Eyes Backward

“When they are old, they will still produce fruit; they will be healthy and fresh.”  Psalm 92:14

 This past week marked the anniversary of the death of my mom.  It is hard to believe she has been in Heaven for 19 years.  Sometimes it feels like just yesterday, and other times it feels like forever.  Each year, I reflect on who I am because of my mom’s influence and love.  My mom was the first one to teach me about Jesus and how to pray.  My mom lived her faith quietly but with conviction and inner strength.  She loved music, and I always listen to Gospel music on her anniversary.  As I was listening to music on YT Music, the song “His Eye Is On The Sparrow” was played.  This song was sung by my sister-in-law at my mom’s funeral.  Then I prayed, “God, if “Victory In Jesus” is played next, I will know mom is with me.”  It was her favorite song, and yes, it came up next not just once but twice.  God gave me the assurance and a smile of joy.  God answers even the smallest of prayers to give us what we need.

My sister posted the picture that is beside this blog of my mom on the anniversary of her death.  It is the only picture we have of her as a child.  My mom’s mother died when my mom was five years old, and her father was unable to take his children with him, so my mom was raised by an uncle and a cousin.  Her eyes in this picture speak loudly.  She was a child who had just lost her mother and her whole world had changed.  My mom kept those feelings and experiences within her.

My mom taught me so much about daily living, faith, and how to live life.  One thing she taught me was to respect my elders and to listen to their stories and learn from their lives.  As a child, we always made visits on older relatives and spent time with my Grandma.  Our elders were respected, and they shared stories that I wish I had written down.  As I look backward, I may not remember the stories, but I remember the relationships and the love.  These older people became a part of my foundation of life, and because of my mom’s respect for them, I have spent most of my adult life and ministry connected with the oldest generation.

I recently had a visit day with six of my ninety something and almost ninety something friends and those who I continue to watch over and connect with from previous ministry relationships.  When I visit, this is when I feel God’s presence and spirit with me.  I feel like I am living out my passion and calling in life.  I love to make visits with people in their home environment.  They are relaxed and welcoming and open to sharing their life and stories. 

The stories were filled with memories and as I looked into their eyes, I saw the distant view in their reflection.  They were with me, but their thoughts and eyes were looking backward to the memories of husbands now in heaven and the life they shared together.  Sue’s memories are not in the present, and her eyes were sad with emotion.  As we sang and prayed, her eyes were fixed on Jesus and Heaven.  With others, I heard memories of childhood, meeting their husbands, and remembering how her husband made her laugh.  Their eyes were filled with memories as they reflected backward.  Those relationships are what sustains them today.

Our elders tell stories from their past to teach us.  We need to listen and ask questions and learn about their lives and how God walked with them and helped them through the tragedies and trials of their lives.  Just because they are not as active and involved now, their eyes still sparkle with life and memories and words of wisdom if we listen.  Look into the eyes of those who are telling you stories of their past and you will see the deep love that lives within their hearts.

 When we look back, our eyes are filled with memories that bring tears of joy and sadness mingled together.  We live in the present with our hearts remembering and our feet firm on the foundation from those who have poured their love into our lives.

When we reach out and visit those who are in their twilight years, we bring joy to their moments.  It also helps us to get out of our own heads and moods and focus on someone else.  Ask them questions about their lives and allow them to share and remember.  After you leave, they will sit in those memories and give thanks for the relationships of their lives.  We receive from them a blessing, and they have an opportunity to share and relive those experiences.  It is a gift of connection and reminds them they still have value and worth.

 Allow your eyes to look backward and remember while firmly planted into today.  Make the visit.  Listen to the stories. Allow someone’s life to continue to produce fruit.  My mom’s life continues to have purpose and meaning as I live out what she taught me through her words and actions.

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