Disappointed But Not Discouraged

Life disappoints.  People disappoint.  They do not meet your expectations.  They do not always follow through and do what you had hoped or even what they promised to do.  Someone may have promised to always be there for you but when you needed them, they were nowhere to be found.  You may be disappointed that they do not support you now even though they have been your friend for a long time.

What do you do with your disappointments?  First, you need to define disappointment.  It is a sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.  Sometimes your disappointment is directed toward a person, sometimes a situation, and sometimes toward yourself.  For some of you, it is bringing these feelings to God.  Talk to God about how you feel, not to other people.  Release the sadness and irritation.  Do not absorb the failure of others to meet your expectations.  They may not have known what you expected.  Other people have different views of the situation than you do.  When you live in the expectations of what others should do, you will always be disappointed.

When you are disappointed in how you reacted, what you failed to do or what you actually did, don’t beat yourself up. It is recognizing everyone messes up from time to time.  Nobody is perfect.  It is forgiving yourself and releasing the sadness.   When you dwell on the disappointments, it can turn to bitterness and resentment.  It festers inside and prevents you from moving forward.  You just ruminate on the hurt, and it begins to permeate into all areas of life.  You quit connecting with others because of the fear they will just disappoint you or you will disappoint them.  This can lead to discouragement.

Discouragement is the loss of confidence or enthusiasm for something.  You expected others to be supportive of your endeavor.  You had hoped they would be as excited about it as you are.  When it did not happen, you may have become upset, angry, and at first wondered why you even bothered.  The thoughts in your head were negative and began to convince yourself to give up.  But through prayer and quieting your soul and not giving other people control, you did not become discouraged.  In fact, you used the disappointment and turned it into courage to try something new and different.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or something frightening.  It is facing a fear.  Courage is deep inside.  It comes from your trust and faith.  You can use your disappointments as training ground to grow and depend on your faith and not the views of other people.  Courage is to deliberately choose to persevere through adversity.  It is acting despite your fear.  It is doing something afraid, but still doing it.

When you live in the expectations of others, they are in control. You will sway back and forth based on their whim and fickleness.  Have the courage to face your disappointments and not let them defeat you or control you.  Use them as a challenge that there is a greater plan – one you cannot see yet.  Don’t be discouraged.  Trust forward.

Life will always disappoint.  Change your focus.  Use your disappointments and go a different direction.

Check out Elaine’s website and blog and books – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different