was laid to rest.  It was in the same cemetery where my husband, Dave, is buried and my dear friend, Ruth.  As I left a stone at their grave markers, I felt their presence and thanked God for their love and influence.  I remembered so many people I have laid to rest in this cemetery.  It was like visiting friends and church family.  I recognized some lives I could celebrate their long life and influence, but other lives were cut short from living days on this earth.  Their lives still influenced me, but I long to know what the full potential could have been.

I enjoy walking through cemeteries and looking at the monuments and grave markers.  Some are so unique with beautiful carvings and designs and even pictures.  Others just state a name.  Cemeteries are usually filled with trees and bushes and winding roads.  It is peaceful and a place to be reflective.  Each stone represents a life lived.  Each person was loved by someone.  Each person was part of a family.  Each person contributed to society.  We can learn from both positive and negative influences.  In our memories though, the bad fades and the good remains.

Jacob set the stone he laid on up on its end and worshiped God.  The stone was a monument to a memory of God’s presence.  The cemetery is a place of death.  It is the last place our earthly body is laid to rest.  But it is also a monument to God’s presence.  God created our loved one.  God loved them.  We love them.  We go to the cemetery seeking quiet and peace.  Seeking to remember those we love.  Thanking God for their life, their love and their influence upon our lives.  We go to thank God for the gift of their lives but also to thank God that death is not the end.  It is only the end to this earthly life.  We go to remind ourselves that the grave is not the end.  The love remains in our hearts.  The memories and love in our hearts is a gift from God.

As we remember, we praise God for the life, the love and all the memories.  We worship.  The cemetery has become a place of worship and prayer for me.  I have had the long nights of sorry and grief, and now I go to the cemetery in thanksgiving for the lives that have been on my journey and who I will one day see again.  Sadness is still present, and the tears still flow, but the sadness is mingled with hope.  Sadness and hope pour over the monument of memories.

Remember with love and thanksgiving!

Walking through grief?  Check out my book – Living In The Different.   Available on Amazon and at Tea Story in Upper Sandusky.

Blessed Be The Name

“The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”  Job 1:21

“God is good all the time.  All the time God is good.”  He spoke these words at the funeral of his son.  He thanked everyone for coming and then spoke his faith – what he believed and lived.  God was still good, and God was still faithful.  God healed his son perfectly in Heaven.

I do not understand why God allowed his son to lay in bed for two and a half years after his stroke.  I know many people, along with myself, prayed for him to wake up and be physically healed.  When I visited Will and spoke his name, I believe he heard me.  His dad’s voice was the most familiar because he heard it every day.  He also heard His Heavenly Father’s voice.  God never left him.  God was still there.  God was still good.

She was full of life and joy and gave everything she had to those she loved and served.  She loved Jesus, her family, flowers, the church, her friends, and she made life special for everyone she touched with her spirit.  She was in charge of her family.  Her smile brightened every place she entered.  She made you feel special when she said, “You’re who I wanted to see.”  Heaven is brighter now.  Jesus is who she wanted to see.

Two funerals in two days.  Both families have been friends for years and connected to the same church and many of the same people.  That was where my relationship with both began in the church.  Our foundation was Jesus.  We were blessed by God for our paths to cross and walk together in faith.  I was blessed at the funerals to not only give thanks for two special people, but to reconnect to my past and to so many people with whom I have shared life.  While loss is difficult and filled with sadness and hurt and funerals are not where you want to be, it brings together people who have shared in relationship with one another.  We had not been together because of changes in locations, churches, jobs, and just drifting away from one another because of life circumstances.

Funerals bring us together.  We hurt for the family that has lost their loved one, and we come to provide comfort, support, and grieve our own loss.  We want the family to know we care and love them and that their loved ones made a difference in our life and had purpose.  Their name, when spoken, brings a flood of memories and gratefulness.  Funerals are sad, but we make the effort to show respect for a life that has been present in our own lives.  We recognize the hole a person leaves in this world.  Funerals represent respect for a life lived.

I give thanks for the gift of life.  Even in grief and sadness when death makes no sense and I cannot understand the why, I trust God.  Death never makes sense.  Death is the result of the brokenness and sin of this world.  Death brings fear, anger, loneliness, pain and a myriad of emotions and feelings.  Death is a part of life we do not talk about or want to deal with.  We cannot avoid it, but we try.  Funerals force us to the face the reality of death and that everyone will die.

We will always grieve and miss our loved ones.  They leave a hole in our hearts that nobody else can fill.  Love never dies.  You just learn to live forward with grief and the hope of being reunited in Heaven.  Even in grief, we can praise God and know God has blessed our lives with their presence for as many days God granted to them.

