Will You Be My Friend?

Relationships are wonderful, exhausting, fulfilling, confusing, but needed. Yes, relationships are filled with every feeling and emotion. You desire close friendships with whom you can share and enjoy life together, but sometimes you feel like you are doing all the work in maintaining the relationship. You are the one who always reaches out, makes the plans, and schedules the time together. The other person just shows up or frequently cancels at the last minute. It always seems you are not a priority, and when the person receives a better offer, you are dumped.

Some friendships are for a season. You were friends in elementary school, but now in high school your friendship circle changes. You were friends in college, but now you each have gone in different directions. You were friends cheering together as your children played on the same sports team, but your children no longer play sports. The friendships were based on the situation, but now that season of life is complete as well as the relationship. It is giving thanks for those friendships that were important at the time and releasing them and yourself to the next chapter of life.

Friendships are essential in life. People to share life with through adventures and activities. Friendship fills the heart with love and chases away loneliness. Friendships are developed through mutual interests, shared activities, and common beliefs. They grow through trust and being your genuine and authentic self. You spend time together, care and support one another, you listen and encourage each other, and life is better because of your friendship. This is the goal of friendship.

Friendships can be messy, hard, hurtful, and a struggle to develop and keep. The hurt comes when it is one sided and you get dumped on but receive no support when you are in need. The hurt grows when there is no balance or mutual respect or when you expect a person to always be available to you, but you are not a priority. It is hard when a misunderstanding has occurred, and one person does not want to talk through the issue and resolve it with kindness and forgiveness. Feelings get hurt and one person steps away and never returns to resolve the disagreement. Oh, the struggle to maintain and enjoy friendships.

The reality is that friends disappoint and mess up. One of the keys to maintaining friendships is to forgive. Talk it out. Let it go and move on. Sometimes you need to agree to disagree.

How do you develop friendships as adults? It usually happens in the activities and groups where you are connected. It is being open and talking with those around you. It is being interested in others and also willing to share yourself. It is taking a risk and reaching out. You will not connect with everyone and that is fine but keep trying and expanding your range. Friendships ease the loneliness and sadness when they are healthy and balanced. Enjoy time with others and treasure time alone to reset and refresh your inner spirit.

Be a friend. Be kind. Trust. Set healthy boundaries. Love. Forgive. Listen. Take risks out of your comfort zone to confront your loneliness.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different