Smack Dab in The Memories

Memories.  They come at unexpected times and randomly.  Certain locations and places where you have had experiences in the past bring back memories.  These memories become alive and vivid within when triggered by being smack dab in the actual place or a similar experience or feeling.  Smack dab means to be exactly in that place.  Right at the moment to be precisely present.  It is to be in the middle of.

But what if you find yourself “smack dab” in the middle of a place or situation that triggers a memory of pain or trauma?  You go to the hospital to visit someone, and you are smack dab into the memory of the death of your spouse and those intense emotions.  You go to the nursing home, and you remember your dear friend being in the same place.  Your mind goes back to that moment in the past and you relive the experience and the loss. 

You find yourself smack dab in the midst of the pain, hurt, sadness, and a terrible day.  Do you give in to the emotions and throw the whole day away?  Memory is a gift from God.  We enjoy the happy and pleasant memories and try to let the bad memories fade. It is giving yourself permission to feel the hurt and sadness and pain but not to stay in it.

So you may be smack dab in emotions you do not want to feel again.  You feel the loss, sadness, grief, changes, and a different chapter of life. You are smack dab in the midst of today.  What if you gave today a chance and you focused on the good of today?  The blessings instead of the mess.  You trust more and worried less.  You find something that makes you smile.  You give yourself permission to experience the memories and are grateful for the adventures and the relationships. You focus on the good of the people in the memories not on the loss and grief.

Sometimes you may prefer being anywhere else than where you currently are physically and emotionally.  The past memories seem to be better and less stressful than your current situation.  Memories remind you that you survived the struggles of the past, and you will walk through your present pain and conflict.  You are not alone.  Look to your past and recognize those who walked with you and how your faith carried you.

You may feel smack dab in the middle of the mess of life right now.  Slow down.  Take some deep breaths.  Recognize what is good around you, and name those who can be of support and care to you.  Ask for help when needed. Release the need to figure it all out and to control the situation. 

Focus on the good of being smack dab where your feet are.  That is, smack dab in the middle of your current situation and life.  Focus on the now, not just the tasks and list of things you need to do.  Find a moment to just rest smack dab where you are and breathe in and out.  Slow yourself down and recognize the blessings around you.  Be grateful for what you have, not what you don’t have.  Look up and focus on the One who created the world.  Give life a chance.  It may not be what you wanted it to be, but it is the life you currently have.  Live smack dab into it.  Allow the memories to be your foundation to live fully now.  Memories are stepping stones into the present.  All you have is today, this very moment.  Change your focus from all that is wrong, to what is good.  Be kind to yourself.  Be kind to others.  When you do something good for someone else, it fills you up.  It gives your life meaning right now.  It was your purpose for being smack dab where you are.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In the Different