One of the blessings Linda and Will gave at their funerals was bringing together friendships.  “You’re who I wanted to see.”  The hugs, tears and laughter filled my heart with blessings.  It was touching to look around and see people reunited who had not been together in years.  We gathered in the name of Jesus.  Jesus connected our hearts.  Even in the heartache of loss, we were filled with joy to see one another.  We mingled our sorrow with joy and blessings.  The blessing was the gathering of friends and loved ones to celebrate God’s love in the life of his children.  We celebrated that they are now with Jesus – the One they wanted to see.

I always hear, “Why does it take a funeral to bring us together?”  It is when we slow down and remember and realize how short life is, and we reflect on a life that touched our own life.  Memories of interactions and the shared experiences fill our thoughts.  We give thanks to God for bringing good out of the bad and praise the name of the Lord for creating us to be in relationship.  We need to let go of the struggles and pain and remind ourselves that God is good.  We bless the name of the Lord and trust Him.  The grief does not go away, but we know who walks with us in the pain and sorrow.  Just trust Jesus.

But some people stay in the hurt and anger and even at funerals when they gather, hold grudges of bitterness and do not extend grace.  Family turmoil continues even in death. To me, funerals remind each of us, nobody bypasses death.  We will all die.  Life is short.  Let go of the resentment and grudge, give grace and forgive.  Blessed be the name of the Lord who dies for our sins and overcomes death.  Because of Jesus, death is not the end.  Jesus gives us forgiveness and eternal life with Him.

Because Will and Linda gave their hearts and lives to Jesus, they have eternal life.  While they served faithfully, they did not earn Heaven.  It was through the grace of Jesus they received their reward of Heaven. They are living in Heaven and healed and whole.  This gives us hope and comfort in our sorrow and grief.  Death is not the end, but it is the beginning of life in Heaven.  God is good.  All the time God is good.

Rescued To Release

“This is my command: Love each other as I have loved you.  The greatest love a person can show is to die for his friends.”  John 15:12-13

My dog, Annie was a gift from God, and she was my companion through grief and next steps.  I was never alone.  She was my emotional support.  Annie was a wonderful therapy dog who showed love and compassion to my clients.  After she died, I wrote my last book – Live Different Moments – sharing how to take steps into life and live in the moments based on stories in her life.  I wrote the following story about Annie and hope to have it published someday, but wanted to share it with you, my faithful blog readers.  Here’s my Annie story.  Enjoy.

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Annie lifted her head slightly and licked my face as if to say, “Good-bye,” and then wrapped in her favorite blanket she laid her head down on the table.  It was the prayer quilt my sister made for my husband, Dave a few months before he died.  Annie claimed the blanket days after her master died.  Annie now breathed her last breath and was released from this world.  She crossed over the rainbow bridge to run into Heaven and find her master.

Released is to be set free from the pain and suffering of this world.  Annie, my beloved companion and therapy dog, was released from her struggle with diabetes, aging and infections.  But her purpose was not yet complete.  She was needed to release the one who rescued her.

Annie was born in the dog shelter and rescued at six months old by Pati Bardon who volunteered with ASAP Rescue (All Species Adoption Program). Pati had a warm barn on her farm in which she housed many large dogs. Annie was a small tan and white beagle puppy.  Pati felt sorry for her and brought her into their home during the day.  Pati had a soft heart for dogs and began to love this little beagle.  She named her “Carmel Apple” because of her coloring.  Pati was happiest when covered in dog hair, and she was known in our hometown as “the dog lady.” She would pick up any stray dog and rescue those chained up or abused.  Pati carried bales of straw in her vehicle during the cold winter months.  If she saw a dog chained outside, she would jump out of her truck and throw some straw around the dog to keep it warm.

Pati wanted “Carmel Apple” to have a forever home, so she reached out on social media sharing a picture of this sweet beagle puppy.  My husband, Dave, and I had recently lost our dear beagle, Specs, who lived sixteen and a half years.

 My sister, Carolyn, saw Pati’s post and called me.  “I’m not sure you are ready for another dog, but there is this little beagle puppy that my friend Pati is trying to find a home.”

“I’m not sure either,” I replied. “But send me the picture and I will check with Dave.”  Now, who can resist the face of a cute beagle puppy.  Dave and I were smitten by this adorable puppy face.

We contacted Pati and set up a time to drive to my hometown to check out this puppy.  I told my husband Dave, “If we go, we are coming home with a puppy.”  It was our wedding anniversary, and we came home with the sweetest gift – a tan and white adorable puppy who licked my face the moment I sat in the chair in Pati’s home.  She jumped into my lap, licked me, and chose me immediately.  We named her “Annie” short for Anniversary.

Annie found her dream life.  She was queen and brought life and joy into our home.  She loved to run with me in the mornings and take naps in the chair with Dave.  Then life changed.  Dave was diagnosed with brain tumors.  Annie stayed by his side through it all laying under his hospital bed protecting him until he died.  After Dave’s death everything became different for Annie and me.  Annie grieved her master.  I grieved my husband.  All we had was each other.  Annie had never been left alone, and now what was I to do?  My counseling office was at the Church, and I had to work. There was nobody at home, so Annie went to work with me as my therapy dog.  She found her calling in life.  She excelled at greeting clients, showing compassion when someone cried, and sensing the hurt and pain of others because she had experienced so much in her short three years of life.  Annie thrived with all the attention and dog treats she received from my clients and church family.

