Being In The Know

Is it important to you to be the first person to know and have the knowledge of what someone did or said?  Do you feel angry or upset when someone else knows the scoop before you do?  It makes you feel important and even better than others because you know something about someone else that nobody else knows yet.

Some people are quick to find out and quick to share “the dirt” on others even before knowing all the facts.  This is a form of gossip – sharing rumors that are usually negative and without consent.  A person shares for the purpose of hurting another person’s reputation and making them look bad while trying to elevate one’s status because you know what is going on.

The reality is gossip in any form is hurtful and disrespectful.  Gossip lowers a person’s status and tears down other people.  One becomes arrogant and places a judgment on another person in gossip.  It is basically stating that you would never do what you are sharing and are better than that person.  This is not true.  The one who gossips has just gotten down in the dirt and revealed you are not trustworthy.  You give no grace or forgiveness.

There are two main issues here that can affect who you are and how you deal with life.  First, you think you need to know everybody’s business and have the authority to make a judgment.  Some would call this being snooty, snoopy, or a busy body.  It is making yourself the judge and sharing what has nothing to do with you.  Second, just because you know something does not mean you need to share it.  It is being judgmental and never giving grace and believing you have a right to share everything you hear.  You probably do not want others to share your life, so why do you think you can do it to others?

Some people are spending too much time focused on finding the bad in others and letting everyone else know it.  Change your focus to enjoying your own life and not creating a “soap opera” out of the lives of other people.  Share the good news and accomplishments of others if they want you to do so.  Ask permission to share.  Do not assume it is your responsibility and role to share.

Didn’t your mom teach you – “If you can’t say anything good about someone, don’t say anything.”  Find good in people.  Encourage others and not tear them down.  Give people grace when they mess up.  You are not the evening news that needs to broadcast it immediately without the facts.  Do something different.  Pray first.  Go talk to the person if you need to share it and be of support and help in the situation.  Pray with them and for them.

Sometimes the best gift you give yourself and others is to just listen.  Before you share anything ask yourself, “Is it true?”  “Does it build up or tear down someone?” “Is it mine to share?”  When you hear gossip and negativity about others, take the step of not sharing it, pray about what you heard, and then release it. 

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different