Are You Him Hawing Around?

Do you hesitate, stall or act indecisively when making a decision?  Some people avoid making a decision fearing it will be the wrong one or that others will disagree with the decision.  Or when asked a question, the person never gives a direct or straight answer.  The person is always hemming and hawing or the casual form is “Him Hawing Around.”

When a person hesitates to answer a question, there may be several reasons why the person seems to have difficulty articulating a response.  One reason may be they are pausing to formulate the response desiring to choose the correct words.  Another reason for the hesitancy is the desire to please the person asking the question and are attempting to decipher the reason for the question. The person may be clueless and does not want to appear ignorant so stalls in hopes the question will be rescinded or the person will answer the question themselves.

But usually, the reason a person hesitates or stalls is because the person does not want to answer the question and does not know a polite way to avoid the question.  The solution is being direct and either saying, “That’s a good question and I have no response” or saying, “I prefer not to answer the question.”

When a person “him haws around” a person tends never to address the actual question or situation and goes down tangents that have no relevance to the situation.  The person may start relating about what happened years ago and go into details that confuse and lose the focus of the current conversation.  Sometimes, the one who asked the question just gives up because no straight answer is to be found.

Some people have difficulty starting a conversation.  The person does not make eye contact and tends to “hem and haw” saying, “Well, uh….”  Or the person just talks about themselves and tells stories that do not go together, that is, never finishing one story or thought before beginning another one.  The person’s line of thought seems to jump the tracks and never conclude a topic.

People may “him haw around” because they know they are wrong and do not know how to admit their mistakes or even take responsibility. They attempt to avoid the conflict that was created because they did not speak up when necessary and do not want to deal with the issue.  When in a conversation with those who know the truth, they rarely go near the topic.  When asked if the situation has been resolved, excuses are created.  Some people want to pretend it did not happen.  The old saying goes – they just push it under the rug and pretend nothing is there.

So, how do you react and deal with “him hawing around” people?  How do you change your own indecisiveness?  First, begin with the truth.  Tell yourself the truth.  Have a conversation with yourself and assess the situation.  When having conversations, be direct.  Look at the person as you talk.  Answer questions with truth statements and be willing not to answer questions that the person asking does not need to know.

Learn to listen more and talk less.  Be concerned about the other person and how they are doing.  If you have done the wrong, apologize when the other person has been hurt or offended.  Even agree to disagree. 

Elaine’s website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different