Annie rescued me in my grief by giving me a purpose to get out of bed and to keep moving.  She was with me most days so when I came home, I did not come home alone.  I would say, “Annie, it’s just you and me and God.  We are going to do this together.” I now had companionship in a different form and a different purpose.

With Annie’s help, we began to live into a different life.  She was my physical connection to Dave.  A part of Dave was with me – his unconditional love which was expressed in my dog.  Annie was God’s love in dog form – spell dog backward and you get God.  Then Annie began to age.  Her health declined, and she was in pain and suffered from so many infections and advanced stage diabetes.  It was time to release her.  As I held her, I whispered into her ear, “Go run into the arms of your master.  He is waiting for you.  I love you.  Thank you.”  She licked my face and let go.  When I carried Annie’s body into the funeral home for her to be cremated, I prayed through tears, “God, I know you have Annie now.  I release her to you, Thank you for the gift of Annie.”  Annie had rescued me in my grief, and it seemed impossible to go on without her.  “How am I going to walk through the feelings of loss and grief without her?”  I cried.

Then one morning on my run, God spoke to my heart, “It’s time to write again.”  I had written of my grief after the death of my husband in the book, Living In The Different.  Now I felt led to write about Annie and give purpose and meaning to her life and release my grief.  Annie taught me to live in the present and focus on what is in front of me.  Her life was a surrender and a dependency on me, and she taught me to follow her legacy and surrender and be dependent on God.  Live Different Moments was created.  I released my grief, but little did I know that the one who rescued Annie would be released by Annie through my book.

Pati had been diagnosed with metastatic melanoma and lived her last months at Wyandot Skilled Nursing Center.  As she declined, her ex-husband but still dear friend, Bob came to visit almost daily and read to her.  He read Scriptures and my book, Live Different Moments that my cousin, Sheryl had given to Pati. Bob told me, “I read the whole book to Pati. We laughed and we cried together.  I had to stop to wipe my eyes.”  Bob said he read several chapters to her at a time.  The words God gave me, and the stories of Annie helped to release Pati from the pain of this world.  Because Patti rescued Annie and God released Annie from the suffering of this world, Annie fulfilled her final purpose to release Pati to Heaven.  I am sure Pati was greeted by Annie and all the dogs she saved, loved, and lost throughout her time on earth.

Reflected Glory

“The glory which you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one.”    John 17:22

I enjoy watching the sunset whether from my porch, a chair in the yard or at the beach.  Some nights the sunset is filled with brilliant colors that take your breath away, and other nights the colors are subtle with a quiet rest to the day.  One night as the sun began to set a dark cloud was around the sunset and I thought no colors would shine this evening.  But I turned around and looked in the east and the sky was a brilliant deep pink.  The sun had reflected above the darkness to bring intense colors across the sky.  This experience has happened several times.  I began to ponder what God was telling me each evening in the closing of the day.  The Holy Spirit has revealed within me meaning to these sunsets.

When we look at the sky and only see the darkness, it is the same with our lives.  Sometimes we only see the darkness, the loneliness, the sadness, the grief, the fear, the anger, the hurt.  We see no hope and no possible way to live and find joy in life.  When we only focus on the loss of our loved ones or the problems and negatives of life, all we feel and experience is darkness and despair.  The darkness and longing for our loved one will always be in our hearts.  Nothing takes that away.  We learn to live with it.  But when we change our focus and turn around, the darkness reflects the glory and presence of God and our loved one in our lives.  The darkness brings something different into our lives.  We did not choose the darkness, but it is present.  It is allowing the darkness of grief to change us and find meaning in the different. 

The word “glory” has been my word these past weeks.   I have been pondering the meaning of glory.  Throughout Scripture, God’s glory is revealed through the face of Moses, in the temple, the angels sang “Glory to God” at the birth of Jesus, and Jesus prays before his arrest that He gives to His disciples His glory.  In the past as I have watched the sun begin to set, in the sky was a “hole” between the clouds that seems to be a window into Heaven.  It was God’s glory – the splendor of God’s presence.  Glory is God’s physical presence revealed to us in so many ways. 

I believe Jesus gives to us His glory which is the physical reminder of His presence with us.  Jesus’ spirit – the Holy Spirit – lives within us and the glory is the outward expression and visual reminder that Jesus is with us. Because our loved ones had this spirit and glory in them, I believe that glory stays here with us.  Why else would we experience such powerful physical reminders of their love and life?  For example, my husband Dave loved hawks and had the nickname “Hawk” in high school because he always kept his eye on the ball in whatever sport he played.  Whenever we traveled by car, he would spot a hawk sitting on a fence post or wire every time.  After his death, every trip I took, a hawk would be sitting on a fence post or wire like it was waiting for me. It reflected Dave’s continued presence.  I still see hawks in my travels.  I saw two hawks this past week on my trip to Marysville.

