Hallmark or Christmas Vacation Family?
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There are no perfect families. Even Hallmark movies have a conflict written into the script, but it is resolved by the end of the movie. Not all situations work out that quickly. It is not living in unrealistic expectations but an acceptance for who your family is. You cannot change people. You can only encourage and sometimes challenge them to try something different. You can also pray for them.
As a family, focus on your common ground - you have gathered to celebrate the season and to acknowledge you are family. When you get together, you admit that you are related. You have differences, but you have a connection. It is learning to communicate and not just assuming someone will be negative or reactive. Get to know your family for who they are, not who you think they are or want them to be.
Acceptance is key. It is loving a person for who they are and encouraging them to be all God created them to be. It is forgiving and not living in the past mistakes and hurts. You cannot change what happened, but you can choose not to keep bringing it up. Sometimes it is also accepting that a family member has not changed or even wants to change and putting a healthy boundary for yourself.
You may not like the tattoo, the haircut, or the clothes. You may disagree politically or spiritually and have different tastes in music and cars. But you are family and are attempting to be together during this holiday season. It is being willing to listen without judgment, ask questions to learn more about why your family member has the tattoo and believes what they believe. It is being willing to share and listen and to even agree to disagree.
It is finding things to enjoy together. Focus on the simple things of life. Play a game, put together a puzzle, take a walk, look at the clouds, and hundreds of other simple things that will connect you and help you enjoy the present moment with a family member.
Don’t compare your family to other families. Your family will be different. You only see the outward appearance of other families, and you know the depth of your family and what is hidden from the public.
Enjoy the moments with your family. Find family members that you connect with and spend time with them. Be grateful for the gift of family. They may not be who you want them to be, but they are yours. Family does not have to be blood related either. Family are the people you choose to share life with and who love you for who you are and accept your faults and forgive you when you mess up.
Merry Christmas! Celebrate! Jesus Christ is born.
Elaine J. Sturtz
Living In The Different
