Losing Purpose, Finding Hope
/
“For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Philippians 2:13
She had been a caregiver all her life – by profession and within her circle of love. She cared for her parents, her husband, and then her little dog as each of them took the journey home. Now she felt lost. She spent her days remembering and grieving. She had lost her purpose in life. She had nobody who needed her care, and she felt alone.
Purpose and hope go together. Purpose is what you are currently doing which makes you hopeful for your future. Hope is a trust and expectation that what you want to happen will be true. When you care for a loved one, your focus is on their current needs and also preparing for what comes next. You are taking care of their basic needs and details without much thought about your own life. Then your loved one goes to Heaven, and you have no clue about who you are now and what life will be for you. It feels like you have lost your purpose and hope because it was intertwined with your loved one.
As I talked this past week with the local Hospice Grief Support Group, I heard the struggle to live into this different life without their loved one. Two ladies were struggling with the loss of purpose after caring for their parents. When you are in the midst of caregiving, that is all that matters to you, and your priority and attention is directed to your loved one. Life then changes, and you feel that you have lost your purpose.
Purpose – is the reason for your life and why you were created and exist. Your purpose gives meaning to your life. So many people spend their lives searching for their one main purpose in life. We tend to think there is only one purpose, and God wants us to find it on our own. I believe our main purpose in life is to glorify God in all we do, say, and who we are. I also believe that we have a purpose in each season of life. But I believe God has a daily purpose in our lives. When we spend time seeking this huge purpose, we miss the reason for each day that God gives to us. God also gives us the strength and ability to complete our purpose.
In grief, change, and loss, we are trying to take steps into this different life and our focus needs to be one day at a time. That is how God wants us to live. Focus on one day or even better, one moment at a time. Our prayer each day could be, “God, what do you want me to do today in this moment?” Listen. It is amazing what God will bring to our thoughts.
Some days your purpose is to rest and just be. It is giving yourself permission not to be busy every day or every moment. In these moments of rest, recognize God’s presence with you and that God loves you. Life may not be what you wanted or expected, but it is the life you now have. It is allowing yourself to live in hope or at least a hope of a hope. You do not lose your foundation and knowledge of God’s presence even when you do not feel it or think you will get through the pain, hurt and changes.
Life with meaning, purpose and hope, that is how God desires us to live. Purpose is being who you were created to be and not focusing on the mess-ups, past hurts or failures. It is learning from them and going forward. It is forgiving yourself and not trying to earn favor with God by doing more and thinking your purpose is to work your way into being loved and accepted by God. You are already loved. You also already have the hope that you have a place in Heaven because you have received Jesus as Your Lord and Savior. You have eternity to look forward to – that is our ultimate hope.
So, what about now? What about today? Listen to God. Look around you. Who needs you? Needs a phone call? A visit? Has a need you could fulfill? It is not fixing or taking control of someone’s life, but stepping in and making that person a priority for a moment. Your purpose today may be a conversation, a smile, a gift to someone in need, or reassuring someone they are loved and important. When God’s Spirit lives within you, your purpose is allowing that Spirit to touch another situation or person with the love of Jesus and that gives meaning to your life.
Hope. Look forward to something. Put something on your calendar that you enjoy and then do it. Connect with someone and share a meal or conversation. Be intentional. Hope is what keeps you living.
You may lose what you thought was your purpose. It was for a period of time. Be open each day to your daily reason for life. Live in hope.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21
Elaine J. Sturtz
