Feeling Time Stamped

Life events are recorded and remembered based on the time and date they occur.  You remember births, deaths, anniversaries, and when trips or major life changes happened based on the dates.  Some people are great at remembering dates and even the exact time.  These events are time stamped in your head and heart as memories you share and pull out to reminisce.  They are part of who you are.  The past is full of these time stamped moments.  They have made you who you are.

Some people may have time stamped you.  They only have one view of you – how you interacted or reacted at one time in your life and that view never changes.  You may have changed and matured but they still see you how you used to be.  For instance, you may have been immature and done some stupid things, but now you have matured and are grounded in your faith, but the family still treats you as immature.  You have been time stamped by other people who cannot get past their previous view of you and give you another chance.

You may have time stamped yourself.  You live in a past that you cannot get past.  You were hurt by another person and remain in the victim mode of life.  You had trauma and still define yourself by the date and time of the trauma.  Yes, it happened and the pain and hurt was real.  It has influenced your emotions and behaviors.  You have allowed yourself to stay in this misery instead of healing from it and not allowing it to define who you are now.  You have time stamped yourself.

To time stamp yourself is to allow something that happened in your past or how you reacted or behaved to be your view of yourself now.  You feel life stopped after the death of a loved one.  You stopped enjoying life and just exist now.  You may have time stamped life in general.  You will never get out of debt.  You will always struggle.  You will never get ahead.  You will always be stuck.  You will always be anxious, depressed, and worried.  You live in the shadow of how others see you.  Time has stopped, and you are not progressing or growing.  You feel stuck and stale. Even in your faith, you may have time stamped yourself. 

Let’s find some ways to break out of the negative time stamped view.  It is acknowledging the past happened.  Some of it was good, and you want to keep the memories as your foundation of life.  Some of it created emotions and behaviors that you can change.  Trauma and hurt happened, but it was in the past.  Begin to desensitize yourself to it – acknowledge it but remind yourself it cannot hurt you anymore.  It has no control over you.

It is finding good in life and making positive changes.  Recognize the good in yourself.  This is the life you now have.  Do different things to get unstuck.  Stop blaming life and take responsibility for the life you now have.  Time moves forward.  It may not be what you chose or wanted, but it is what you now have.  The only way other people can change their view of you, is by you changing your behaviors and how you live forward in life.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different