Even more, God wants us to see His glory – His presence in our lives – every day.  It is these reflections that help us in our grief and give us moments.  These precious moments remind us that we are not alone, and God wants us to know He is beside us.  God gives us beauty though in our different life, it takes a while to again see it.  As we journey forward in life, we begin to reflect God’s glory to others who are beginning the journey.  The darkness and sadness of grief leaves a hole in our hearts and lives.  On the journey, we begin to see God’s glory and presence even in the hole.  God is with us no matter how we feel.  God shines around and through our darkness.  Someday in some way God will bring beauty out of our darkness.  Sometimes we need to turn around and focus on a new path and direction.

God’s glory in us helps us to look and live more like Jesus.  We begin to focus on how our life reflects God’s love and presence to others.  We take the focus off our sadness and problems, and we focus on God with us.  We look for God’s presence in nature, in relationships, in the quiet moments, in our thoughts, and in His Word.

Allow others to reflect God’s love and glory to you, too. 

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Check out my books on Amazon - Living In The Different, Living Different Moments, Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper.

Birthday Reflections

“All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old.”  Psalm 139:16

Last week was my birthday.  I received numerous Facebook birthday wishes, text messages, phone calls, and cards.  I was touched by all the people who reached out and thought of me on my special day.  As I thanked people on Facebook, I thought of how our paths connected in life – family, high school, hometown, churches, work, weddings, and so many other ways.  It made me ponder how important relationships are and how they give meaning and purpose to our lives.

Birthdays are full of memories.  We remember our childhood and how we celebrated our birthday with family or friends.  For some of us, our childhood was good, and birthdays were observed with cake and presents.  For some of you, this did not happen, and I am sorry you did not receive this gift of commemorating the day God gave life to you.  I remember baking and decorating my own cake from about the age of nine.  My dad always took a picture of the family around the cake that had candles.  I got to choose the flavor of the cake and the color of icing.  My brother, David, always chose chocolate cake with blue icing.  The presents were small and are long gone, but the memories of being together as a family remain.

As we age, we may not celebrate birthdays like we did in childhood except for some milestone years when one lives into those extra decades of life.  My mind does not feel the number that I just turned nor does my body most days.  I think I am half my age and probably act it sometimes too, which I am proud of.  I was in line at a restaurant on my birthday waiting to give my order (we were traveling). A bus load of youth were in front of us.  Three boys were talking and one of them about twelve years old said to his youth pastor that there were three old people behind him and he should let them go first.  I looked behind me and realized he was referring to me as one of those “old” people.  Wow, I am old to those who are teenagers.

Yes, on each birthday, we add another number to our age.  God has planned each day that we will live on this earth.  Are we focused on the number or on the experiences and adventures of each year?  I am trying to reflect more on how God has used me this year, and on how I have glorified God in what I did this year.  It is also a time to be grateful for how God has brought me through trials and situations.  I recognize that God has showered me with His grace and forgiveness – my past has been redeemed.  Yours has too, and God has forgiven you and blessed each of us with His grace and mercy.  Birthdays are a time to be grateful for the blessings of the year.  It is also a time to recognize God’s comforting presence through the difficult and sad times of the past year.

I am grateful for the people I have encountered on my path of life.  I am thankful for each of you who are reading this blog. I am thankful to have celebrated and officiated at your weddings, baptisms, confirmations, and funerals of your loved ones.  Relationships add joy and love to our lives.  They can also be the cause of pain, trauma, and heartache.  They are a mixture.  I do not want to diminish anyone’s pain and hurt, but God will redeem it.  We cannot change the past and what happened, but we can change our focus to what is good now in our lives and allow the days God has for us to be filled with His love and grace.

I am grateful for each one of you.  Some of you I have walked with through the hurts and pains of your life.  God has used me as His vessel and filled me with His Spirit to bring comfort to you and redeem the past.  Some of you have found hope and comfort through the words I have written in these blogs and in my books.  My friend, Pat, found comfort in my book, Living In The Different, after her husband, Bill died.  Pat now is my number one salesperson for my books.  God places people on her path who have lost a loved one and she shares with them and gives them a book.  I am so humbled that the words God gave me are helping other people on the grief journey.  I am thankful for my friend, Pat.  God redeemed my grief and used it to provide comfort to others.

God has blessed me in my life and ministry, and God has brought good out of the hurt and grief.  I am thankful.  God gives each of us so many days on earth to live and share His love and grace with others.  None of us are perfect.  We all mess up and are not always a great witness for Jesus.  But we keep trying.  We keep receiving God’s grace, and God continues to use our imperfectness to humble us and focus on God through us not on ourselves.

