Keeping Your Gaze
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“That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.” Psalm 27:4
I looked into the backyard from my kitchen window as I wandered through the house in the middle of the night, and the moon glistened on the snow. The trees cast a shadow on the snow, and the deer roamed throughout the yard leaving tracks. Today as I looked out the same windows, the snow reflected the bright sunlight and as I looked up the sky was a brilliant blue. A squirrel caught my eye as it jumped from tree to tree, and the cardinals fluttered from our bird feeder to our neighbors. The deep red of the birds stood out in the white snow. Nature – always something beautiful to witness. Sometimes I just get lost in the wonder of what God created for you and me to enjoy. I just gaze in awe at the beauty around me.
Sometimes in the cold of the winter as I look out my windows, my thoughts go to warmer weather and the beach and sunshine. I had experienced it earlier this winter, and my gaze went beyond what I was actually seeing to what my mind was experiencing and feeling and desiring.
My dear friend, Jan, took the journey to Heaven this past week. My heart is broken to let go of such a dear friend, but my heart also celebrates that Jan is with Jesus, the One she loved and the One who loved her. Jan’s life reflected the love of Jesus. Jan was filled with joy and her sweet spirit shared Jesus with every smile, every song, and every conversation.
As I talked with Jan the last Saturday of her earthly life, she was beginning the gaze beyond this physical world. She told me that the laws of nature she had believed were no longer true. She saw a gravel road and was beginning to gaze beyond this world. The things of this world were growing dim as the things eternal were coming into view. As I looked into Jan’s eyes, they were beginning to focus beyond. The veil between heaven and earth was lifting for Jan.
Two of her friends told me that when they asked how she was doing, Jan would reply, “I am gazing at Jesus gazing at me.” Jan now sees Jesus face to face and gazes into the eyes of pure love. To gaze means to look steadily, intently with great interest, pleasure and wonder. My mind is filled with what Jan and I gazed upon together on this earth. Together we saw the beauty of the Rocky Mountains as we flew over them. We saw the beauty of Idaho and the snow-covered mountains. We gazed upon the magnificent whales jumping out of the water in Hawaii. Together we gazed upon the faces of children and youth as Jesus came into their hearts as they sang to the glory of God. Together we gazed upon sadness and grief as we shared together in funerals. We gazed upon the burden of ministry together and the joys of seeing Jesus come alive in His children.
The sweet, sweet spirit of Jesus was on the face of Jan. She always had a song in her heart and she just couldn’t help but let it out. I loved to hear her sing. Everything reminded her of a song. As she prayed, you felt you were gazing into the presence of God. As Jan sang, the spirit of the song penetrated the walls of your heart and you were immersed into the holy moment. Jan’s eyes sparkled with joy. She had a childlike faith and trust, and she also continued to grow and learn and gain knowledge. Jan’s spirit brought you closer to God just by being in her presence.
It has been a privilege to be a part of her journey home to Heaven. Even when the pain was intense and it was hard to pray, the Spirit of Jesus was within her. She did not have to say any words because the Spirit was praying for her in “sighs too deep for words.” (Romans 8:26) Jan trusted to share with me what she was seeing. She knew I would understand because together we had gazed into each other’s hearts and shared the depth of life. It is amazing to receive a glimpse beyond the veil and to have the assurance life continues beyond the grave.
I have been pondering my own gaze. What has your attention and gaze? My desire is to keep my eyes upon Jesus and to gaze into His wonderful face. As the funeral directors took Jan’s body from her earthly home, we sang her out, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full into His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”
There is so much in the world that can catch our eye and distract us from keeping our focus on Jesus. Pain and disease try to tell us God does not care. Anxiety and worry say nobody is in control and we need to be. Sorrow and grief say life is hopeless. When we place our gaze on these things, life is overwhelming and exhausting. Yes, it is hard sometimes to see Jesus through all the clutter of our thoughts and feelings. Reach out and take the hand of Jesus. Call on Jesus to take your hand. It is trusting even when we do not understand.
I am trying to be intentional in my gaze. I am looking to Jesus. “Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect.” (Hebrews 12:2)
When I feel anxious and afraid, I am gazing upon Jesus who gives peace. When I feel alone and sad, I am gazing upon Jesus who is looking at me with His love and comfort. When I feel lost and unsure of my way, I am gazing upon Jesus who is the way, the truth and the life. When all I see is darkness, I am gazing in the dark to find Jesus who is the light. When I do not understand, I am gazing upon Jesus who is the Good Shepherd who will lead me. With Jesus, I have everything I need.
While I am sad that my friend, Jan is no longer here on earth, I know without a doubt she is keeping her gaze upon her Savior and Lord, Jesus.
Keep your gaze upon Jesus. Keep singing – “Turn your eyes upon Jesus.”
