Functioning In The Lows of Life

You feel sad, nothing motivates you or interests you for very long, and life just keeps happening around you.  When you think about the future, it does not excite you and you have no hope that life will change.  If you have some of these feelings, you may be experiencing a form of depression.  Or this reminds you of someone in your life.

You may go through the motions of daily life and appear to function well.  You put on a good front and other people may not see your sadness.  You go to work, take care of the necessities of your life.  You are existing but are not truly living fully and have no joy.  Your sleep pattern is either you want to sleep all the time, or you cannot sleep.  Sometimes sleep is your escape from life.

You exist outwardly, but inwardly you are drowning in negative thoughts, and depression has control over your thoughts and well-being.  You see life through the lens of your persistent sadness.  Your negative head space rehearses your past mistakes and failures, and the merry-go-round of life has your head spinning with no hope of getting off.  You do not feel good about who you are, and you lack motivation to change because you find it difficult to make any decisions.

Your reality is negative thoughts that have a choke hold on you.  These thoughts may have come from a trauma in your life or childhood experiences.  You have defined yourself through it.  Certain medical conditions also increase the feelings of depression along with genetics.  Also, one becomes conditioned to how a parent or family member dealt with life and then you respond in the same way.

You have defined your sadness and depression, and now steps are needed to move forward and make a change.  Yes, medication and counseling are very important and helpful, but personal steps of change are needed too.  It is important to acknowledge how you feel – sad, tired, lacking motivation and lack of hope.  Then it is accepting this is how you feel without judgment toward yourself.  You cannot deny how you feel.  Make it real.  Once you stop beating yourself up and accept you have these feelings, it is remembering they are feelings and do not need to define you or control you.  You can have them but not be them.

When negative thoughts intrude, it is accepting you feel that way right now, but there is more to you than those feelings.  It is putting a stop sign in your head, and telling yourself, “I give myself permission to feel this way for a period of time and then I am going to feel something different.”  It is beginning to add positive words to your head – positive self-talk and prayer.  “I am loved.”  “I have value.”  “I have purpose.”  It will take time to change your stuck record of negativity, but if you keep rehearsing the negative it will never change.  It is hearing yourself and reminding yourself of the good of yourself.  It is doing something different each day to get out of your rut.  Nothing huge, but small steps.  Focus on moments not the whole day. 

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different