It is in this humbleness and imperfectness that I ask each of you to share one of my books with someone in your life or give a gift to yourself.  Maybe someone who is grieving – give them my book, Living In The Different.  For someone who wants to take steps into life and truly live in the moments, give them Live Different Moments.  For those who want to leave a legacy and find purpose in life, give them Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper.  (All 3 are available on Amazon or directly from me.)

 Thank you for reading these words and allowing God’s Spirit to touch your life just like His Spirit has touched mine to write these words.

Birthdays are a time of reflection.  Has my life made any difference?  My focus now is not about me but glorifying God in all that I do and say and write.  God is with you.  Focus on the moments in front of you and how you can glorify God daily.  Reflect.  Release.  Redeem.

God bless you!

Be Still And .....

“God says, “Be still and know that I am God. I will be supreme over all the nations; I will be supreme in the earth.”  Psalm 46:10

I listened to my ninety-one-year-old friend wonder if his life had any more purpose.  Why was he still here.  At different stages and seasons of life, we all wonder what our purpose is and do we still have value.  We are unable to accomplish what our normal routine was.  We have always been busy, productive, and active.  Disappointments come and dreams go unfulfilled.  We all have these thoughts.  It is a part of life.  Our worry and anxiety get the best of us even when we are trying to stay close to Jesus. 

I had a period of time like this and the song, “Be Still, My Soul” began to play in my heart - 

“Be still, my soul; the Lord is on your side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief and pain;

Leave to your God to order and provide;

In every change God faithful will remain.” 

It is difficult to slow ourselves down emotionally and mentally, but the turmoil inside of us may have become more intense and uncertain.  Our hopes and dreams are unrealized, and we wonder what the purpose of our life is now.  In these moments of turmoil, grief, loneliness or sadness we need to be still.  To be still and change our focus.  To be still and allow ourselves to feel the emotions and accept that it is OK to feel this way for a moment.  To be still and know God is beside us and is on our side.  To be still and give it all to God.

I found myself talking with God.  For me it was a time to look into my heart and face the feelings and reasons I got off track. In the stillness of my soul, I began to search for God’s will for my life.  I have always believed different is not bad, it is simply different.  In each change and decision in my life I have tried to listen and discern God’s direction.  I have found that reading God’s Word helps to quiet my soul and begin to listen to God speak directly through familiar words.  I study and go deeper into these familiar words and hear something different.  God’s Word is a living Word that speaks in different ways throughout our lives. 

It is in the quietness of a sunset or in the stillness of the morning that God speaks too.  When I am still long enough to listen, God speaks.  I run each morning not just for exercise but for quiet time with God.  A few days ago, God and I sorted out some hurt and disappointments.  God opened a new door in my thoughts and gave me a new freedom that I had not even considered.  It was only when I was quiet and began to listen that God revealed what was really going on inside of me.

When I am still before God, I am honest with myself because God already knows my heart.  It is in this time I admit my grief, my pain, my sadness, my joys, my blessings and everything in between.  In our grief, we need this honest time to allow ourselves to feel all the emotions of the loss and begin to admit to ourselves the depth of love and loss.  It is also the time when we cling closely to God knowing it is only through God’s strength that we have made it this far. 

I have come to accept that the “cross of grief” was part of my journey.  It has been in my grief that my quiet moments with God have become moments of dependency and growth.  I have allowed myself to just “be” – to be still, to be present, to be in the moment, to be.  God wants us to be present more than He wants us to be doing tasks and being busy with the things of this world.  I am finding quiet moments with God each day bring healing to my heart and soul and refreshes me.  Just be still and know that God is with you.  You do not need to speak words, just sigh and speak God’s name then listen.  Be still and know.

Revised blog from 6/4/2020

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Are you going through a storm right now or know someone who is?  Through the month of July, my birthday month and as your gift to me, I am asking everyone who reads my blog, to purchase one of my books either for yourself or for a friend.  It may be the storm of grief, then purchase – Living In The Different.  It may be that you have gone through the intensity of loss and change and need guidance on the journey, then purchase – Live Different Moments.  It may be that you want to make a difference and leave a legacy, then purchase – Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – and read how my husband, Dave left a legacy.  You can laugh and cry with him.  All books are available on Amazon, through me, or at Tea Story in Upper Sandusky.  Thank you.  Give a gift to a friend or to yourself.

Leaning On Jesus

“So he (John) leaned back against Jesus and asked him, “Lord, who is it?”  John 13:25

One of the hymns I remember from childhood is “Leaning On the Everlasting Arms.”

