Dealing With Sensitive Feelings

“You’re so sensitive” is usually a negative comment made by someone who hurt your feelings and then put the blame on you for being too sensitive.  The person did not think they did anything wrong, but you took it personally.  You felt hurt and not respected.  The other person may have been blunt or spoken sharply, and you reacted to their tone and attitude. Now what do you do with your hurt feelings?  You all have feelings.  You were created to feel and express emotions.  Nothing wrong with having them.  It is what you do with them that defines who you are.

Some people may have a sensitivity overload and are easily overwhelmed with loud noises, strong smells, bright lights or crowds.  It is being proactive and aware and know when to step away from the stimuli and find ways to self-soothe and calm your senses.

When being sensitive is viewed in a negative context, you may react to the statement by retreating inward.  You do not respond and give the silent treatment to the one who offended you.  Or you may lash out in your hurt and become reactive.  You believe the person does not care about your feelings.  You may create a wall of protection and not want to share your emotions out of fear of being rejected or made to look weak.

So, when someone hurts your feelings, how do you react or respond?  We all have sensitivities to certain words, actions, people, and situations.  Acknowledge to yourself what was done or said upset you in some way. It may have triggered past feelings that made you feel less than or vulnerable.  It is accepting that you are more sensitive and that is not a bad thing.  It is also knowing that some people just make hurtful statements.  Do not give them power over your emotions and feelings.  It is more about who they are than about what they said to you.

Sometimes you may be able to talk about what was said or done.  “Yes, I am sensitive.  Let’s talk about what you just said.  What did you mean?”  It is not becoming defensive but being open to a conversation and understanding what the person meant.  Sometimes this works and other times you may have to give it time and come back later to talk through it.  Other times, you just have to let it go.  It is also being honest with yourself.  Do you take things too personally and assume another person is intentionally hurting you?  By being hyper-sensitive to other people’s words, you are assuming someone is always putting you down and being negative about you. 

 Being sensitive can also be viewed as positive.  You are able to sense or feel another person’s emotions.  You are aware of reactions of others and what causes hurt and pain and what brings them joy.  You have a compassionate heart and choose to be sensitive to the needs of others.  You have empathy for others.  You not only see the need, but you sit in the hurt with them.  You can read a person’s body language and moods. 

 Being sensitive also means you feel the beauty and are aware of the things that take your breath away.  You use all the senses that God has given you and take in the world around you.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different