From Hurt To Healing

Life has hurts.  People hurt people.  Bad things happen.  Abuse, neglect, and choices cause damage physically and emotionally.  Words are spoke in anger and frustration.  Words become verbal abuse and damage another person.  People can be critical and cause pain. 

The body was created to heal.  You cut yourself.  You may receive stitches or just put a band-aid on it.  Over time, the skin grows back together, though it may leave a scar.  An emotional hurt leaves a scar deep within your soul that takes longer to heal.

You may replay the hurt done to you over and over in your mind.  You were not responsible for the hurt that was done to you.  You may have been a child with no voice or power.  You may have been hurt by someone who had an addiction or was emotionally unhealthy and abusive.  You may have been hurt by someone who was controlling and abused their power or position.  However the hurt occurred, it happened and has affected your emotions, relationships, and your outlook on life.

You are not responsible for what happened to you.  You did not cause the hurt.  But you are responsible for your own healing.  It is not allowing the hurt to be in control of your life and to live as a victim and be defined by the hurt.  Do not give that power to the one who hurt you.

The first step toward healing is to recognize where the hurt comes from and to name the hurt.  Be specific.  Pray it out.  Journal.  Talk with a counselor.  Acknowledge the depth of the hurt and how it has affected your behavior and emotions.  Don’t deny that it happened and stuff it down.  Let it out.  Name it for what it is – hurt.  Name the emotions and feelings tied with it. Then release it, and forgive the person.  Forgiveness does not justify the action or take away the truth of the act.  Forgiveness is for you so that the hurt no long controls you.  You do not have to tell the person you forgive them, but you have to tell yourself you forgive them and do not want the hurt to be in control anymore.

This will take time.  You may need to forgive the person hundreds of times in your mind before you can truly release the hurt.  Every time you think of the hurt, remind yourself it is released and no longer in control.  Put a dead-end sign in your head to prevent you from going down this well-worn path.  You are more than the hurt.

Healing continues as you turn your focus from the past to the present.  You are not the hurt.  You are more than what has happened to you.  The past cannot be changed.  It has happened.  The feelings and emotions are real, but not everything you experience now needs to go through those feelings of hurt. 

Unfortunately, people will hurt you even in the present and future, but it is developing healthier tools to deal with hurt.  It is not allowing the words of others to control you.  Yes, the words or actions may be an immediate hurt, but it is not absorbing them and letting them take residence in your head.  You do not need to give other people power over your emotions and life.  Healing continues as you find calming and peaceful ways to deal with the pains of life.  Prayer, time in nature, music, walks, journaling, and quiet time are a few of the tools that help guide healing.

Elaine’s website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different