What a fellowship, what a joy divine
Leaning on the everlasting arms
What a blessedness, what a peace is mine
Leaning on the everlasting arms

Leaning, leaning
Safe and secure from all alarms
Leaning, leaning
Leaning on the everlasting arms

What have I to dread, what have I to fear
Leaning on the everlasting arms
I have blessed peace with my Lord so near
Leaning on the everlasting arms

Leaning, leaning
Safe and secure from all alarms
Leaning, leaning
Leaning on the everlasting arms

 The backyard of our home is a wooded area.  When I look out my office window, I see several trees bent over with one tree in particular against another tree.  The tree is still growing but not straight and tall like the tree it is leaning against.  It is protected, but the winds have bent it.  It is a part of the woods, and it still has strong roots.  It will just be a tree that will be connected to another tree and grow at a different angle than the trees around it.

The winds of life bend us to the point of struggling to survive.  Who are we leaning upon?  The world gives us some options – money, material possessions, the media, and gives us ways to escape life.  We can get lost in alcohol, habits, shallow relationships, and acquiring more stuff.  None of these sustain us for long.  When we lean on them, they are not stable or have a foundation. 

Who or what is safe for you?  We long to feel safe and secure in this broken and fallen world.  We have people in our lives we depend on and count on to be with us, but they have their own struggles and troubles and are not always available when we are in need.

“Safe and secure from all alarms” – I’m in Jesus’ arms.  Oh, what comfort to know I can rest in Jesus’ arms.  When John leaned into Jesus, he knew he could ask anything of Jesus, and he would respond to his need.  John believed in Jesus and knew to stay close to Jesus when there was uncertainty in life.

In my journey of life, I have learned to lean into the presence of Jesus more and more through the difficult times of life.  Too many times, we think we can do it on our own and try to be independent on the journey.  This never works for long as we crumble under the load of emotions and turmoil of life.  Life can be intense at times.  We watch the news and our hearts ache when we see the loss of life, especially innocent children.  We do not understand.  There is no answer to the “why” we ask.

In my grief journey and now in my journey forward, I have tried to be more aware that Jesus is sitting right beside me just like Jesus was with John at the Last Supper.  Jesus doesn’t move.  He is right beside me in whatever I encounter in my life.  I am the one who needs to be intentional and lean closer to Jesus in my need, my sorrow, my grief and struggles and questions of life.  Jesus wants me to lean in and share my fears, my questions and know He has the answers and is the answer to my fears.

When we need to lean on someone in our grief and in daily life, we realize that many times those we thought would be with us do not understand the intensity and length of grief.  We may try to lean on others, and it feels like we are falling into an emptiness where nobody is holding us up.  It is in these moments, I have become even more aware of Jesus’ firm and steady presence.  Jesus is our foundation and holds us up.  It is connecting ourselves to the One who is rooted firmly and grow around him. Jesus has never moved, I just need to lean more into his holy presence. 

Lean closer each day to Jesus.  Feel His presence through His Spirit and find your safety and security in Jesus.  Trust Him.

(Revised from 1/30/2020 blog)

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Are you going through a storm right now or know someone who is?  Through the month of July, my birthday month and as your gift to me, I am asking everyone who reads my blog, to purchase one of my books either for yourself or for a friend.  It may be the storm of grief, then purchase – Living In The Different.  It may be that you have gone through the intensity of loss and change and need guidance on the journey, then purchase – Live Different Moments.  It may be that you want to make a difference and leave a legacy, then purchase – Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – and read how my husband, Dave left a legacy.  You can laugh and cry with him.  All books are available on Amazon, through me, or at Tea Story in Upper Sandusky.  Thank you.  Give a gift to a friend or to yourself.

Summer Breeze

Jesus said, “The wind blows where it wants to and you hear the sound of it, but you don’t know where the wind comes from or where it is going.  It is the same with every person who is born from the Spirit.”  John 3:8

While on vacation in Destin, there was a beach complex with a sign in front of it that read “Summer Breeze.”  Each time we biked passed it, the song by Seals and Crofts played in my head – “Summer breeze makes me feel fine.  Blowin’ through the jasmine in my mind.”  Some of you just sang those words, didn’t you?

There is such peace in my heart when I breathe in the feelings associated with a summer breeze.  It is now summer, and the breeze of summer is filled with memories and smells for me.  The smells include fresh cut hay, the early morning smell of the corn and beans in the humidity, the fresh air, and the smell of the summer flowers.  The summer breeze brings memories of Vacation Bible School and my mom sitting in her swing enjoying the sunshine and breeze. 

Summer brings a more relaxed view of life with vacations, longer daylight, evening walks, some porch sitting, swimming, cookouts, and even sometimes the feelings that one does not need to be as productive.  There are less expectations.  School is out for summer break and the routines have slackened.  More people are camping and boating.  For farmers, the crops are all planted and just relying on God to water them and provide the needed sunshine for growth.  The hay requires the summer breeze to dry it out, and those baling it need the breeze to cool them off in the hot summer sun.

The summer breeze is refreshing and peaceful on bike rides in the sunshine.  It is amazing to watch the white fluffy clouds gently move across the blue sky and create unique shapes in the summer breeze.  It is also listening to the breeze through the trees and watching the trees clap their leaves together like hands as they sway in the wind.

