Do You Absorb Everything?

Life is like a sponge for some of you. You absorb every emotion, every word, every negative comment, every problem, every hurt, everything. You soak up everything, and it goes deep within you. You feel exhausted because of the weight of the world that you feel within you. Life is heavy and overwhelming for you. At night you collapse into bed feeling drained and weary. You wake up feeling like you never rested, and you start your day fatigued.

So, you begin each day carrying a heavy load of emotions and feelings from others and each situation. You feel everyone dumps their emotional burdens on you, and you just absorb them. Finally, you just explode because you are depleted and worn to a frazzle. You think when you blow up and explode, you are letting it all out. But you are not releasing any baggage, just the emotion of anger. Exploding is just reacting verbally to the weight, but you are still full of everything and overwhelmed. You feel like you are being squeezed out like a sponge and ready to absorb all over again. It hurts.

Absorbing is the same idea of stuffing everything down inside of you. You do not want to upset others or make waves, so you keep it all inside and punish yourself. You may feel you are protecting others by absorbing all their emotions. It is your role. You may feel intimidated by others and not equal in ability or knowledge. You tend to say, “I’m sorry” often to avoid conflict. You apologize for taking up space and air. You think you mess up all the time and are not enough. You stuff and absorb also out of fear that you will not know what to say or how to react in the situation. You fear the negativity or anger of others and try to prevent it by absorbing.

There is another alternative. How about being more like a rock? A rock is firm like a foundation. It does not absorb because everything bounces off a rock. When you are more like a rock, you allow negative words, criticism, and the stuff of life to bounce off you. You do not absorb other people’s emotions and life. You have empathy. You listen and assist as needed, but you do not absorb everything about their life and circumstances. You are not their emotional protector.

When negative comments come toward you, let them bounce off. Remember it is more about the person who said it than about you. You evaluate the comment to see if there is any truth to it and deal with what you need to and release the rest. Just because someone said it does not make it true, nor do you need to accept it and allow it to affect your emotions.

You are a person of worth and value and do not need to apologize for breathing and existing. When a situation occurs and you immediately want to apologize, absorb the feelings or stuff the hurt, take a deep breath, pray, and step into a conversation not a conflict. Ask for clarification. Ask what the need really is. You have worth and equal value. Be more like a rock.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different