Readjusting Your Relationships

Life is filled with relationships.  You were born into a family and created relationships with those connected to your family.  You attended school with other students who were in your class and you developed friendships.  Some of those friendships continued throughout school life and even beyond.  You worshipped in a church and created a church family relationship with those around you.  You worked and relationships happened because of your time together.  You joined a variety of organizations and because of your mutual interest, you formed a bond.

When you are in relationship with someone, you appreciate the person for who they are and see the person as valuable to your life.  People were created to be in relationship with one another.  Yes, you can live life alone, but there is an emptiness and lack of growth because nobody challenges you or fulfills the inner need for connection.  Some people are with you for a lifetime and others for a moment or season.  Each person has a purpose.  You learn from one another what to do and also what not to do.

In each season of life, you experience changes in relationships. Family is still family but their needs change and may take steps away from you as they develop their own lives within a new family unit.  It is being able to release children and grandchildren to mature and grow into who they were created to be.  Sometimes it may feel they are distant and do not respond to communication.  Responding is a choice.  It does not always mean the person no longer cares; it just means they are slow to respond or choose not to answer calls or texts.

Friendships also change because of interests, locations, and other focuses in life.  For some people, grandchildren are the center of their life and friendships take a back seat to being involved in the life of grandchildren.  Remember, children are little only once.  Relationships are therefore based on priorities.

When you move to a new city or even a new neighborhood, relationships change.   You may promise to keep in touch, but it takes more effort and is not as convenient as it once was.  It is not that you do not care about the people in your past, they are no longer as convenient and new relationships are developing.

Life changes relationships.  People remain part of your foundation and when you think of them or recall an experience, you are thankful for their life and your connection.  You still care about them and when you do see them, you may hug them and are excited to “catch up” on life.  Some relationships are for seasons.  You walk with people in the joys, struggles, adventures and sorrows of life, but then your lives separate and go down different paths.

Sometimes, you need to grieve the changes and accept that you can still treasure the relationship and give thanks for the memories and the experiences.  You readjust and develop new connections.  You cannot force people to stay in your life or try to do everything for them to keep the relationship.  It is releasing people to connect to others and be grateful for the time together.  Even in families, it is recognizing your role and responsibility.  It is enjoying the moments and allowing family members to create their own life and relationships.  It is learning to step in and enjoy, and step out and allow others to live their lives without you in the midst of it.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different

Check out Elaine’s website – www.livinginthedifferent.com – for her blog and books.