But along with these peaceful feelings in the summer breeze come the pop-up summer storms.  They can happen without much warning and come even when the prediction is for no rain.  Soon the gentle breeze becomes strong, and the swirling wind seems to come from all directions bringing a downpour.  The unexpected happens and disrupts the peacefulness.

Life is like the unexpected summer storms.  We feel that life is going good with a gentle summer breeze of peacefulness.  Life has a good routine, and you predict smooth sailing for a while.  The bills are paid, the family is getting along at the moment, and you have some hope that progress is happening in your life.  Then a storm pops up unexpectedly, out of nowhere.  The storm may be that something breaks down, a financial stress, an illness, conflict in the family, job loss, or the death of a loved one.  The gentle breeze turns into a raging hurricane with the strong winds that are pulling you under and destroying your sense of peace and hope in its pathway.  You do not know what will happen next, and your anxiety and fear take control.  The winds of change are coming from all directions.

 Can you relate?  We have all been there if we admit it.  So, what do you do when you thought you had control over your peaceful summer breeze, but now the unexpected winds of life overpower you?  Do you let worry and fear take control and allow the negativity of life to be your view?  You just feel like everything bad keeps happening to you just when you begin to relax and enjoy the summer breeze.  The summer breeze of life is just a false hope for you.  No matter how hard you try, life keeps blowing up and the raging winds toss you around.

Storms happen unexpectedly but summer breezes are also reality.  Storms are not forever.  Slow down your thoughts from going down the negative path.  Yes, we do not know where the winds come from or where they go.  You can only see their path after they have gone through.  Enjoy the moments of peace and the gentle breeze.  God is there in the summer breeze, when life feels good and peaceful.  Hold fast to the stronghold of your life – God’s presence – in the storm.  God is still with you.  Life is filled with all types of winds.  The Spirit of God is always in the wind.  Always present within us.

The summer breeze of peace is always within you because that peace is the Holy Spirt that dwells within you.  It is still there even in the storms, but it is not our focus at that moment.  The storm gets all our attention.  It is reminding ourselves that God is in the quiet and in the chaos.  God never changes.  The circumstances of life change along with our focus, and we forget that God is in control, and we just need to depend on Him to walk us through.  God gives us His peace in the summer breeze and in the storm.

Allow the peaceful summer breeze of the Holy Spirit to flow through you.

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Are you going through a storm right now or know someone who is?  Through the month of July, my birthday month and as your gift to me, I am asking everyone who reads my blog, to purchase one of my books either for yourself or for a friend.  It may be the storm of grief, then purchase – Living In The Different.  It may be that you have gone through the intensity of loss and change and need guidance on the journey, then purchase – Live Different Moments.  It may be that you want to make a difference and leave a legacy, then purchase – Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – and read how my husband, Dave left a legacy.  You can laugh and cry with him.  All books are available on Amazon, through me, or at Tea Story in Upper Sandusky.  Thank you.  Give a gift to a friend or to yourself.

Affirmative Life

“This is how God showed his love to us: He sent his one and only Son into the world so that we could have life through him.”  I John 4:9

I was blessed this past week to share a day with one of my nieces.  Raya is a nine-year-old with a great sense of humor and joy for life.  She is a ray of hope to her parents.  When I picked her up, I told her this was her “Yes Day.”  She looked at me a little puzzled, and I explained that I took the idea from my niece, Jodi.  It means it is her day and whatever she wanted to do or buy, I would say, “Yes.”  There were limits but basically, I would agree.  She jumped up and down with her arms in the air and yelled, “Yes.”

First, we mixed up chocolate chip cookies to bake but chill first.  Then it was off to her favorite store (the one I do not like, but I said, “yes”).  We skipped into the store together.  She picked out cake mixes to make into cookies, frosting and candied eyes to decorate them.  Then it was down the arts and crafts isle for a sketch pad and pens.  She loves to draw.  The toy isles called to her, and she carefully chose toys that added to what she already had and that she would play with more than once.  Next, she wanted to go to a local restaurant for lunch, The Village Restaurant, which is one of my favorites, too.  Then it was back to my house to bake and decorate cookies, draw, and open her small treasures.  Nothing elaborate but simply time together to create and laugh.  It was “Yes” to enjoying today.  Her fun was also hiding the candied eyes in my house, and I continued to find them days later.

As we sat together in the restaurant and at home baking, I learned from a nine-year-old.  She likes who she is and will not let anyone change how God created her.  She knows God loves her, and her sister is in Heaven with Jesus.  She loves her mom and dad.  She loves her friends and has future plans with them.  She loves her cousins.  Nature is beautiful to her.  The birds and animals in our backyard amazed her.  Laughter and having fun come naturally to a nine-year-old.

