Your Modus Operandi
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You may be left-handed and complete tasks and do things a little differently than the majority of people who are right-handed. For example, you may tie your shoestrings differently, hang towels with the open side on the left not the right side or place cups in the cabinet with the handle on the left. You may also have ways of doing tasks that are unique and have nothing to do with which hand is dominant. For instance, shoes need to be straight and together on the floor or on a shoe rack. Laundry needs to be done and put away before going to work or leaving the house in the morning.
Each person has certain quirks or ways of doing something. It is your modus operandi. It is a particular way or special method of doing something that is characteristic of you and well established. It is who you are. You have probably said and heard others say, “That’s just who I am.” Some of the methods are learned behaviors from the environment while other things are just unique to the individual. It is the way God makes each person – unique with different qualities.
So, what is your modus operandi when life changes unexpectantly? When bad things happen to you or those around you? When conflict happens? When someone is negative and wrongs you? What is your established behavior and way of responding when life is not what you want or desire? Do you blow up, fall apart, blame others, retreat, or deal with it differently?
For some people, it is a take charge attitude and an attempt to control the situation. They try to fix it and become angry that it happened. They cannot trust anyone, so they take control to protect themselves from being hurt again. They have defined life so that they need to be vigilant and dominate the situation or life will fall apart, wound, or treat you badly. Nobody is going to take care of you, so you have to do it yourself.
For others, your modus operandi is to be afraid and worry when life changes. Fear is in control. Your anxiety escalates with every change. You attempt to plan for everything that could happen and feel overwhelmed with all the possibilities. You live in this heightened state most days assuming you are just an anxious person.
Others of you operate out of an escape concept. When life gets difficult and changes occur, you shut down and escape to what is familiar and comfortable. It may be a habit of zoning out with TV, social media, games, food, drinking, or sleeping. You do not like change, and therefore you do not want to face it. You let someone else take charge and you just try to live oblivious to life.
You may be one that when faced with hurt and hardship and the tragedies of life, you just stay busy. You will just work your way through it. Not think about it but stay busy with work and the details of daily life. If you work hard enough, you can avoid it, or it will just go away.
Most of the modus operandi concepts mentioned are well established but never really satisfy or create a sense of peace about the changes in life. All the ones mentioned are based on trying to fix, work or do it on your own. Others just keep you stuck, afraid, and going in circles.
It is recognizing how you were made and embrace who you are. Nobody is perfect nor will you handle every situation correctly or with grace. It is establishing a healthy modus operandi. It is releasing anxiety, fear and the need to control. It is depending on One greater than yourself and praying each day for guidance. It is seeking peace and contentment in life and not allowing the world to define you.
Elaine J. Sturtz
Living In the Different
Elaine will be leading a seminar – “Living Life Forward” on Saturday, March 21st from 9 AM to 12 pm at Trinity Evangelical Church on Malabar Drive in Upper Sandusky. Everyone is welcome.
