Indecisively Impulsive

Is it difficult for you to make a decision?  You may be afraid it will be wrong, or it will cause a mess. You fear others may not agree with your choice, and you do not want to upset others.  Your desire is to keep life calm and if that means allowing others to make the decisions, then you just wait for someone to choose even if it is not your preference.  Making choices – even if it is what to have for dinner – brings some feelings of anxiousness and worry that not everyone will agree.

Maybe you are impulsive and quickly make a decision without much thought or information.  You do not consider the consequences and just see yourself as a free spirit who can handle whatever happens.  You do not consider the feelings and views of others but tend to push through your ideas.  You believe everyone will enjoy your idea.

You may be one that takes your time in making a decision.  You research and ponder all the options.  You gather the facts.  Look at the pros and cons.  You even sleep on it, never wanting to make an uninformed decision.  You go over and over all the facts and share them with others who may not be as interested in all the details as you are. You try to make a decision based on the facts and the best possible option.

These are two extremes in decision-making and problem-solving.  Impulsiveness has no forethought but is in the moment and makes the choice based usually on how one feels and is quick to ask for forgiveness instead of permission.  Those who lean toward being impulsive usually enjoy the moment and easily can change and be ready for anything.  You may be spontaneous in trying new adventures which is the good of being impulsive. But some of the consequences can be devastating financially and in relationships.  You may hurt others because you did not take the time to consider their needs.

Indecisiveness never decides, and it is too risky to attempt making a choice.  You are the one when asked, “Where do you want to eat?” replies, “It doesn’t matter, you choose.”  You may then complain inwardly because you don’t like the food there, but you would never say anything.

Taking your time to gather the facts and do the research is good as long as it is done in a timely manner, and you actually make a choice.  Sometimes researchers take so long that you exasperate those around you because decisions are delayed.

Balance is the key to decision making.  There is a place for both.  It is good to be impulsive if it brings adventures and joy in life.  Doing activities on the spur of the moment without plan can be fun and fulfilling.  Making plans, doing the research, and making a decision within a healthy time frame is good too.  Decision-making builds confidence when your decisions work out for the good.  It also teaches you to evaluate what you learned when decisions do not turn out as you had hoped. 

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different