Society would say my niece does not have a stable life, and she has had some intense experiences in her short life.  But that is not her view of life.  She is positive and her joy and love is contagious and fills my heart.  She finds ways to make the most of each day in very simple ways.  As we walked out to my vehicle to take her home, we were singing, “Our God is an awesome God.”  She loves to sing and loves music and art and animals and life.

My niece loves her life and the people in her life.  No matter the hurt and sadness of life, she finds joy in the days.  She adjusts to her parents’ schedule and does not let other people define her or let circumstances of life bring her down.  It is about attitude.  There is always negativity in life, and we can focus there if we choose.  But there is a lot to be grateful for and to look for the positive in life.  A sense of humor is essential, too.

God affirms you and me daily and gives us “Yes Days.”  God loves us.  God calls us His children.  “Yes, I love you.”  “Yes, I am with you.”  “Yes, I forgive you.”  “Yes, I will walk with you through the storms of life.”  “Yes, you are mine.”  “Yes, I have given you abundant life.”

Can you affirm today?  I know that today is not perfect.  There is a ton of negativity all around you and me.  The world is broken and fallen and filled with evil.  I am not denying the bad and the hurt and pain this world brings into our lives.  It is there, and it can be our focus that pulls us down and fills us with worry, anxiety, fear, depression, and struggles.  But I believe God gives us “Yes Days.”  We may not get what we think we want, but we receive what we really need.  We need Jesus.  We need God’s presence and love.  We need to release control and surrender to Jesus.  We need to let go of worry and anxiety that is unproductive and leads us to fear and being afraid of everything.

Today is your “Yes Day” with God.  “Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  The Bible tells me so.”

Yes, you are loved.  Yes, you are forgiven.  Yes, God is with you.  Yes, God has given you today to live in the present and enjoy the moments of today.  Yes!

My Books are available through different venues

·       Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

·       Personally through me

·       Amazon

Living In The Different

          Live Different Moments

                     Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

The Strong Hold of Life

“The Lord is my light and salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”  Psalm 27:1

It is fascinating to watch the squirrels in the backyard jump from tree to tree and land on what seems to me a small branch for such big squirrels.  The squirrels seem to hold on tightly to the branch, and then they quickly jump to another one going up and down trees enough to make one tired just watching them.  The baby squirrels are learning to hold on as they chase one another around the trees.  I have seen a few mishaps, but those little ones just get up and keep trying.  Even in the wind they hold on as the branches sway in the breeze.  It is amazing how God created these squirrels.  They are definitely entertaining.

We went biking recently around Indian Lake.  The wind was stronger than we anticipated.  A few times the gust of wind caught my bike, and I had to hold on tighter.  We thought the wind would be at our backs when we turned around, but it was just as intense.  The wind was coming from all directions it seemed.  It was a beautiful sunny day, but the wind made the ride a challenge along with dodging all the goose droppings on the trail. The wind had a strong hold on how fast we could go.

So, what has a strong hold on you right now?  Sometimes strongholds are negative like anxiety, fear, addiction, depression, and they can control our direction and stability in life.  Grief can have a stronghold on us too.  Yes, we need to grieve, and it will be part of the rest of our lives, but it does not need to control all of life.  It is living with grief.  Just like there will be situations that bring fear and anxiety, it does not mean we have to stop living and finding moments of joy in life.  Sometimes we have to do things afraid.  It is not letting the fear or anxiety have a stronghold on participating in life.

Stronghold is also positive.  Psalm 27:1 describes the Lord as the “stronghold of my life.”  God is our safety and protection.  God holds us up in the winds of life.  We do not see the wind, but we can feel it and see the results of it.  We cannot see God, but we can feel His presence and receive His peace and comfort.  God also helps us maneuver around the “droppings” of life, that is, the messes and problems and mistakes of life.

I have been pondering this concept of the stronghold of God and trying to visualize what it looks like for me.  The image that comes to my mind is like sitting in a fortified and sturdy chair wrapped in God’s presence.  The chair has arms where I rest my arms upon Jesus.  Every time I think of this image, it brings peace to my soul and pulls me into the presence of God. 

The worries and problems of life can get a hold on us and pull us away from the One who holds us and protects us.  This is a trust issue.  Do we trust God to take care of our needs in His timing not ours?  It is surrendering daily and recognizing God is in every moment and sees the big picture that we do not see.  God has a strong hold on us.  God will not let us go.  Fear, worry, anxiety, and struggles get in our head and cycle on repeat.  We fear God will not take care of us, so we have to be in control and our thoughts go to figuring it out on our own.  It is putting God in our thoughts first in the morning when we awake and allow God to be strong for us.

Listen sometime to Anne Wilson’s song, “Strong.”  Some of the words are –

“The world’s gonna try to break me.  But I know the one who makes me Strong.  I’m strong when I got nothing.  I’m strong even when I’m weak.  ‘Cause the strong arms of my Savior are holding on to me.”

Strong.  God has a strong hold on you!  God will never let you go.  You can trust Jesus.  God is the stronghold of my life.

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com